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Reasons to keep going

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Biblioklept
Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
Trying to word this openly without getting myself safeguarded... :D 

I think a lot of people struggle in the winter, not just because the rubbish weather and dark days and nights but the 'festive' season leaves lots of us exhausted and feeling low, and some of us can't afford to feel much lower. 

So I thought maybe those of us who've been there or get it could try and put together the things that have helped us keep going. Maybe our reason might become someone else's or help someone through a tough time. <3 

Going to start a list in a new comment, please all feel free to add your own!!

(And to the mods, I'm fine, I promise!)

Comments

  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
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    1. Spite
    I know, I know. But honestly, there have been times where the main motivator in my life has been out of pure spite to those who have wronged me. I couldn't let them win. I saw another survivor once call it "An obstinate refusal to die" and I loved that. Don't let those who have wronged you win. 

    2. Fear
    Not of death, but of getting it wrong or messing it up and being stuck with the consequences. I'm glad of that fear and it is an important one to acknowledge. And it is a good a reason as any!

    3. Potential
    I don't know the future. I can predict and make guesses but I don't know, so why am I stopping any potential by calling an early end. As a child I could never have imagined the positions I've been in through my life. 2 years ago I wouldn't have foreseen where I am now. Life changes, no matter how much we think we are stationary, it changes. You don't know what the future holds any more than I do. 
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
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    4. Oh, and the realisation that I was in distress. Distress isn't just a one off brief feeling. It can go on for years. You can't make a sound and rational decision when you're in distress. Don't listen to low you. They're stupid. <3 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,252 Disability Gamechanger
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    I keep going for your 3rd reason mostly ...

    If someone told me the way I am now is how I will be forever, I would end my life in the blink of an eye ...

    But I keep going because of the possibility that things are going to get better, and I will have a good life and do things I want to do :)
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
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    I think that's so true @66Mustang and it's so easy to feel like this is all there will ever be.

    But it doesn't have to be. If you end it prematurely you'll never know for sure and are instead sealing that fate. 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,252 Disability Gamechanger
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    That is very true @Biblioklept

    I feel for some relatives I have who are elderly, unable to do stuff, and despair at life because for them things are only going to get worse

    Using my logic they should end it now but for some reason they keep going

    I am lucky to be relatively young and have potential good things ahead of me

    I suppose they have their memories of being young and doing fun things, which I don't have
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,832 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm almost certain that my vision problems will be with me for as long as I live (amongst other problems), but my attitude is "what will be will be" I've had problems now for 25 years and day to day life can be horrible, but then there are the good times we have old friends that we don't see much of (known them for 39 years) they visited at the weekend and we had a good catch up and a laugh which cheered me up.

    Don't get me wrong there have been some really bad times as well and around 16 years ago I took a large overdose (its ok it won't happen again) it was serious at the time and almost cost me my life but didn't.

    All the cr@p thats happening in this country and worldwide really concerns me but all I can do is hope for better days.
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Community member Posts: 516 Pioneering
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    But it doesn't have to be. If you end it prematurely you'll never know for sure and are instead sealing that fate. 
    If you're thinking of ending it, you don't actually care what might be ahead. 

    In the now, all I can see is the same continuous fight to get nowhere.

  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
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    JessieJ said:

    But it doesn't have to be. If you end it prematurely you'll never know for sure and are instead sealing that fate. 
    If you're thinking of ending it, you don't actually care what might be ahead. 

    In the now, all I can see is the same continuous fight to get nowhere.

    You're very right and as I'm not currently in the midst it's easy to forget that. <3 It can be hard to even know where exactly you're fighting to get and what you're fighting for.

    (completely off topic I love your profile picture!!!) 
  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Community member Posts: 516 Pioneering
    edited November 2023
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    I'm in the midst & have really had enough, but hey, life does go on of a fashion.

    Thanks, @Biblioklept, trying with the Christmas cheer, sadly, the lights don't twinkle an avatar though.
  • Bettahm
    Bettahm Community member Posts: 1,443 Disability Gamechanger
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    Not really a reason to keep going but all that's keeping me going now...

    Apart from my pets who are my #1 reason -

    Anger!!
    Anger at a mental health system that treats the condition, not the individual, with this 'one size fits all' approach and when the person does not respond to treatment discharges them without telling them and without giving a reason. Tho it will tell your gp but they wont tell you either. So just dumped basically. 
    That same system has told you all your issues are only fear and the only way over them is to face them. Never mind getting to the root cause of your issues and working with you, lets just totally screw you up by repeatedly trying to get you to do things you cannot do.
    Then let's do a sneak assessment, no warning, find out your benefit income and what your spending it on, see if you need to pay for social care (which I dont want)
    Then you dont respond to treatment and you dont want what we have decided at a meeting you were not present at or informed about the decisions, you need - so we kick you out, leaving you worse then when we started and with no further help.
    Yes I'm angry!!
    Our mental health system needs a shake up. It needs to treat the individual not the condition,  and it needs to understand that CBT does not work for everyone. 
    Above all when sick people dont respond to treatment you do not just discharge them!!!
    How sick is that!
    It must be happening across the UK.
    They need reforms.
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
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    JessieJ said:
    I'm in the midst & have really had enough, but hey, life does go on of a fashion.
    Is it anything specific that maybe sharing could help with or that sucky overwhelming feeling where you can't put your finger on it but it's just everything?? I'm here if you want to offload <3
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,751 Disability Gamechanger
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    Bettahm said:
    Not really a reason to keep going but all that's keeping me going now...

    Apart from my pets who are my #1 reason -

    Anger!!
    Anger at a mental health system that treats the condition, not the individual, with this 'one size fits all' approach 
    Anger is a good one (I don't have pets but hear they are a great reason too <3)

    That one-size-fits-all approach drives me mad. I was discharged for 'failure to engage' soooooooooooo many times. Like if I could engage I wouldn't need your help :D The fact they can deem anyone 'too complex' is just crazy too. Keep fighting @Bettahm!!!

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Community member Posts: 516 Pioneering
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    JessieJ said:
    I'm in the midst & have really had enough, but hey, life does go on of a fashion.
    Is it anything specific that maybe sharing could help with or that sucky overwhelming feeling where you can't put your finger on it but it's just everything?? I'm here if you want to offload <3

    Thanks for the offer, @Biblioklept, specifics & I can put several fingers on them, but I'm not a talker. Cheers though! <3
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 4,836 Scope online community team
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    Thanks for sharing @Biblioklept some of what you said really rang true with me.  

    When I was really bad mentally, it was spite that kept me going.  I wanted to get better just to spite the bullies.

    @Bettahm As John Lydon once sang "Anger is an energy."  and that pushed me through a lot of hardships.

    I was never angry AT people mind you, it's just a very powerful energy to harness if you're very stubborn. ;)


    And @JessieJ if you do ever want to talk things through, we're all here to support you. 
    Albus (he/him)

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  • hawkbanana81
    hawkbanana81 Scope Member Posts: 7 Courageous
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    I don’t know how to keep going anymore but just keep thinking if I give up all those who hurt me and made life unbearable have won. 
    I haven’t fought to get this far to give up now although right now I really want to. 
    My beautiful gerbils are my main reason to keep going, if I’m not here then no one will look after them. I love them so much, they are my world, my reason to get up in the mornings. I need them as much as they need me.
  • Bettahm
    Bettahm Community member Posts: 1,443 Disability Gamechanger
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    I don’t know how to keep going anymore but just keep thinking if I give up all those who hurt me and made life unbearable have won. 
    I haven’t fought to get this far to give up now although right now I really want to. 
    My beautiful gerbils are my main reason to keep going, if I’m not here then no one will look after them. I love them so much, they are my world, my reason to get up in the mornings. I need them as much as they need me.
    Yes, my pets are my main reason to keep going. Agree with you 100. 
    Where people fail you all the time, animals are constantly loyal, reliable, and there for you.
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