Impostor syndrome — Scope | Disability forum
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Impostor syndrome

Gnu89
Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
Hi all,

I'm ok but I don't want to lose the progress I've made in the last year.  What I mean is I have thought what's the point of taking on volunteering gigs that are tedious and don't challenge me intellectually.

I feel like I'm just good for menial work and don't deserve to aspire to more, though it's something I'm still working on in therapy.

Comments

  • Gnu89
    Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
    What I mean by imposter syndrome is how I enrol onto a course and the thought creeps in that I won't be as good as the others.
  • Gnu89
    Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
    One day I'll leave the UK behind and go somewhere else when I have enough money.
  • Beaver79
    Beaver79 Community member, Community Co-Production Group, Scope Member Posts: 15,815 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Gnu89 Well done for enrolling on the courses. I am sure you are not the only one who thinks I will not be as good as everyone else. The main thing is you try and do your best. Good luck. 
  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 1,715 Scope online community team
    Hi @Gnu89, imposter syndrome is such a difficult one. I've had conversations with people I see as being so confident and sorted in their lives and they still have doubts about whether they're good enough and fears about being 'found out' to be rubbish at whatever it is they do. 

    I think one thing I've found helpful is trying my best not to focus on being 'good' at anything, just focusing on what I'm getting out of it. If it's a hobby or something I'm interested in, just being there and enjoying myself is enough, and whether I'm as good as anyone else isn't all that important. I've often found that most people are more worried about themselves than about what anyone else is doing anyway. Not easy though, and I'm definitely still working on it myself.

    Where in the world would you like to go if you had the money?
    Rosie (she/her)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Gnu89
    Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
    The Alps in Switzerland maybe, somewhere peaceful without so many people and troubles.
  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 1,715 Scope online community team
    That sounds lovely @Gnu89 the scenery would be so beautiful :)
    Rosie (she/her)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Gnu89
    Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
    edited February 7
    @Rosie_Scope It's just my father has overshadowed a lot of my life so I never really developed my own identity. 

    It comes from a good place, but now I need space and want to be less dependent on him especially with transport.

    He still sees me as unable to look after myself and incapable of forming my own relationships.  I don't know if it's unintended gaslighting but he still seems to talk to me like a child and reminding me I'm a vulnerable autistic person instead of giving me the wisdom and skills to be an independent adult.

    We never talked about if I would be interested in a life partner or my ideal career and I feel like I missed out on so much self discovery.
  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 1,715 Scope online community team
    edited February 7
    That sounds difficult to deal with @Gnu89. I have an autistic family member that's been through a similar experience with their parents. Their parents often don't realise that what they see as help is stopping that person from feeling independent and in control of their own life.

    As you say, it comes from a good place but it's still tough to get your point across when you're trying to move forward and work on your skills. Have you ever managed to talk about it with him?
    Rosie (she/her)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Gnu89
    Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
    edited February 7
    @Rosie_Scope Of sorts, he is less pushy since we sat down for my diagnosis, I have tried to talk candidly with him, he acknowledges my struggles but I don't think he truly sees me as an adult, and I don't think many other people do either, but that's my perception.

    I also don't want to hurt him as he and my mother are my sole providers and they don't need additional stress and worries about me.
  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 1,715 Scope online community team
    edited February 7
    @Gnu89 It's not an easy conversation to have, but it's good that you've given it a go. I think it's hard for some parents to ever see their grown-up children as adults, but that's just my anecdotal experience!

    Maybe you could speak to your therapist about it some time, they'd might be able to help you talk through some ways of talking about things with your parents in a way that isn't too overwhelming for any of you. 
    Rosie (she/her)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Gnu89
    Gnu89 Community member Posts: 260 Pioneering
    @Rosie_Scope Yes, I'll bring it up tomorrow.  Thank you for your support.  ❤️

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