Self Worth — Scope | Disability forum
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Self Worth

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Ada
Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
edited March 14 in Coffee lounge
I choose not to be a wife again. I never choose Never to be a Mother or Grandma or I could have been a Great Grandma. That choice was taken from me at age twenty. 

I was Good at my work. I first did volunteer as a kid  at a then named “” mental hospital “” then went into nursing then managed x3 nursing homes. I had self worth even though it wasn’t the career I wanted as a child. 

Then after stopping work I spent a few years doing charity work with rescuing dogs from the dog meat trade abroad and puppy farming in the uk. I had self worth until it really effected my mental health with it being so heartbreaking. 

I felt useless but at least I could sit nursing my rapidly decreasing physical health by knitting for charities. But a couple of years ago I had to stop knitting the one thing left I could do. Because the pain in my wrist and fingers got to much. 

Now Every single day is the same. The same as yesterday the same as a year ago the same as it will be tomorrow. 
A complete nothing. Doing nothing for anyone. So no self worth what so ever left. 

what do you do when your mental illnesses and physical illnesses drains you completely off any self worth. 

Is there any way back 



Comments

  • Beaver79
    Beaver79 Community member, Community Co-Production Group, Scope Member Posts: 20,051 Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 14
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    Hello @Ada You do have self worth you look after Betty and MR. Neither of them would manage without you. You also look after your Landladies dogs what would she do without you? It must have taken a great deal of courage to join this Community and join in with us. You did it. I greatly value you as a friend. What would we do without you? Always remember you are enough just as you are. x
  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
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    Bless you @Beaver79 Your pretty amazing xx
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    @Ada echoing Beaver79, you also spend your time to join in and check on our community members! 

    In my opinion, self-worth doesn't equate to what you have done or what you could do but about who you are and to have done so many lovely things, for so many people and charities, because it is who you are, it tells me you should definitely value yourself <3 
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
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    Thank you @Hannah_Scope your very kind.
    In my world I am useful to have around.
    But I wish I could still do something for me. Like work. Or at the least find the emotional strength to help the charities I was helping. But to see so many dogs left behind to become food.  Was to much. And if you knew what they did to them first. Well it’s beyond wickedness it’s right out of a horror film. 
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    It is horrible. My friend rescued a dog from the meat trade, and he was the sweetest thing. 

    I can understand wanting to have something for yourself, I've been there. Please don't do something at the extent of your health <3 
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Grinchy
    Grinchy Community member Posts: 1,855 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hey @Ada, you are a lovely person inside and out, i always enjoy your postings, you have helped me with listening to my story, which is not nice but you were there for me
  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 14
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    Thank you loads @Grinchy  And Everyone.

     although I’m embarrassed as I wasn’t fishing for compliments. And I am truly very great full. Your all been so kind. 
     
    I was asking for help Advice. I’ve no idea what but I have to have purpose to be alive. A part from being useful to my landlords having their dogs or to my mr. Because he doesn’t get pestered by the job centre so is free to stay in bed all day. 
    My Betty loves and needs me and I her just as much. 
    But is this really it. To ill for purpose. I have to be useful and give myself but I have nothing left to give. 
    No Im not depressed so don’t worry. 
    If anything I’m just scratching my head x


  • Zimba
    Zimba Community member Posts: 1,873 Pioneering
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    Hi @Ada all I can say is you have accomplished so much and you sound like a very giving and caring person. I also agree with Hannah self worth isn't based on what you have it’s who you are. I to love gardening and can’t wait for drier weather although I’m not very good at it, I love watching the plants grown it’s me a sense of new beginnings.
  • Beaver79
    Beaver79 Community member, Community Co-Production Group, Scope Member Posts: 20,051 Disability Gamechanger
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    I understand that you want to do something that is just for you and to give you your own purpose. You do your seedlings weather permitting, are you interested in writing or keeping a chart or diary of what wild life you see in your garden each  day or when you take Betty for a walk? I know you are not able to knit anymore but would you be able to crochet dog coats or blankets for rescue centres? If I think of anything else I will let you know. Take care. x  
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Community member Posts: 7,231 Disability Gamechanger
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    @Ada
    So sorry you’re feeling this way but I want to echo what others have said, you’re a truly lovely woman with a  great heart and empathy for everyone on here. I truly value you as a close friend and you mean lots to me. 

    There’s loads of times I feel so worthless due to my past relationship and feeling **** about myself, but I know I’m getting there with the help of you and everyone else on this community.

    Im sorry I haven’t got great words off wisdom but I do love you lots❤️
  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
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    Thank you @Zimba for your ideas Im sure I will feel better soon.

    and @Lou67 you are so lovely as you always are. and I luv you all loads. 

    @Beaver79 I can’t use my hands for work like crocheting it’s different then planting. Just to painful. Writing on here is painful.
    But you know how Much I hang on the words off my Scope sisters. I’ve still got loads of doggie jumpers I’ve knitted. I used them to send abroad when they were floods. But I don’t yet know where to send what’s left. Especially as I know I can’t knit more.  
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 50,326 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @ada there's nothing left for me to say as everyone has said it all. I think your a very strong lady to jump all those hurdles you had thrown at you throughout your life. Your little dog loves you to bits and I'm sure the man in your life appreciates you too. 
    Everyone loves you on here and we all look farward to your posts. 

  • Lou67
    Lou67 Community member Posts: 7,231 Disability Gamechanger
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,639 Disability Gamechanger
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    @Ada couldn't read and run, scope would not be the same without you simple as that.
    Take care x
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
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    Thank you All off You. 
    Thank you again lovely Scope sisters 
    and thank you lovely @woodbine Your a darling hope you and your lovely Mrs are doing well. X
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,103 Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 14
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    Trying to be practical, I was also going to suggest crochet like @Beaver79 - my son's wife self taught herself from Youtube videos. I also used to knit, & had to give up some years ago too.
    Have you looked at the K9 Rescue charity? They might be grateful for your doggie jumpers, if not here in the UK, then in Eastern Europe, especially Macedonia: https://k9-rescue.org.uk/our-work/ I could be way off, but think they're comparitively close here in the UK in the Forest of Dean. Just mentioned their work recently work in the 'How is your day going thread.'


  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
    edited March 15
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    Above Thought I was posting in how was your day. 

    Thank you @chiarieds
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 4,081 Scope online community team
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    Hey @ada, the comments have been deleted, not to worry. :)

    I can only echo what others have said here, you've already done so much for others, but I totally understand the need for wanting to do more. 
      You've said what you can't do now, but think about what you CAN do, like planting wonderful flowers! I'm so sorry those oiks demolished your lilies, but think about the enjoyment others must've got from seeing and smelling them?  And I'm sure people will love whatever you choose to plant this year. :) 
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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    Opinions expressed are solely my own.
    Neurodivergent.
  • Ada
    Ada Scope Member Posts: 14,134 Disability Gamechanger
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