Hi, my name is vikki66!

vikki66

Hi, signing up to join a community of people who might be able to help me, or maybe I could help somebody else.

Hope everybody has had a good day

Jimm_Scope

Hello @vikki66, welcome to the community 😊 It's here for people just like yourself to join up and do exactly what you say. Ask for advice or support and to both give advice or support. Are there any topics you're actually quite interested in discussing, or have experiences you'd like to share?

I am having a good day thank you, I hope you are too 🙂

vikki66

Hi @Jimm_Scope,

Currently I’m really struggling. My 14 year old (ASD/ADHD/ dyslexia/ dyscalcula) hasn’t been at school for a year, and as time has gone on he’s now not wanting to leave the house. I sympathise with anybody whose kid is similarly struggling. His dad (separated) recently had organ transplants, after a few horrible years. Grateful to all those wonderful people who are organ donors. Also families who lose a loved one, but who allow donations at what is a terrible time for them - ❤️ to them.

I’ve become really isolated over the last few years due to things related to what I’ve mentioned, and I didn’t appreciate just how much being isolated can exacerbate your illness - until it happened to me.

I’m interested in anything anybody wants to talk about, but feel a bit unsure how to reply in a meaningful way that doesn’t upset anybody. I’ve never been in a forum, but I hope I’ll pick up how it works as I go.

Thank you for your reply.

Albus_Scope

Heya @vikki66 it's a warm welcome from me too.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling isolated, I know it's very easy to do and creeps up on you. But we're all here for friendship and support if you need us. The coffee lounge is a great place to just chat away with no pressure. 😊

Lola_Scope

Hi @vikki66, It's easy to become isolated when there are significant challenges to deal with. When we're busy dealing with what's in front of us it's so easy to overlook the toll it's taking on our overall wellbeing. Welcome to the community. I hope it provides some of the connection and support you're looking for. If you want specific advice or support as a parent, there is also an area of the community specifically for families.☺️

vikki66

Thanks @Albus_Scope - coffee lounge sounds very nice indeed.

vikki66

Hi @Lola_Scope, thanks - I will have a look in the families area.

Jemima_Scope

Hi @vikki66

Welcome to the online community :)

vikki66

Hi @Jemima_Scope

Thanks for your welcome, and hope you’re having a good day.

Doris_Scope

Hi @vikki66

It can be so difficult when you have a child that is unable to attend school and then is unable to leave the house.  Your concern for him means that you might be afraid to leave him for any length of time.  This can be one of the reasons that parents become so isolated.

I am sure many people have already told you that looking after yourself is so important. When coping with these types of situations, it is even more true. 

I am glad you have decided to join the online community.  Again, it is important to keep talking.  There is no pressure to talk about the difficulties you are experiencing on here. There are also lots of people who will support you if you do.

As well as talking on this forum, you might find it useful to join the Not Fine in School Facebook group.  This is for families and carers of people in very similar circumstances to you and is a closed group.  They may be able to support you in a different way.

I hope this helps and I hope that talking on here also helps.

@Doris_Scope

ems73xxx

Hello vikki66 I'm new too!!

ems73xxx

Lola_Scope

Welcome @ems73xxx great to have you as part of the community.

vikki66

Hi @Doris_Scope,

Thanks for your message. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the fear of leaving kids alone and thus becoming more isolated yourself.

It’s astounding the number of people (including family members) who have chipped in to tell me that I’m ruining my son’s future by not forcing him to go to school. Tbh I think I did that for so long (because schools seem obsessed above all with attendance) that this contributed to outright refusal to leave the house.

I’m not on Facebook, though the group sounds great.

I sympathise greatly with anybody in a similar situation.

Thanks for your kindness, and the suggestions.

Doris_Scope

@vikki66

That is so true. Other's always seem to know better. You know your son better than anyone else and it is always worth having that running mantra in your head - "it is not that he won't go to school, he can't go to school". When others are giving you information that is unhelpful, just think that thought, and know that you are doing the right thing for your child at this present time

@Doris_Scope

vikki66

Hi @ems73xxx

Thanks for your message, and hope you’re having a good day.

I was nervous to join something new, but people have been friendly and reached out, which is lovely.

vikki66

@Doris_Scope

Thank you, I needed some reassurance today. My sister has just had another little dig via text, so I’m going to try to start saying “Can’t not Won’t”to myself 🥰