Sex and CP — Scope | Disability forum
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Sex and CP

Hi
im looking for advice, I was  recently in a  relationship with able person but split up two weeks ago. I feel this is my fault as his told me that when we had sex I didnt do anything apat from just lay there... in October 2015 I had a  spinal fusion due to my  CP. His told me he never wants sex with me again  :'( is there any aids I can use to help me when having sex?

Comments

  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    I'm sorry to hear your relationship has had some difficulties - but also, it really isn't your fault regarding the sex end of things!  Plenty of people with reduced range of movement have perfectly happy and enjoyable sex lives - it does take two people, for sure, but that doesn't mean you both have to have a full and flexible range of movement.  It's a meeting of minds before any physical connections and if he's making comments like that, it doesn't sound like he's able to engage in that bit first.  Which is not your fault, at all.

    With regards aids - sure, there are; many sex toys can be attached, rigged, strapped and propped....as can you ;)  It all depends what sort of sex you're into, and what kind of encounter you're looking for.  There's a whole range of different things you can experiment with, from using wedge/cylinder/shaped cushions to help you get into a comfortable position and take some weight/pressure off, to full-on swing-type arrangements *ahem*.  I once had the benefit of meeting a gentleman at a conference that I had attended who had, inspired by his wife's spinal injury and subsequent inability to move freely or support her weight, built a piece of furniture that was a bit like a moving hammock...anyway, sounds very complicated when I try to describe it but basically, yes there are things out there and there's ways and means.  More important is finding a partner who is in tune with you and all the uniqueness of your whole person, rather than being focused on a style of sex which no longer works for your body.  I am sorry your recent relationship has broken down, but the sex sounds like the least of it, and it's not okay for that to have been focused on - it's not a failure or a failing on your part, it's just a difference.  I have a lower body mobility issue and can't do acrobatic super bendy swap-all-the-positions swinging from the ceiling sex; sometimes I cannot easily support my body weight.  It doesn't mean it's off the menu, it's just a case of changing the menu.  I wish you the very best of luck and I'm so sorry that someone has made you feel so rubbish about it all.  Not fair or okay at all. 
    - Gill 
  • teamonkey
    teamonkey Member Posts: 3 Listener
    The aid you need is a creative partner who cares and loves you.  Not a **** like that idiot. Best wishes.
  • CPfighter1990
    CPfighter1990 Member Posts: 14 Listener
    Where can you get those aids from?
  • TheArrow
    TheArrow Member Posts: 27 Connected
    AnnSummers can provide you with Sex toys/stimulations in discreet packaging. As regards cushions you can obtain these from amazon :)
  • CPfighter1990
    CPfighter1990 Member Posts: 14 Listener
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 2,922

    Scope community team

    Hi @CPfighter1990 I wholeheartedly agree with @teamonkey.

    Really sorry you have had to experience a narrow-minded, self-absorbed person like that. 
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

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  • cupidpsyche
    cupidpsyche Posts: 76 Member
    Hi
    im looking for advice, I was  recently in a  relationship with able person but split up two weeks ago. I feel this is my fault as his told me that when we had sex I didnt do anything apat from just lay there... in October 2015 I had a  spinal fusion due to my  CP. His told me he never wants sex with me again  :'( is there any aids I can use to help me when having sex?

  • cupidpsyche
    cupidpsyche Posts: 76 Member
    Sorry for hearing. You can find good and  decent man. You can find from online dating sites. Hope you will spend your good sex life. Best of luck!

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