Feelings of helplessness — Scope | Disability forum
If we become concerned about you or anyone else while using one of our services, we will act in line with our safeguarding policy and procedures. This may involve sharing this information with relevant authorities to ensure we comply with our policies and legal obligations.

Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.

Feelings of helplessness

System Posts: 759 Scope online community team
This discussion was created from comments split from: Hi, my name is SunnyDee!.


  • SunnyDee
    SunnyDee Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. In particular for the swift response from
    Steve51. You’re an angel.

    When I joined and posted straight away, I had just been left by 6 paramedics following a hip and shoulder dislocation (I have EDS joint hypermobility type). It was the second major dislocation and ambulance visit in 2 days, followed by another last night. 

    I must admit that on Friday night I’d never felt so alone and worthless. My pain was out of control and while my children were safely asleep, making the decision to stay home and not go to hospital (causes more problems than it’s worth), being left by the paramedics and carer to myself, I’d never felt so low. 

    I’m so grateful to have found this space and to everyone on it for sharing their journey. 

    I’d greatly appreciate any tips or suggestions on struggling with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness when adjusting to life with a disability and chronic pain. I’d also be very grateful to connect with any physically disabled parents with young children. Especially as I’m houseblund and isolated from the school community.

    There is a point in fighting on, isn’t there?!

    Thanks and sending hope for a peaceful evening to all x
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @SunnyDee

    You’re very very welcome ??

         “Yes Yes Yes”

    I can say too all of your questions posted.

    “Where can I start first”

    Yes I do have feelings off "less ness” from time to time but I just look at my children and I think “How Can” I leave them!!!!! 

    Please let me know know where you want me to start??????

  • SunnyDee
    SunnyDee Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thank you so much for being there. 

    You’re right, most of the time I couldn’t imagine ever leaving my beautiful babies behind; but what happens when after a happy and successful career and all your life plans are ripped apart overnight? When all you’re left with is your own little family - me as a perfectionist and unashamed control freak!! - what do I do when all I am creating is stress, chaos, uncertainty, fear and confusion in my little ones, farming them off to friends almost every day of the week and being the most enormous burden to my hard working husband who I know loves me but whose career is finally taking off? 

    I’ve been trying so hard to adjust so positively to sudden chronic illness, destroyed life plans, being housebound and even losing the ability to self-propel when I ever go out. (Basement flat living + wheelchair = not v fun!). I’m a stubborn, strong woman but genuinely feel my family is so much better off without me, especially when reflecting on how far I’ve gone downhill since last year and above all how diverse my range of degenerative conditions are that no gp or consultant knows what to do with me. 

    Is it selfish to beg for strength or kinder to my family to let them live and prosper in peace?

    Sending love, thanks, and good wishes for a peaceful night as far as possible. 

  • SunnyDee
    SunnyDee Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Please, may I also say with the greatest respect, that every comment I make here is done with the utmost awareness that I am one of the lucky ones; that there are so many more people fighting (and winning!) or struggling with such greater battles than me.

    Please accept in advance my most sincere apologies if my silly problems seem frivolous in comparison to yours.

    I know that I am so lucky in many ways and would never take this for granted.

    I operate in the belief that there will always be people in greater or lesser positions than ourselves. Please bear with my singular fight with this hopelessness right now, and I hope in time that with help from this wonderful community (and my own personal angel Steve51!!) I will be in a position to share the benefit of my experience when I make it through this dark patch. 

    This is too shall pass. Please hold on xxx
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @SunnyDee

    Good Mourning Thank you very much for post’s!!!!!

    Yes mine are getting older by the day.

    My lad has nearly moved out.

    He is only 5mins up the road mind you he does come home ? for his tea after a full day’s work.

    My daughter is at university learning to be a midwife.

    Yes things have changed “big time

    But yes things could have been 100 times worse!!!

    If mine had been 10/20yrs earlier then things would have been “critical” 

    Yes I’m in the same boat ?‍♀️ (Ship) as you: house /electric wheelchair/stairlift bound.

    No family interaction I live in my bedroom 24/7, battling my chronic pain.

    We need to help each other if that is possible????

    Yes I am exactly the same “very very”

    I had worked as a manager for some years so that helps me stay on top off everything.

    Please please try to stay upbeat with my as we need to be there for each other ??????

    It is better to be strong and prove everyone wrong as I am constantly knocked down!!!!!!

    Please please hang in there with me!!!!

    “We can do more together”

      “Move Mountains”

    Please please let me know if there’s anything that I can Help/Support you with????


Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.