Things to keep in mind — Scope | Disability forum
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Things to keep in mind

Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,576 Scope online community team

As always, the online community hosts many difficult conversations. Some of these topics will involve complexities that, when combined with heightened emotions, can easily lead to meanings and intentions being misinterpreted or misread.

I am posting this as a reminder that our aim is to offer a safe and supportive place to all disabled people and their families.

I know that sometimes you will stumble across a conversation that upsets you, or you’ll find yourself involved in a discussion where you feel picked on or challenged and your first instinct might be to rush to make a reply. To that end, here are some thoughts I’d like us all to consider when using the community:

Before you respond to a post think:

o    Am I feeling preoccupied, anxious, inadequate, physically uncomfortable and tired? Am I making assumptions?

o    Do I feel a strong urge to be right rather than looking to offer advice, help find solutions, support and empathise with the other person?

o    Am I looking at the post from my point of view, rather than the other person’s?

o    Is it worth engaging and potentially making a bad situation worse? Should I step away and perhaps report the post?

Sometimes being available and showing you are listening is all the support that people need. 

Accurate information is vital. But it’s important to remember that people not only reach out in times of need, but also in times of great anxiety or frustration. Tact, tone and understanding are important. Often people want to feel heard just as much as they want to hear the truth.

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  • Wini1960
    Wini1960 Member Posts: 130 Pioneering
    Thank you Adrian I have rejoined Scope again after three years when I was applying for PIP and asked questions. I found the experience quite despairing as I was looking for some support in the end I had to turn to the Samaritans as I was quite suicidal. If I am causing any trouble please, do let me know as it is never my intention to hurt or make anyone uncomfortable but to emphasize for others and vica versa. 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,576 Scope online community team
    edited June 2020
    I'm sorry to read you were feeling that way @Wini1960. I am glad though that you were able to reach out and speak to Samaritans. I genuinely believe that the vast majority of people come to the community because they're looking either for support for themselves, or to support others.

    How is your PIP claim going?
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  • Wini1960
    Wini1960 Member Posts: 130 Pioneering
    Adrian_Scope hello Adrian I will need a review next year February. I got the enhanced PIP. I have been having been doing regular physio exercises until my physiotherapist can meet again and a talk therapist. I am doing ok. Autumn/winter is by far the worse time for me but I'm learning to take each day as it comes.

  • woodbine
    woodbine Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,721 Disability Gamechanger
    As always sound advice from @Adrian_Scope
    Be extra nice to new members.
  • innocent21
    innocent21 Posts: 35 Connected
    edited June 2021
    I agree. Sometimes it's better to say nothing, than to prove how "in the right" you are. As they say in russia - A person who asks too many questions will receive one answer they never asked for. If you can sense the tone and subtext from plain text and the culture of this forum, then it'll be more apparent of what topics, questions and responses to avoid.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 16,359 Disability Gamechanger
    Good reminder and something for us all to bear in mind 

    I'm often guilty of impulse reaction rather than going away and thinking before responding 


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