just want someone to read this — Scope | Disability forum
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just want someone to read this

Merclondon Member Posts: 26 Connected
edited October 2020 in Autism and neurodiversity
I’m a single mum of a child with autism but I struggle , I struggle to cope , I struggle to understand and I feel so alone , don’t get me wrong I’m surrounded by family & friends but they don’t have my life , their kids are doing the typical kids things , my child don’t do that , I spend my life looking at families and wishing that was me , please don’t think I don’t love my child because I do and I hate to use this phrase but it’s unfair , just have to say all this because I don’t have anyone who understands, everyday I try to say to myself I’m lucky to have a child as I know some people can’t have children and yes I’m blessed but it’s so tough , right now I feel like I’m the only one on the planet , if that makes sense , it feels like a right lonely place right now but I know I’m not alone with feeling like this I just not spoke to anyone who actually feels the same as me , thank u for reading this 


  • woodbine
    woodbine Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,760 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Merclondon how are you this evening ? It must be very difficult for you and perhaps more so as things are at the moment, I think many parents spend time comparing their kids/families to others.
    Just remember if you need to get stuff out of your system that scope is a great place to do that.
    Be extra nice to new members.
  • Merclondon
    Merclondon Member Posts: 26 Connected
    thank you for replying , my life was like this before covid so being isolated is no different for me but I’m glad I made the first step to posting on here 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,478 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Merclondon - whilst no-one here has all the answers, there's an awful lot of understanding how difficult it can be to have a problem/disability, or have any family member with one. As a parent, I think it's even more difficult to have a child with a problem, as you feel for them so much, & would rather go through it yourself.
    You do also need support for you in order to help you battle on, & I do hope in part the lovely members here can help.
    You might also try the National Autistic Society: https://www.autism.org.uk/      which has an online community, where you might get in touch with other parents.   
    There's also Young Minds: https://youngminds.org.uk     which has a parents helpline. Please see: https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/#parents-helpline    where you can call for free on 0808 802 5544 from 9:30am to 4pm, Monday to Friday
    Meanwhile do please use this forum at any time. Hope this helps. :)
  • Merclondon
    Merclondon Member Posts: 26 Connected
    Thank you for all the replies , I have contacted the autism society and have read some useful stuff , my son won’t attend any clubs or groups so he is very isolated and then there is more pressure on me to take him places , I would love to chat to parents who are going through the same thing 
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,400 Scope online community team
    Hi @Merclondon and thank you for telling us so honestly how you are feeling.  I appreciate that must have been hard but  it will let us all you offer support to hopefully help things get a little better.  

    I'm not a mum and I don't have anyone close to me who has autism but reading your post I got a strong sense of what it must feel like in your position.  I got the conflict you feel between loving your son but also wanting to be like other families.  I got that you feel lonely and isolated and like no one else understands.  I also got that you want to speak to others about how it really feels just to you know you aren't alone and these thoughts are shared by other mums and dads too.  

    So let's work from here  :)  Have you looked for any parent support groups local to you?  If you need any help doing this but don't want to share where you live, please email us at [email protected] and we can do some research for you.

    The links @chiarieds mentioned are good and I'm glad to hear you have contacted the autistic society.  

    Also, I wondered if you had watched the Louis Theroux - Extreme Love Autism documentary?  I realise it's no replacement for actually talking to someone else but many of the parents in it speak about the challenges you are experiencing so it might offer some relief.

    Lastly, you always have us and I want to assure you that you are doing brilliant job and the feelings you have are completely natural.  Try not to be too hard on yourself.  Your son is very lucky to have you  <3 

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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 16,456 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi just wanted to say I have read your post and you have come to the right lace. There are lots of members here who have the same challenges of dealing with this situation and I hoe some of them reach out to you

    We are always here for support even if its just to vent and tell us how you are feeling
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 9,644 Scope online community team
    Welcome to the community @Merclondon :) Thank you for sharing your thoughts so candidly. We're not here to judge, and I'm sure that many parents have felt the same. We have a Parents and Carers category too, which you might like to scroll through. 

    How are you feeling today? 
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