Difficult or is it me? — Scope | Disability forum
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Difficult or is it me?

woodbine
woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,226 Disability Gamechanger
Is it just me or are some members of this forum really difficult to deal with? I try my hardest to be tolerant and respectful to others but sometimes I feel as though I don't get that back. I honestly don't know, some people seem to be so easily "offended" I sometimes feel like I'm walking a tightrope.
Maybe everything's just "getting" to me, and if I have unwittingly offended anyone I am genuinely sorry.
Perhaps the situation we all find ourselves in is shortening my fuse? If that's the case then perhaps I should step away from Scope for a breather?

John x
Be extra nice to new members.
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Comments

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 28,627 Disability Gamechanger
    I actually couldn't agree with you more! Infact, i think i may be forced to take another long break from here very very soon!
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,226 Disability Gamechanger
    @poppy123456 I'm glad its just not me ! (I might even go back to our old stomping ground)  :)
    Be extra nice to new members.
  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Member Posts: 459 Pioneering
    Hi @woodbine and @poppy123456, I fully understand what you are both saying and I also got upset occasionally with some people who didn't seem to accept my good will!!
    Now I reply to offer encouragement if I can and simply turn a blind to any negative comments! I just don't bother to reply to people if they forget to be nice! 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 15,297 Disability Gamechanger
    @woodbine @poppy123456

    Understand your frustration at times and dont think either if you should leave 

    The trouble is some people just dont like what we say even though it's the right advice and they read the tone of the message incorrectly 

    You both are valued on here by more people than you know and shouldn't let the few bad eggs put you off or stop helping so many others 

    I know it's a thankless task sometimes when you devote so much of your own time 

    Some people ask the same questions in many different ways which then makes you feel your advice has been disregarded 

    I think admin need to be a bit closer to this and people making attacks should be removed 

    Please dont give up 
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Member Posts: 5,514 Disability Gamechanger
    Poppy we just clash and I am sorry about that you don't have to leave i will just not comment  and woodbine people eith different conditions take things a different way  I was  just trying to help  nobody needs to leave  when Pete start talking about corona virus its a touchy subject   it will all be ok I don't want any one to leave 
     
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Member Posts: 5,514 Disability Gamechanger
    When people not pete my phone needs sorting out  
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,736 Disability Gamechanger
    I keep seeing threads about people being offended lately but missing the originals...

    As others have said, it's just the nature of this particular forum subject that will mean some of the members get easily offended or take things in the wrong way.  I spend most of my life on another forum but am much more careful about anything I post on here!

    What does amuse me is that it generally seems to be the more erm 'experienced' members taking offense, rather than those of us that get generically branded as millennial snowflakes in the media!  :D
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,614 Disability Gamechanger
    edited January 2021
    @OverlyAnxious I think the “snowflake” brand for our generation is more for in real life, like the workplace etc, as online we are used to the massive abuse that you get on the internet, especially online gaming. I might be wrong though?

    Personally I think you need to have a thick skin to post on any online forum, this one is no exception although it is milder than most I have been on.

    I have been offended by this forum myself - and not by the people who you’d think but just people posting innocently - but I choose not to rise to it.

    Just by its nature it will attract many different people from many different backgrounds with many different opinions and attitudes to life and these are likely to clash in some form or another. I have been offended by content on this forum in the past but prefer not to rise to it.

    Like you @OverlyAnxious I tend to be careful with what I post on here as this forum is a bit more “left” (can’t think of a better word to describe it) than most forums I post on so I tend to restrain what I say but I apologise if I have offended anyone in the past.
  • Cressida
    Cressida Member Posts: 976 Connected
    @woodbine, @poppy123456, @chiarieds . You all have the patience of saints. You are very much appreciated on her.e I do wonder how you manage to stay posting on some occasions but please be aware the majority of users appreciate everything you do. Happy new year to you all. 


  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,396 Pioneering
    Hi @woodbine, @poppy123456
                                                         How are you? I am really sorry that you feel as though you need to take a step away, I would urge you not too. You are both brilliant and the advice that you give is informative and I find, always well communicated. It can be difficult, sometimes people don't always want to hear what the advice is and depending on their individual situation may react in a way that is not appropriate. I know I shared here on the community that I wanted to join the army but due to my disability I can't. A fellow member informed me that I couldn't, not because I was disabled, but because I am women. I chose to ignore this because, women do serve in the Armed Forces, so I suppose sometimes it's also about people's understanding and knowledge of facts and then what is opinion. I hope that this makes sense and though you must do what is right for you, I would strongly encourage you to stay, you are such valued members of the community. I would also like to take this opportunity to apologies for any offence I may have caused, I genuinely, like most on here, would not have meant for this. We are all different and that's a good thing, but we must respect each other and look out for each other, now so more than ever. Thank you.  
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Member Posts: 5,514 Disability Gamechanger
    If you know you have upset someone  wther you meant it or not goes along  way I am on four other forums under different user names 

    This is the first one thsts been like this yes people clash but to constantly have a go or constantly correcting people oh I dont know I am at a loss 
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 6,797

    Scope community team

    Hello everyone

    I hope you're all as well as you can be, despite the difficult start we've had to 2021.

    Some of you may have noticed that the community team weren't online as often as usual over the Christmas and New Year period. We were working reduced hours during this time, but we're now back to covering our usual shifts. This means that at least one member of the team will be available from 8am to 8pm every weekday, and from 10am to 6pm every weekend. 

    I'm sure many of you have felt, as we have, that there seems to have been an increase in conflict on the community recently. We understand that this is an incredibly challenging time for you all, and some of you might be feeling particularly unsettled or worried, but it's more important than ever that we all pull together to support each other. The vast majority of threads demonstrate your ability to offer support and advice to each other with great kindness and without judgement, and I think this is what we all need more of moving into 2021.

    If you're struggling to cope with the new lockdown, or there's anything else that you're finding difficult, please feel free to reach out to the community team. You're welcome to email us on [email protected], and we'll do our best to help. 

    If you see a post or comment that you believe breaks our community guidelines, please report it using the 'flag' function so that a member of the community team can review it. We can then take action if necessary. You're never obligated to respond to something a user has said, so please feel free to step away from a thread if you don't feel as though a constructive conversation is being had.

    I also wanted to briefly address the topic of incorrect information on the community. The community guidelines state that all members should:
    • Always check that information you get is correct and appropriate.
    • Not present opinions as facts.
    • Share only trusted resources.
    We sometimes get requests to remove comments, or parts of comments, that contain inaccurate information or advice. Although we do remove incorrect information on occasion, we also believe there is sometimes merit to leaving these comments up. So long as the information is corrected by at least one of you, or a member of the community team, we think that those reading the thread in the future might find it helpful to see that a piece of information has been debunked. That being said, we do ask that all members do their best to check that the information they are giving is correct, avoid presenting opinion as fact, and provide evidence from a trusted resource where possible. 

    Cher posted this on another discussion, but I just wanted to highlight the following section from the Things to keep in mind post: 
    Before you respond to a post, think:
    • Am I feeling preoccupied, anxious, inadequate, physically uncomfortable and tired? Am I making assumptions?
    • Do I feel a strong urge to be right rather than looking to offer advice, help find solutions, support and empathise with the other person?
    • Am I looking at the post from my point of view, rather than the other person’s?
    • Is it worth engaging and potentially making a bad situation worse? Should I step away and perhaps report the post?
    We'll be dealing with individual situations as soon as we can. In the meantime, please refresh yourself on the rules outlined in our community guidelines
    Online Community Coordinator

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Did you receive a helpful reply to your discussion? Fill out our feedback form and let us know about it.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,270 Disability Gamechanger
    I wasn't going to comment on this thread, but I would like to say a very heartfelt thank you to @Cressida for such kind words; they really help. My thanks also to @Cress & my best wishes to you both for a Happy New Year. People like your good selves are what make this a great community.
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 28,627 Disability Gamechanger
    I wasn't going to comment either but i just wanted to say, i would only say sorry for something i've done wrong. This time, i've not done anything wrong so i don't have anything to say sorry for or anyone to say sorry to. If you're expecting this from me then you'll have a very long wait.

    I just wanted to thank those that have made lovely comments @Cress @Cressida @WestHam06 @Oxonlady Thanks to you all for those lovely kind words!
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,234 Pioneering
    I’m so thankful I found this forum I really am . The fact people have taken time out of there lives to respond to me means a lot . This site is far more helpful than citizens advice . I wouldn’t of been able to get threw my pip application , my employment tribunal the fact when I feel so anxious I come on here and it distracts me and I have made friends on here . Xx
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 5,346 Disability Gamechanger
    I like this forum too, in fact I would not go on any other having had a very bad experience on one before. Of course the forum is the people who post and this forum wouldn’t be the same without the key posters who keep it all together, they’ve been mentioned above and I also appreciate their input which is often very helpful, kind, light hearted and informative.
    i wish everyone a very happy new year and may you have peace in your hearts.

    “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”


    ― Dalai Lama XIV
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 1,651 Connected
    I'm NOT a "Snowflake", I've never read the Guardian and never will, I think the fact that the left get all upset about everything is PC gone mad and that's being kind. I wouldn't use the Daily Fail as Toilet paper either.

  • dolfrog
    dolfrog Member Posts: 441 Pioneering
    edited March 2021
    Not mentioning any names, there are some who post on Scope who from my perspective and experiences are lacking a real understanding of many issues, and only repeat the same nonsense in their posts.
    I have added these individuals to my "Ignore List" (The Ignore List is an option for all members which is included in their Profile options list) The means that I no longer see their posts when i log into the Scope forums
    [Removed by moderator - personal attack]
    In more recent times I only visit Scope once a week or may be once a month to see if their are any threads that catch my interest, such is the high level of stress some can cause by their lack of understanding.  
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