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The funeral that isn't a funeral

woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,516 Disability Gamechanger
Morbid subject I know, but have any of you seen the TV ads for "pure cremation" and other similar ones?
After much thought I have told senior management that this is what I want when the time comes, they collect you from hospital or wherever, arrange your cremation with no service and then send your ashes to you loved one.
The cost is around £1,400 as opposed to in excess of £4,500.
I would rather my family saved £3000.
"Putting a child into care, isn't caring for a child" (T.Rhattigan)

Replies

  • leeCalleeCal Member Posts: 3,703 Disability Gamechanger
    I must admit the cost saving is high and quite tempting. 
  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 11,201 Disability Gamechanger
    I have seen the ad but didnt take much notice 

    Just from my own experience my dad donated his body to medical science and they do pretty much the same apart from they can use the body for a certain period think its up to avmax 3 years but once they have done they cremate and either you can attend or have the ashes or have them scattered in garden of remembrance 

    Personally I found this very hard as I wanted to say my goodbye but respected my dads wishes 

    All I would say is to think of the wishes of those left behind and their grieving process 
  • vikingqueenvikingqueen Member Posts: 467 Pioneering
         It is exactly what I want when I shuffle off this mortal coil, my family are quite happy with my wishes. I came across them when David Bowie died and that's what he opted for, good idea considering the amount of media frenzy his funeral would have caused. They only use to be about £800 but then people jumped on the bandwagon.! I've  told my 2 to have a knees up with the money they have saved. I think you have to have a certain approach to death, some would be horrified with the thought of not having a big send off, me I just like the idea of saving money  ;)
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Posts: 4,363 Disability Gamechanger
    I want to go in a wicker coffin with flowers and I want myself and everyone else dressed in pink 
  • woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,516 Disability Gamechanger
    Senior management thinks I should discuss it with the kids, but I said no it's my decision, but I will write a letter and sign it so they know it was my wish.

    I think there is an element of funerals being for those left behind, but for once in my life i'm going to be selfish and have my final wish.
    "Putting a child into care, isn't caring for a child" (T.Rhattigan)
  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,203 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm certainly tempted, but not yet. It causes me a certain amount of wicked pleasure (which I'm not normally prone to) to see my son & daughter-in-laws faces when I say I'd like Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' played at my funeral. They can't stand his voice! I couldn't in fact think what I'd like when my daughter-in-law asked (as she certainly has a wicked sense of humour). However, my son's cheap alternative is to throw me in the nearby river! :)
  • vikingqueenvikingqueen Member Posts: 467 Pioneering
          My dad wanted " always look on the bright side of life "  couldn't just  bring myself to do it mainly because the Royal British Legion walked him into the crematorium with banners held high, didn't think they would have appreciated his sense of humour where Monty Python was involved  :)
  • leeCalleeCal Member Posts: 3,703 Disability Gamechanger
    I would have liked ‘how long will I love you’ by Ellie Goulding, which I think would be a beautiful song and sentiment, though perhaps a bit emotional in effect.
  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,203 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sort of with you there @woodbine - I wouldn't discuss it with your children, but would say these are your wishes. I think funerals are awful, & distressing for those 'left behind,' or at least that's how I've felt. Again, personally, I've never had the ashes of a loved one, rather have had them scattered in a garden of remembrance... so hope that's an option.
  • Sandy_123Sandy_123 Member Posts: 1,541 Pioneering
    Yes I've seen the ads for these, they do look a good option to be honest, if cremation is what your doing, certainly cost effective. I'm having buriel shame there's nothing like this for that option.
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Posts: 4,363 Disability Gamechanger
    I have put all my wishes in my will but my children already know I want a celebration of my life rather than morn my death 
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 6,628 Disability Gamechanger
    It’s all a great theory this but the bottom line is that ultimately you’ve no say. You can express your wishes but people can completely disregard them and what exactly are you going to do about that! Have seen it occur so many times I have concluded that the better attitude is to say that I really don’t care. People will do what they do and you can be damn sure someone will find a way to fall out over it no matter what happens. It is, as they say, not my problem. 

    Of course I’ve a clear vision of what I’d like to happen; where; with whom and with which songs etc. Doesn’t matter. I still don’t get a say. 
  • woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,516 Disability Gamechanger
    SM agrees that if thats what i want then thats what I get, if she goes first I will make sure the kids know what I want, she can't make her mind up yet if it's what she wants.
    "Putting a child into care, isn't caring for a child" (T.Rhattigan)
  • vikingqueenvikingqueen Member Posts: 467 Pioneering
           In all honesty I really don't care one way or the other where I end up but I know for a fact my 2 will do as I've asked. It is one subject that has never been off limits in our family . I lost most of  my family, a son  2 brothers and parents before I was 50 so it became lots of questions were asked about them. Death is part of life and should be talked about.
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Posts: 4,363 Disability Gamechanger
    My children helped me with what I I wanted Mike  so at least I die happy  even if it all changes when I am gone but I think my children would respect whst I wanted 
  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,203 Disability Gamechanger
    Perhaps I'm fortunate, but my children will have the benefit of my estate (apart from my current home) in the next few weeks. My son will be able to modernise his home, & have some savings; my daughter will be able to buy her council house, & have a little savings left over too. That's all that I can wish for.....to see them both benefit before I 'pop my clogs.' Doesn't matter one iota after that what happens to me...it's just going to be great to see them both benefit. :)
  • Welshjayne2021Welshjayne2021 Member Posts: 85 Courageous
    Ironically, my dad passed away a year ago from covid 19.  That is exactly what happened to him.  He was taken from the hospital mortuary to the crematorium.  It cost us £3500.00 and he left this world completely own his own.  I am very much in favour of these new simple cremations. No fuss, that’s for me.
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