A sad time for us — Scope | Disability forum
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A sad time for us

woodbine
woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,256 Disability Gamechanger
Sadly Julie's (senior management) mum has today been put on end of life pallative care in hospital, she has had vascular dementia now for around 8 years, when she was admitted to hospital 2 weeks ago the care home informed us that they didn't want her back, they hadn't told us that she had been verbally and physically abusive to the staff and other residents. They also didn't tell us that she had aquired a pressure sore !
I have my fingers crossed that she doesn't pass away on Thursday which is SM 60th birthday (shhh).
Were it not for my MIL I would never have married her wonderful daughter as we had a false start and she put her two penneth in and sorted us out !

She has had an amazing life, leaving school at 15 she became a nursery nurse, then the only female employee in a chain of butchers shops, she then went with her husband to do 3 three year tours while he worked in Africa, at one point she worked for the president of Botswana. 
On their return and at the age of 46 she trained to be a nurse and worked for 20 years in hospitals and care homes nursing the elderly.

She was generous beyond measure, our kids would not have been as well dressed without her help, nor would they have had as many holidays !
This week will be a sad time for us, but we will be happy to know that at last her suffering is over, I wouldn't wish dementia on my worst enemy it's an awful awful disease.

Offering PIP advice to people with epilepsy.

Comments

  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,584 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry to here this @woodbine I have empathy for you and your wife as my mum has dementia which is getting worse its an awful disease 😢 

    My thoughts are with you and your wife and as always here for you if you need to talk 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 10,466 Disability Gamechanger
    You must have mixed feelings about this.....dementia is indeed dreadful, but you remember the amazing person she was before this occurred, so this will be a very sad few days for you both. Thinking about you all, & in my prayers.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,213 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry @woodbine to hear about your mil and my sympathy goes out to you and senior management 

    You will always have your memories of better times with her 

    Thinking of you both take care 
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Member Posts: 452 Pioneering
    Sorry to hear about this @woodbine.
    My Auntie had vascular dementia and it was dreadful watching a previously strong, capable lady become like a ghost, unable even to speak. It did feel like a blessed relief when she passed away because we had already been mourning the loss of the person we once knew. 
    Sorry that your family has to go through this.
    Sending you my best wishes and prayers. 
  • Justcheckingin15
    Justcheckingin15 Member Posts: 182 Pioneering
    Sorry to read this @woodbine, It truly is an awful..long..drawn out disease..that we mourn the person they were....long before they pass
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 5,974

    Scope community team

    I'm sorry to hear this @woodbine. She sounds like a lovely lady, who lived an impressive life full of generosity and caring for others. 
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  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    Ah, I am sorry to hear of your sadness. Your mum in law sounds like a wonderful woman.
    Dementia is such a cruel disease....as are most others, but it really diminishes all of that person  you know.
    But it will never take away all her wonderful achievements and what she did for your family.

    Bless her and bless your whole family.

    Pollyxxxx

  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,256 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you all for your kind words of support, they mean a lot to both of us xx
    Offering PIP advice to people with epilepsy.
  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,380 Pioneering
    I'm really sorry to hear of your sad news @woodbine my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. Thank you.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,222 Disability Gamechanger
    edited June 8
    My own mother died in the late stages of dementia so I know how it changes a person beyond recognition, its heartbreaking. 

    You and your wife have my deepest sympathy.
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,584 Disability Gamechanger
    @woodbine how is your mother in law doing  and hope you and your wife are well and copeing the best way you can 
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Member Posts: 1,968 Pioneering
    Sorry to read about your mother in law its not easy going through it all
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 4,912

    Scope community team

    Thoughts with you @woodbine, it sounds like it must be hard to go through for you all.
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  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,549 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry to read about this. It sounds like she lived a great life and had some very interesting experiences. She also sounds like a very noble person who put others before herself. I have and had family members with dementia so I know how cruel it is. I think that we lose our loved one when they get the disease, when they pass away it's just their body and almost a release for them as we lost them long ago. Sorry I'm not that sensitive with words so that may sound a bit crass. I like how it was put above that we mourn the person long before they pass away. I hope your wife is doing OK.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,256 Disability Gamechanger
    @woodbine how is your mother in law doing  and hope you and your wife are well and copeing the best way you can 
    SM saw her mum today, not good news a matter of days It would seem, hoping it's not tomorrow as SM is 60.
    Offering PIP advice to people with epilepsy.
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,584 Disability Gamechanger
    @woodbine sorry to hear that I hope it doesn't happen on your wife's birthday but I would assume maybe wrongly that it may still have a impact  have you arranged to do nice things for your wife's birthday she is a lucky lady to have you and you to have her its a tough time for both of you 😉 x
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 10,466 Disability Gamechanger
    Oh dear @woodbine - pleased SM saw her Mum again, & hope she doesn't lose her tomorrow.....hope she can enjoy her birthday a little, xx
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,213 Disability Gamechanger
    @woodbine sorry things are not looking on the bright side 

    Wish sm a very happy birthday from me 
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Member
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 5,974

    Scope community team

    Did senior management manage to have an okay birthday @woodbine? I hope you're all feeling okay. 
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