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The Danger Of The Written Word

Teddybear12
Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,347 Pioneering
How funny it is that as easily as lifting someone's spirits you can also devastate them with a few choice words. The courage to 'say something out loud' seems to be exponentially enhanced by a keyboard or touch screen and things hitherto you would never dream of saying when face to face with someone you seem to find yourself blurting out via the power of the worldwide web. But worse than just saying something in the heat of the moment you have broadcast it permanently to everyone you know ( and some you don't depending on how hot you are with your privacy settings). A misplaced exclamation mark can turn a sentence from a joke to an arrogant tease in one person's eyes. Caps locks apparently mean you are aggressive and shouty and woe betide you if you put a comma in the wrong place and completely alter the emphasis of an innocent sentence ! ( sorry to anyone I offended with that overexcited symbol by the way ). It seems that the only way to survive in the internet communication world is to spell everything out very clearly with over detailed definitions at all times and never, ever think that sarcasm works in the written form.   

Comments

  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,797 Disability Gamechanger
    I’ve a nagging suspicion this is another of those passive aggressive threads which is directed to a particular thread or a specific poster. Starting a thread to passive aggressively attack another poster is an attack on a person, named or not, and a breach of the terms of the site.

    I hope I’m wrong and that you were only making the wider philosophical point, which in itself shows that interpretation is a minefield.
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,347 Pioneering
    My post was not directed at anyone. It was something I had discussed with some young people I am advising at the moment. I was high lighting the danger of the written word to them. I posted on here to see what other people thought.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,332 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 14
    I can’t say that I remember being insulted by anyone on this particular forum in the four years that I’ve been a member. I also don’t recognise passive aggressive statements either, eg “well said” or “ great post” would be taken at face value by me I’m afraid. 

    It’s easy to read between the lines and make 2+2 = 5. I tend not to do it, life’s too short. 🙂 

    however it pays to remember that the the pen is mightier than the sword...especially if you have a big pen!

    If everything's coming up roses it's time to call in a gardener

  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Member Posts: 4,698 Disability Gamechanger
    @Teddybear12 very true when reading the written word because people have different minds and different ways of thinking and words can be different to another person than to us and read things in a different way just missing a full stop can change the way something means 
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,347 Pioneering
    @lisathomas50 Thank you. Have you completed your move to your new house? Hope everything is fine. Although when I moved house three years ago it took me nearly as long to unpack boxes as it did to pack them.  Take care.
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,797 Disability Gamechanger
    My post was not directed at anyone. It was something I had discussed with some young people I am advising at the moment. I was high lighting the danger of the written word to them. I posted on here to see what other people thought.
    Well fair enough. I think we learn the hard way that deadpan humour or sarcasm absolutely don’t work on forums. I think saying things you wouldn’t ordinarily say face to face can be a positive in many circumstances but there are occasionally posters who will hide behind a pseudonym to say things they simply would not in any other context. It’s one of the reasons I’m one of those rare beasts who posts under his own name. There is nothing I would say on a forum that I would not say face to face. 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,820 Disability Gamechanger
    To me the written word can be taken out of context mainly because you don't hear the tone of the voice 

    We all know you can say exactly the same thing but it's the tone of voice you use that gives it meaning 

    There is a theory about this can't remember it now but its about the % of what is listened to or taken in eg words , tone , body language and the words are the lowest 
    I have professional experience in HR within public,  private, and charity sectors.  If I can help I will 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,025 Disability Gamechanger
    Having had a bad day on the forum, I'm pleased that your post is just discussing this in general. You say, 'It seems that the only way to survive in the internet communication world is to spell everything out very clearly with over detailed definitions at all times.' Now, when you give factual info, something I'm fairly sure Mike may also identify with, then how can this be misconstrued? Simply because they don't want to hear; think you're wrong, or you've identified something that doesn't quite resonate with them, or didn't resonate with you? So, despite the best will in the world, some people will take umbrage at what may be written, unfortunately. 
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,797 Disability Gamechanger
    Absolutely resonates with me. People who seem to genuinely think you’ve come onto a forum to make some point that they’re wrong rather than trying to help them. The best advice isn’t always the stuff we want to hear.
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,347 Pioneering
    edited November 15
    Hi @chiarieds I am sorry you had such a bad day on the site yesterday. You gave a much more detailed reply with very personal details than I would have been prepared to do. It can be very hard to accept when you are trying to help when you get it thrown back in your face. I think it sometimes happens because the person is hurting and frustrated by the system and needs someone to rant at. Also people interpret things in different ways.  Take care.
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,702 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 15
    In my experience, some people are just easily offended, whether on or offline. 

    Personally, I don't take myself too seriously, you've really got to try hard to offend me! 

    But I have relatives that will take offense to pretty much anything, apparently believing everything to be a direct personal attack on them.  It's really not worth the hassle of trying to share opposing opinions with them.  I see the same reaction to forum posts as well, both on here and other sites.

    People live different lives, have different experiences, feel things in different ways.  You can't please everyone no matter what you say or how you say it.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,025 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you for your kind words @Teddybear12 - the problem has been resolved. Whilst I can't agree totally with your sentiments.....to me a personal attack is abusive, & will always be unacceptable, as always I appreciate your empathy for all posters.

Brightness

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