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Harassment from neighbour/s

ResilientNeighbour7
ResilientNeighbour7 Member Posts: 10 Listener
I am a lone living, ethnic minority, adult female and ever since I moved into this council flat, I have been harassed by neighbours including them moving my bins to middle of road whenever I'm not in,so that when I come back I have to move them again. They are aware I have disabilities yet continue this sort of pathetic behaviour. The white,male, downstairs neighbor shouts 'f$ck you' repeatedly and other profanities in a booming voice and bangs on the ceiling.
It's all been going on for over 10 months now and I am not getting any support from the council, police nor housing association. As I type, he is banging loudly. It is 06:34am on Sunday 2nd January 2022 . Considering all my illnesses too, this is particularly distressing to have to deal with!
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Comments

  • MarkM88
    MarkM88 Member Posts: 2,288 Pioneering
    Your housing association should have an anti social behaviour policy, please read this or get hold of a copy. 

    Have you considered somewhere like CAB that might be able to start the process with you of complaining officially? 

    No one should be subject to this behaviour. 
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,051 Pioneering
    Hi @MarkM88 Were you intending to post a link ?
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,051 Pioneering
    Hi @ResilientNeighbour7 Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry you are having to put up with unacceptable behaviour. You need to make an official complaint to your Housing Association. As Mark has said CAB should be able to help you start this process. Take care. 
  • MarkM88
    MarkM88 Member Posts: 2,288 Pioneering
    Hi @MarkM88 Were you intending to post a link ?
    No I just meant if the housing association happened to have one on their website then they should read it or ask them directly for a copy. 
  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Member Posts: 10 Listener
    OK thanks both for the encouragement I needed to pursue yet another formal complaint. This is time consuming, distressing  and infuriating and I shouldn't have to spend my remaining precious time on such things but as I'm unfortunate enough to have such burdens it seems the only way to try and get some sort of resolution. Happy New Year.
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,051 Pioneering
  • Ookpik
    Ookpik Member Posts: 101 Courageous
    edited January 2
    ResilientNeighb My God!, why do people behave like this astounds me. l am so sorry to read what you are going through. And l do feel your suffering. This kind of dysfunctional behaviour is a sign of wanting to control you, and once they know they can control you, then it will just worse. l  had almost the same experience and almost led me to a total breakdown until got help from another source.

    Whatever you do, don't let him control you Physical and verbal violent bullying means the attacker is a coward and has no moral abilities. l know l am not much help to what l type for you to do. But please, if it will help [and l hope it does] put it into action
    Write down the times and behaviour he does[sort of like diary] if you can record the behaviour and save the videos, that will help, and then, once you have enough evidence to show to certain official bodies, show them the proof.  And if that still doesn't work.Go on social media and plaster the culprits' dysfunctional ways, Or there is a forum called Bolton Alert.  go on there, maybe they can help you on this one
    What l typed,l hope will do the trick. After all, Bullies are actually tyrants, despicable living beings with no morals. 
    Nature has all the answers. All we have to do is listen, and peace will prevail
  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Thanks so much for understanding my perspective. I'm already having breakdowns. Frankly I'm suicidal. Unfortunately another personal disaster has happened this morning. Whilst trying to free up storage on this stupid Samsung phone, I accidentally deleted ALL my photos,videos,screenshots which included some of the evidence I'd gathered of moved and knocked over bins as well as snippets of his vile shouting,going outside jn his garden and banging his door, booming things to his cat but directing the noise at me, talking loudly about Mr on loudspeaker,and outside my flat. Even when I'm in the bath , the disgusting. These are gestures of pure disrespect and I can't take it even though u describe myself as resilient.  One of the worst things is that the other neighbours are all his friends and taking his side and ganging up on. I'm a victim of abuse and disabled and just to get this council flat has not been an easy process. He loudly exclaims things like 'look at the state of her', 'should be long gone now', 'Indian ****'. This is towards a British born,contributing, perfectly innocent individual . I am not the only person of colour in the area so I don't know why they're only tormenting me. I have many questions. I genuinely feel like I'm going to kill myself once I gather the strength but right now I'm totally incapable. I didn't fo through months of paying for temporary shared accommodation, bidding, and other hardships to suffer once i got here. I work as an SEN assistant at the moment, and I am a temp so very low income and yes reliant on Universal credit. He earwigs on all my Telephone cobversations and talks about me being on benefits outside the flat loudly. His neighbours and friends come over and laugh raucously. How can people be so cold? I dint feel able to approach them as font want furtger issues. I've called frimestoppers but they said it's for the police. If I call police for petty matters, they would not help me in real emergencies.  This is he'll. They make me feel like a leper or such and sorry to use that term but I happen to have a skin condition that I cover so it does relate somewhat to me and i feel allowed to type that. I'm really upset.  I'm not moving include because it's cost me a lot of money (believe it or not) to set up this little council flat from empty, no connection lines, to now payiny for every utility possible. In terms  of the lost data, there's nothing in recycle bin, I downloaded an app to try and restore but all to no luck. I feel beyond cursed. That was my only evidence and in my case its not just him bullying me, 
    I'm a 26 Yr old woman , childless,  unmarried, skin diseased ,disabled, minding my own business, bothering nobody, but I'm still being targeted everyday.
    How do I prove all those months worth of gathered snippets on evidence now? My chest is hurting,alongside ongoing anxiety symptoms. I HATE MY LIFE. 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,054 Disability Gamechanger
    One idea might be to contact your local councillor, you should have three to chose from, they should be able to help.
    If you need someone to talk to then call the samaritans free on 116123, or if you are in real danger of harming yourself then phone 999.

    Be kind to newer members
  • scotleag
    scotleag Member Posts: 132 Courageous
    I wasn't going to post on this site again but before I go feel I must respond to this. This is racism, pure and simple. See here about hate crime https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/hate-crime-england-and-wales-2020-to-2021/hate-crime-england-and-wales-2020-to-2021 

    Below is the key section regarding definition. That your abuser is making references to your ethnicity is something you should mention when talking to the police and make it clear to them you are reporting a hate crime, not simply anti-social behaviour, and ask them to record it as such. Maybe also contact your local councillor(s) and your MP.

    This is disgusting behaviour and my heart goes out to you. No one should have to put up with this. Perhaps also you might call the Samaritans. Your life is precious. You are a dignified human being doing valuable work to help others. Please, no matter how difficult, try to continue to be a "resilient neighbour." You are worth infinitely more than the racist scumbag terrorising (and that's the right word) you. And those others who either support this human detritus harassing you or stand by and knowingly watch you suffer.

    Best wishes and good luck.

    1.2 Hate crimes recorded by the police

    Hate crime is defined as ‘any criminal offence which is perceived, by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by hostility or prejudice towards someone based on a personal characteristic.’ This common definition was agreed in 2007 by the police, Crown Prosecution Service, Prison Service (now the National Offender Management Service) and other agencies that make up the criminal justice system. There are five centrally monitored strands of hate crime:

    • race or ethnicity
    • religion or beliefs
    • sexual orientation
    • disability
    • transgender identity
  • Ookpik
    Ookpik Member Posts: 101 Courageous
    edited January 2
    Racist issues on a serious scale. Should get the results you need. l remember last year of a  person being targeted by a Racist. lt was televised and after that, he got the support he needed. These landlords that do not want to know and fall in their duty to care for the tenant would not like the publicity 
    Have you thought of phoning the local television company and seeing if they can help you on this one? Bullies do not like exposure, because they feel threatened. And there is something you must take into consideration when confronting bullies. They become violent once they know they cannot control you. l had all that, and Boy", they swore they would kill me and verbal threats etc, of course, none of the materialized because they knew they were guilty as sin. The guilty will always try to pass the blame onto the innocent[or victim] hoping the guilt will stick on the innocence. 
     apart from me yabbering on and on. There is one thing l hate more than anything else. And that is Bullying to control and Racists is one of my hates as well.  l really do hope [very soon] you can live in peace. 
    P.S
    scotleag That's a brilliant bit of advice you posted. l will also keep that in mind. l despise bullies.
    Nature has all the answers. All we have to do is listen, and peace will prevail
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,054 Disability Gamechanger
    @scotleag sorry to read that you are leaving us.
    Be kind to newer members
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,051 Pioneering
    @scotleag Please reconsider as your latest post suggests you are a valued member able to help others.
    Happy New Year.
  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Many thanks to all of you. I now feel supported enough to formally report to the council again tomorrow as well as police. 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,054 Disability Gamechanger
    @ResilientNeighbour7 it will have to be on Tuesday as tomorrow is another bank holiday.
    Let us know how you get on please.
    Be kind to newer members
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,358

    Scope community team

    @ResilientNeighbour7, I'm absolutely appalled by the behaviour of this man and really sorry you're having to deal with it.

    It sounds like you're really struggling at the moment, but I would definitely urge you to make another complaint. I also know while you might not want to report every individual incident to the police, it's important you do report what's going on so they have a record of events. I would also echo @scotleag's fantastic advice - you should not have to endure that sort of treatment, so please keep reporting and fighting it.

    You also mention that you're feeling suicidal. If you are struggling with these thoughts, it's really important you speak to someone trained and able to support you. Please call Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258. You might also really benefit from Mind's pages on getting urgent help now
    We'd also be willing to seek some support for you locally, perhaps by way of a social care referral, if that's something that would interest you. I'm going to email you shortly to check in with you, but if this is something you'd like us to explore, please let us know.

    In the meantime, if you do feel like you might be in immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital.
    Community Manager
    Scope

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  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Just an update, so I didn't manage to call police, but I did once again email the busy bee email at which I had previously complained.
    I am really struggling to do anything. Not only am I in debt, isolated, suffering a multitide of problems but my diseases are ongoing, with no medical support. I should not have t
    You wouldn't believe, but even typing these messages is a strenuous activity for me and is causing further deep pains throughout arms and whole body. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
    As I type he is banging is shouting the ''CHARLIE WHAT 'YA' DOIN'?'' phrase in his booming followed buy laughter.
    It is CLEAR he does this to provoke? I can literally feel physical trauma from this behavior.
    I am stuck because it is just me against all these wrongdoers! You guys on here has been phenomenally supportive so thank you however as my complaints are from just me and I try to communicate in as clear a manner as I can manage, I am trapped!
    I have had several negative, dismissive, and frankly racist incidents (believe it or not when trying to seek police support - more than than enough) so I am hesitant in contacting them one last time.
    When sending a few photos of the most recent (from when the neighbours emptied my bins this past Wrdnesday, the neighbourhood officer said , until you show of video of the perpetrator in the act there is nothing we can do! 
    This is tiring! My life is bad enough. WHy must this ******* further add stress?He is the type of person where even if I was to go on rampage, it wouldn't affect him, he'd just sit and laugh.
    I hate my life and this vicious world! Good people are rare. 
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,716

    Scope community team

    Hi @ResilientNeighbour7

    Thanks for posting again, I'd also just like to say how dreadful the situation you are in sounds, you have the full support of everyone on the community.

    How are you feeling today?

    Sorry to hear about how you are feeling, have you been in contact with your GP about your pain? You mentioned having no medical support, which is a shame to hear. 

    As mentioned by others, i would encourage you to continue making complaints to the relevant authorities and fighting this, you absolutely deserve better. 

    If you want to report the treatment you have received from the police in the past, you can visit the IOPC to find out how to do this.

    Have you had any contact with Citizens Advice to see if they can provide any help for your current situation? You can view details on how to get in touch with them here.

    Do you have or know anybody else who could provide you with support at this time? Perhaps by giving you a safe space to stay for a bit.
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  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Thank you again to every kind person on this forum who has shown more kindness than most, if not any people, in my locality. I am all about being honest and I believe this is what these discussion areas are for. So in all honesty, no I am not ok at all. Even though there are people worse off than me, and even though
    Last night yobs banged loudly, swore and laughed at my door and flapped the letter box loudly and once again, in my vulnerable state I did not open the door nor call police but sat in the cold flat, shaking and frozen even more. Now the next thing might seem like something of fortunate, but the anti social behaviour should not be ahppening in first place and I feel humiliated at age 26 to still be frightened in my own living space as an adult woman, albeit undeveloped and not the average adult.
    When you ask if I have support, it's not a straightforward yes/no I am afraid.
    So where I live I have this one slightly older friends who lives with her husband and kids. She has had a very tough life but always goes out of her way to help people including me. I obviously don't see her that regularly anymore as she has a busy schedule but last night she kindly offered to have her brother drive their cars twoards my drive and I was told that they saw two males run off that were knocking my door. She ALSO briefly spoke from her brothers phoen to neighbour , saying to please not keep bothering me with noise. 
    I had hoped that communication alone would end the ASB but no they banged door again and the demon downstairs continued booming and having loud telephone calls
    I got my toiler unblocked though but even calling the association and having a plumber come to the property made me feel uncomfortable. It shouldn't but when you keep having negative experiences everything seems frightening. 
    I didn't contact me friend again. She has two young girls and it is not the duty to help someone like me. 
    Tomorrow I have to, no get to,  attend a week' work that I begged for. But  have no energy, no appetite, no will to live, no feeling of safety, no idea why I am here. I genuinely do nothing wrong but it feels like wrongdoers are constantly  . There are undeserving people, much younger than me, whoeither live alone or with partners or whatever, in comfortable homes and are left to live in liberty. Why does it bother these disgusing people so much that a woman of colour (and 26 is not young, trust me - especially when there are 16 years olds living on their own,many people my age are married with kids and have high ranks in business and career) is living alone. And when I say living it's not really a quality.
    Even this laptop is borrwoed and the internet I am using is one I can't afford and am in debt and have manually cancelled my direct debits so it#s onyl a matter of time before that gets cut off.
    My kind community members, what I'm saying to cut long story short, I'm not ok, and feel far too weak, vulnerable, exhausted, stressed, outcast, diseased to even step outside tomorrow. 
    But I will either stay up all night&/wake up early (I struggle with time management - especially with all this going on) and walk and bus to 'work' tomorrow because I want o be able to say I WORK, I EARN MY MONEY, I AM A TAX PAYING CITIZEN, I AM NOT SAT ON MY **** DOING NOTHING, I AM \ GOOD PERSON, I AM BRAVE, I HAVE POTENTIAL, SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IN ME ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A FEW HOURS WORK IN A SCHOOL, I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE
    I am sorry if I come across too open, too emotional, too direct but since discovering this
    I also want to blog and see if that might help not only me but possibly others.
    I have goals but there are too many barriers.
    Do you knwo where I lived before I was not free to just get up and go to work and even though I live alone now the living state is even poorer and anger burns inside me that after everything I went throhg I am still not feeling free! But I will be free one day!
    I am so jealous of people who can drive . It' s a privilege that too many take for graned. If I could dribve and afford a vehicle my life would be simpler but at 26 I still have to deag myselg through pain each day to walk to wherever I must go. I never go or stay outside later than I have to , unlike some 20 somethings, and whilst I cannot control bus timings, delays, traffic and my legs' strength, I aim to only leave the house between 06:30am and 19:30pm although as you knwo it's scarier in these cold, dark winter nights. 
    Basically I am having a really s*i*t* period still and I am deeply upset that despite all the money, time, effort, determination, consistency I invested in various aspects of life, I am still poor, unproductive and livng worse than a so called tramp. 
    Anyway right now, as I too scared to sleep I will be attempting to silently sort tthrough, organise, file and neatly gather all my clutters of papers that are unbearably dispersed over tehe sufaces, floor, of this entire counicl flat room. Only I can change it, so I am going to attempt t sort it all but 5am tomorrow.

    My head is hurting so much! Like a clamp tightly fixed around my skull. I am sick of being unwell all the time! I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in wellness, confidence and security but I am scared for my life!
    Being on a platform like scope has been empowering buy I hope what I am typing is acceptable
    and if I am typing anything wrong please let me know but as I said I do need help and I will keep asking until the right solutions have been found.
    Sorry again for oversharing and thank you for all teh online support. I really do appreciate it.
    I hope you all have a productive, healthy, empowering, calm and successful week.
    Good night

  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,054 Disability Gamechanger
    i don't know if this has already been suggested but if you are not getting support from your housing provider or the police have you considered involving your local MP it can be surprising how a word from them in the right ear can get them doing what they should already be doing.
    Be kind to newer members

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