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My guilty secret confession

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Biblioklept
Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
I get too many emails and spam coming through and I can never stay on top of them now so they just build up. My phone right now shows 304 unread texts, 35 missed calls and over 140000 unread emails.

It's not even the worst it has been but I don't know how to tackle it so it gets worse. I do the same with post that comes, I have about 5 boxes of paperwork and unopened letters. 
In january I set myself new year resolution goal of opening all post that comes and I have managed that. I don't always action stuff or take it out the envelope but I do open it and look inside to see roughly what it is about but I don't know what to do about the 5 boxes of unopened and old stuff dating back about 15 years. 
It's my Mount Everest. Most is probably junk mail too. I keep thinking just to bin it all but what if it's something really important? 

Do you have anything that you just find too much or too hard that is actually quite a simple thing but then it builds up to something overwhelming? 
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Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    If the post 8s that old I would bin it buf that's my view 

    I deal with text and emails as they come in and only have them in my inbox if I need to action them or waiting for delivery 

    Receipts and ones that need saving I move into archive folder 

    I'm a bit the other way have to have empty inbox 

    You could tackle them a bit at a time and get them all deleted 
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
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    My worry is the boxes are in no order so some stuff will be as recent as December 2021 and some stuff could be over a decade old all mixed together. 

    janer1967 said:
    I'm a bit the other way have to have empty inbox 

    You could tackle them a bit at a time and get them all deleted 
    I used to be same and was really fussy with organising and sorting emails and had a bad period with my mental health and they built up and then became an obstacle in my head that I couldn't deal with. And the more I didn't deal with the worse it got. 
    It's something I'm actually quite embarrassed about and just can't get it sorted. I'm really organised with everything else and my OCD come  out in organising everything else but this. 

    I know I need to tackle it eventually I just can't ever seem to get started. I wish someone could do it for me :D:D:D:cry:
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,127 Disability Gamechanger
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    I would suggest setting yourself a small challenge; if successful, I'm sure you'll feel a sense of achievement. So, in one week, can you open one piece of mail on day one; 2 on day 2; 3 on day 3, etc. Small steps as they say, & you'll get there even if you do the same the 2nd week, & so on, then hopefully it won't feel overwhelming. :)
  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
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    I think thats a good idea @chiarieds
    I'm the same as you @janer1967 and i have files in my bedroom for post that has to be saved xx
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
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    chiarieds said:
    I would suggest setting yourself a small challenge; if successful, I'm sure you'll feel a sense of achievement. So, in one week, can you open one piece of mail on day one; 2 on day 2; 3 on day 3, etc. Small steps as they say, & you'll get there even if you do the same the 2nd week, & so on, then hopefully it won't feel overwhelming. :)
    I like this idea but I worry that by doing it I'll stop opening the new mail that arrives and I've gotten good at at least checking whats in it. :( 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,127 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm just speaking from personal experience, tho others have mentioned something similar. We all have our many & varied limitations, but I find if I do one thing extra each day, then I feel a small sense of achievement. The important thing is not to beat yourself up if you don't do it, as tomorrow is another day, but to keep on trying.
    Perhaps find an empty box (or empty one box into a carrier bag or similar) & label it opened, then see the pile of opened mail build up.....a measure of your success. :)
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 55,097 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm like janer and am usually quite organised with my emails. If it's not needed i delete it. If i need to keep it i'll put it into another folder. If i have an email and it's spam i'll put it in that folder so any future emails from the same place then goes into spam.
    My post is opened everytime i have it. If it's no good i'll bin it. I no longer have paper bankstatements because there's just too many of them. I have a box where i put mail in that's no longer needed. I wait a couple of months and then i shred it, if it's not needed.
    I have a few folders where i keep the most important mail such as benefit letters, car/house insurance etc. Another 2 files for medical evidence, one for myself the other for my daughter.
    Try and open a few items of post per day and each day increase the amount you open. Set yourself a task of needing to open X amount per week. If you don't receive much post then it's not going to increase much anyway. If you have new post each day then try to open that when you receive it.
    For your emails do the same each week. For my emails i can put a tick in the box of multiple emails and put them all into the bin at once so if you can do this it will be much quicker.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
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    You're all very sweet giving me advice on this. I've woken up determined to clear all of it today :D 
    As part of my condition I usually just jump in to hard and go all out and burn out and don't finish and can't ever go back to something. Even if that's a game I'm playing or something hard. 
    So I know it's not practical and I'm going to rein myself in and grab a handful from the box and stick to just that and try and work on it little each day. I struggle with moderation but I think this should be an okay amount. 
    Bit embarrassed I'm the only one that seems to struggle with post or emails but can't delete it now lol
  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
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    Don't feel embarrassed @Biblioklept we all do things differently in life.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    No need to be embarrassed 

    Can you put your phone back to factory settings to lose all the messages I'm not sure it works like that as I'm not a phone expert but again you could be deleting important ones you need 
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 55,097 Disability Gamechanger
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    No need to feel embarrassed. Restoring your phone to factory settings wouldn't delete your emails unfortunately.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,503 Disability Gamechanger
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    I can totally relate @Biblioklept. My personal email inbox is a bit of a mess at the moment to be honest! I sometimes hyperfocus on sorting it out, so on occasion it's been neatly organised into files :D 

    One thing I found helpful is to have a main email inbox, and then another one dedicated to spammy stuff. So if I have to enter my email address for something random, or sign up to something I know I'll probably get loads of useless emails from, I'll use that email address. 

    This has been good for damage limitation, as it means my main email inbox is still rather full and a little disorganised, but it's at least largely full with stuff that's vaguely important. I can basically ignore the other email inbox, but could retrieve stuff from it if I needed to for some reason. 

    Setting yourself a small goal each day sounds like a good idea to me :) Being able to see your progress in getting through the list chunk by chunk should also be quite motivating (hopefully!). 
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  • Amalegra
    Amalegra Community member Posts: 23 Courageous
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    I do the minimum housework possible now. I suffer from health conditions that make it rather more difficult than it used to be but don’t bravely strive to overcome them as some do as basically I hate it! However my daughter runs a small cleaning business so…I have cleaner who does it properly in no time! My daughter! And if she can’t do it she sends her best employee-her sister!- to do it. They will not charge me no matter how hard I try. I treat them to small things instead. I know I am so lucky and lazy and, I confess, a bit ashamed. 
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
    edited June 2022
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    It sounds like you raised brilliant kind and generous daughters @Amalegra. You should be proud they help you out as it shows what a good job you did raising them <3<3
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
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    The ratings on there are really high, I've tried lots of self help stuff in the past and never seem to get anywhere. I go in all guns blazing or whatever the saying is and then lose my stride part way through and end up worse than I started :D 

    I didn't know social services did things like that but I feel I'd be taking away from someone that really needs help or at least more than I do. Since my confession I have to admit things got worse than better. I ordered loads of filing systems online, fancy label maker, paper shredder and had all good intentions but I couldn't follow through. I've not even opened a letter in weeks now :( So beating myself up about it, which makes the problem worse because I feel low and guilty. And I just get into a bit of a mess with it lol. I'm hoping it doesn't slip as bad as before so I'm trying. 

    I did make some progress with my emails and cleared about 20000 and unsubscribed to a lot but it's now sitting back at 149,993 :( 
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
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    What was the second thing you got from it? Or will you make me buy it to find out? :D 
  • Starlingbird
    Starlingbird Community member Posts: 169 Pioneering
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    I have OCD and hoarding issues. I find it difficult to throw things away and I have had to tackle a whole room full of junk (really bad). I felt very overwhelmed and would just feel like crying if I looked in the room.

    It has taken months, but the room is now looking great :) For me, the best method is to either tackle a drawer/surface/corner at a time (or, in the case of post, one handful) or to give myself a particular amount of time that I have to focus on the matter. Break things down into what you feel you can manage - I have done things in 15 minute slots (just do what you can do in the allocated time, then 'allow' yourself to stop and class that as enough for that day). Trying to look at the entire picture can cause total mental overload, but focusing on a tiny bit can be managable for me. 
  • Amalegra
    Amalegra Community member Posts: 23 Courageous
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    I found your comments really helpful. I have been clearing out a bit myself today and bagged up stuff to go. Was beating myself up as I only managed about 1and1/2 hours and was feeing guilty it wasn’t more Reading your post made me feel it’s OK to do it in little bits so thank you so much for cheering me up and spurring me on. 
  • Starlingbird
    Starlingbird Community member Posts: 169 Pioneering
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    Aww, thank you Teddybear12. I should show before and after pics!!  :blush:
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,707 Disability Gamechanger
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    Really thankful for you both posting and being open. I definitely need to break it down in chunks and not beat myself up when I don't finish everything. Any progress should be seen as a good thing!! <3

    1 and half hours is amazing @Amalegra be super proud of yourself
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