Family not understanding

Biblioklept

This probably applies more for those with 'hidden' disabilities but does anyone else have a family who are unsupportive or don't get at all how much you struggle?

Lots of my family very much don't believe in things like mental health /anxiety or ASD/ADHD. 

Spoonbill

Yup, either stressed & distracted themselves or living in a comfy bubble of circular logic. Draining, isn't it?!

iza

Yep, I came across moments in my life when I struggled the most and didn’t receive support at all.

leeCal

When I first had mental health problems my family totally disregarded my opinion about anything and mistrusted my judgement, still do to some extent, I often found I was the subject of conversation even when I was in the same room! 

Over an extended period of time things have recovered to near normal but it’s still difficult at times. I understand, I have to.

Sandy_123

Gosh yeah, extended family don't get it, when I remind them of my limitations I get a long pause and a  oh. Was even told by 1 a few months ago I could get a job, even a sitting down job  why i can't you do that? Was the question. Bare in mind, this person is not about when I relapse and can only just manage to go to toilet and nothing else, walking bent over because I can't straighten.  For weeks sometimes months.
Without a relapse I'm limited to what I can do, that's without the rest of the diseases I'm battling,  even close family don't get it really. Everyone thinks your putting it on, or lazy. All mine are hidden, so yeah I look great to them all. 

leeCal

It’s sad @Sandy_123.

Sandy_123

Its annoying @leeCal this family member who thinks I can suddenly work, tells me if I move to same town they can all look after me( they never have with anything before ever) I'm a 25 minute drive away.   I don't need those people, I'm better struggling lol.

woodbine

Some family members handled my epilepsy quite well and treated me as they always had, problem is now they have all passed away and I'm left with the idiots who refuse to even try and understand.
Thank good goodness fro sm and our daughter .

Sandy_123

It is difficult at times

Ross_Alumni

Definitely had this in the past, though I admit that in some situations others have failed to understand because I used to be quite bad at discussing my disability. I think with some people you have to help them along the way to understanding, and up until a few years ago I was very bad at doing that and therefore they would assume things because I wouldn't really talk about it.

Of course though, yes there are always those who despite your best efforts, never really get it. I once had somebody insist to me that I could probably drive if I really wanted to and that my eyesight probably wasn't as bad as I was making out.

Maurice123

Just hopefully to give a bit of encouragement to others. I have received nothing but welcoming help and have not had one criticism, contempt or unpleasant comment since my amputation. I can only imagine how awful it may be for a family not to understand but worse for people to discuss you while you are still in the room. 

janer1967

I have had lots of support from my family for which I am grateful buf certain ones cant understand why I'm not up and running about on a prosthetic leg 

They see others who can adapt to them but dont see how hard it is to actually wear one and mobilise 

I have tried 

Maurice123

Hi Janer
I went to my local mobility centre and had a good discussion with the staff there. After an hours discussion I decided that I did not want a prosthetic leg. Over 80% of people have problems with them and they can be painful and will need extra aids in most cases. Sorry that you are one of them. Again if you do not have a disability it is very hard to understand why those with do not try harder. 

janer1967

I think if you are young and fit it's a possibility to use a leg bur 6es they are not very comfortable cause strain on knee you get sores on stump the rubber hlive to hold it in place is horrible and the legs nhs provide have no ankle movement 

Even if you can use one you still need other aids eg don't have time to put your leg on if need toilet in night 

But like you say people not in that situation don't see all these things 

Spoonbill

Felt Disability History Month 2021 brought a few articles about disbelief more into the mainstream. Some might find the following meaninglessly abstract, but I personally connect it to currents well below just family & friends not wanting to open their minds on this. At the same time, I'd also accept the sense in trying to start with those you know, especially when relationships of love and trust are at stake. I'll keep trying different approaches as and when I'm able - appreciate it being talked about.

KITTYCAT88

I totally understand my family don't understand or know how it is with dyspraxia. They always look down on me like I'm don't capable to take care of myself or something. I am stupid... I am not stupid I just thinking in a different way. I way say that some people think outside that box. I just make my own path in the box , it may take a bit longer but I get there. But when I get there I learn more then someone else.my family thought I would not graduation from high school and I did and I also I graduated from college for parent care technician. It told me 8 years but I told one class at a time. My family doubt me but I proof them wrong. Yea I speak different and maybe write different but that mean **** to me cause I am me. So I will prove everyone that put me down or doubt me wrong. I stop talking to my family all together.my  Uncle Bully me all my life and my family didn't do nothing. After my first panic attack three year I decide to stop talking to them. I only talking to my parents. No I Christmas, no my kids birthday ,no Thanksgiving. Yea I hurt sometime but I don't deserve that. I making my own family. People that have you back and don't put you down. I don't care that not family if all they do is put you in a counter , put you down, and your feeling not mean nothing. 

KITTYCAT88

Yea I know that now but growing up with no true friends or family that understand you,it's hard. But I doing  a lot of searching inside of me for find me. I am finally happy with myself.i do have depression but I'm not a sad person. I say thing like I do to let people know who I am and what I overcome. I did it anyone one can do it.

life

I gave up on family understanding a long time ago. I say move on and start your own family. Try to be happy.

KITTYCAT88

Agree. 

Siwheels73

@Biblioklept absolutely agree with this. Both my wife and I struggle to be heard by our families. We were lucky to find each other, support each other, and the rest of the small minds can either get us, or do one!