If we become concerned about you or anyone else while using one of our services, we will act in line with our safeguarding policy and procedures. This may involve sharing this information with relevant authorities to ensure we comply with our policies and legal obligations.

Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.
Please read our updated community house rules and community guidelines.

Mental health stigma still alive and very much kicking! ! !

Options
wendy41
wendy41 Community member Posts: 228 Pioneering
edited October 2022 in Mental health and wellbeing
It would be interesting to know if anyone else experiences this. I've found that some people like to talk to you in a 'special way'... like you are 5yrs old! I'm in my 50's and never experience this before now. It's only recently I've noticed it. It's demeaning and condescending, but seems it's common place. The other thing I hate is the term 'geriatric'. It's so demeaning and sounds like a person has lost all sense. Anyone else notice this? 

Comments

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,504 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    I'm sorry to hear that you've faced this kind of treatment @wendy41. I'm sure you're not the only one!

    It's World Mental Health Day today, so it seems like a good time to talk about the stigma facing those who live with mental illness :) 

    How do you tend to react when people speak to you in a demeaning or condescending way (there's no right answer!)? 
    National Campaigns Officer, she/her

    Sign our petition calling on politicians to stop demonising us
  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    I find people can be wary of me sometimes. I remember seeing a clinical psychologist for eighteen months and she did nothing for me at all, no counselling just brief chats about nothing in particular. I got the feeling we could go on like that for years until one day I became upset enough to cry and that was it! She was out of there! I never saw her again and she’s never asked how I was. At one point she was even told to give me cognitive therapy by my psychiatrist, I was there and witnessed it, but she didn’t, absolutely useless. She was the head clinical psychologist would you believe. 

    Just one story of how useless my mental health treatment was and remains.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,106 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    @leeCal

    It's sad for me to be able to say I'm not shocked at all by what you have said and am not even a little bit surprised. I experience the same with mental health treatment being either useless or non existent...

    I have found a lot of MH professionals try to treat patients with a standard treatment that is supposed to work for everyone and then get frustrated when it doesn't help me, not being willing to adapt the treatment to my situation. I have had people act as though it is my fault that the treatment isn't working!

    In my experience I have noticed that patients with the same physical health condition can often be treated similarly, because everyones body is roughly the same. However everyone's mind is totally different so one treatment doesn't work for everyone, even if they (supposedly) have the same condition.

    Something else that doesn't help is that doctors seem to come and go every other week at the moment. It helps me a lot more if I can build up a relationship with someone and work with them long term but by the time I get comfortable with someone they have decided to move on to a new job and I have to start again!

    Just to balance the rest of my post, my GP is great (when I am actually able to get an appointment) and tries to help me quickly and efficiently with any physical issues I have.
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,106 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    To reply to the topic I do find I get treated in a condescending way quite often.

    To be honest I'd say I prefer it to being treated like someone without any issues i.e. expected to hold a full conversation and act like somebody without any problems if that makes sense? Kind of hard to put into words what I mean.

    Obviously there is a better solution which is to not be condescending but also to be tolerant of the fact that people experience difficulties, but I think to be able to do that would be quite advanced.
  • wendy41
    wendy41 Community member Posts: 228 Pioneering
    Options
    I've addressed patronising and condescending attitudes in the past. It takes up way too much 'energy to complain. Because it then becomes about times, dates, facts! Is a bit like telling a hearing person not to 'shout' and over exaggerate mouth expressions when talking to a deaf person who can lip read. That kind of thing. The stereotype that because you have an impairment then that makes you 'stupid as well as mental. Now it's worse because all the work that had gone into getting a platform for mental health has been destroyed and now is back at the beginning with getting things understood again, building up a platform of services and building on that instead of destroying it. Building rappor with services and people who use them. 
    It's not easy 'gritting your teeth' when someone is looking at you and talking to you like a 5yr old. C-a-n  w-e  h-e-l-p y-o-u? when you just want to 'poke that person in the eye'. Then maybe I'm looking at it all wrong; maybe they are the person who needs help with figuring out why they talk that way!? (eye roll!) At the end of the day that person is only trying to help you. But it's just so  >:) Better stop as it's vexing me. 
  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    Attitudes may change as today’s youngsters start working in the system, they seem to be more aware of mental health issues, especially of the evil twins anxiety and depression. 

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    Really insightful thread. Thanks everyone for your contributions. I will look forward to hearing everyone else's responses if anyone else wishes to share. If anyone needs any further support, we are all here for you  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2022
    Options
    Something else I find a bit odd. I have a lifetime mental health disorder yet I was discharged from the mental health team a year ago. You’d think they would check in every so often but no...nothing even though I’m still on medications . Also my GP recently wrote to them about my medications and they didn’t reply. Very strange it seems to me.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    As far as I know @Pam peoples medication should be reviewed regularly, it’s not right to be just left alone for all those years. Take care. 

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • Cartini
    Cartini Community member Posts: 1,108 Pioneering
    Options
    At risk of being hung, drawn and quartered.......
    Could your state of mind / mental (I hate that word, I prefer to use "mind") health condition misinterpret what people are saying to you?  I don`t have a mind condition (that I`m aware of), but I sometimes misinerpret what is being / has been said to me.
  • Cartini
    Cartini Community member Posts: 1,108 Pioneering
    Options
    Pam said:
    I think so for myself occasionally @Cartini But I also hate it if the other person uses that as an excuse if they have said something wrong.  To blame your mental illnesses rather than admit fault 
    That`s different and I agree with you.

  • elahrairah
    elahrairah Scope Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    Options
    sometimes though it kind of is the condition's fault.  like, if you have experienced a lot of trauma your nervous system reacts differently, and reacts before your conscious rational mind.  that doesn't excuse not saying sorry or admitting that you shouldn't have done that or said that, but it does help to explain why some people act like they do.

    citation: bessel van der kolk, the body keeps the score (a must read for anyone who has a serious trauma history)
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2022
    Options
    I am really hearing a lack of support, understanding, and services related to mental health, unfortunately. You all deserve access to the support you need and hopefully one day this will be the case.

    I can also hear how this needs to be navigated within a two-way dialogue though. Needing to express why responses might be different could lead to more understanding and awareness. 

    If anyone wishes to talk about this further, please remember we are all here for each other! Keep pushing forwards <3
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
  • wendy41
    wendy41 Community member Posts: 228 Pioneering
    edited October 2022
    Options
    leeCal said:
    As far as I know @Pam peoples medication should be reviewed regularly, it’s not right to be just left alone for all those years. Take care. 
    I've noticed that. As from previous to all this virus outbreak; doctors use to request to see you for a medications review. It would appear on your script. Now that doesn't happen. Is like it's checked and you are none the wiser and like your opinion doesn't count anymore. Doctors have no reason to not see you anymore (even with ppe).  But is like a wall has been put up and they refuse to remove the barrier. You can't examine someone over a video call or a phone. I've lost confidence in my doctors and with good reason. 
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
    Options
    It sounds really sad and disappointing that you are none the wiser and don't feel like your opinion counts anymore @wendy41. I hear you. 

    Please don't hesitate to reach out to us if we can do anything to support you. We are all here for you and listening to you  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.