Values in life
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i feel really very sorry for all disabled people both mentally and physically who are in difficult situations and moments in their life not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel feeling helpless i know how it is , i talked to every single institution in Poland there is no institution in Poland where i could turn for help because i turned to every single institution there even to a shelter for homeless single men who when i called were on duty they devoted their time to me talking to me they also went through a lot in their lives, my birth mother ( and i do love her ) suggested that i should buy a cat if i felt lonely, i talked to a very kind people from Samaritans they also called me from Samaritans , but also i couldn’t talk to them for a whole month because they thought a lot of calls came out from my mobile and was getting a voicemail while trying to reach them .
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these men spent hours talking to me from shelters for homeless men also men who have set up their own foundations to help people, if i were in my mothers position now in our mother child relationship i would have serious problems now .
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Values in life?
For me, purely to have fun and spread some joy. I have endured way too much trauma, way more than I'll ever let on and I'm still here laughing and smiling.
I care so much about people, but I had to learn to set boundaries. I'm there for anybody, and I'll do anything for them, but now I quickly lose patience with people who offload on me constantly but do nothing to help themselves. There's only so much advice someone can ignore.
I have to protect myself from too much negativity because I am the only person who has got me through the darkest of times, it's a constant battle but it's getting easier all the time.
My independence annoys some people, but I don't believe in asking anyone for help. If things ever get too much, I just disappear for a few weeks and sort my own head out.
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Hi @Wheeled_Weapon , thank you for writing here about yourself and for sharing your thoughts, people are different and react differently to events in life and also have different levels of mental, postural and muscular endurance, i wish you a nice rest of your day, thanks again for writing here . ❤️
Kind regards.
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Hi @Wheeled_Weapon , thank you again for writing here , please i would like to add that we can also consider that our attitude to events in our lives is important, but sometimes our attitude is not enough, you can trust me i was full of optimism and faith in people and was helping people who had huge problems in life they counted on me and some of them only had me who gave them a helping hand.
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I've always dealt with everything internally. I have massive amounts of empathy, which is both a blessing and a curse. That level of empathy led to me staying with an abuser for 10 years longer than she deserved.
I've had to set boundaries for my own protection. For example, I have a friend who complains about the exact same things every single time I see him. I've tried just listening, I've given him some genuinely useful advice, all whilst he always ends up saying "you wouldn't understand". Like, I do understand because not only have I gone through everything he's complaining about, I feel every ounce of his pain. But he does nothing to help himself, not a thing. After 3 years of the exact same stuff, multiple times a week, putting my own healing on delay, it gets to a point where I had to say "enough!"
I was polite about it, but told him I can't help him and he needs to see a professional. I'll be there for him always, but I had to break that cycle.
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On the point about boundaries, a podcast I found helpful recently was 'Let Them', Mel Robbins and Jefferson Fisher. I found it on You Tube.
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Thank you very much again for writing here and for sharing about your life here @Wheeled_Weapon , i describe myself an empath, i gave really a lot of my time , heart , attention, patience, financial help using my credit card that homeless people had a place to sleep for , some of the people at my work respected that and took it as their chance to improve their lives but there were also those who caused me problems a lot of huge stress including police intervention etc , please i want to add here that boundaries are important and people are different they have different temperaments experiences beliefs that can be supportive for them or weakening for them , what is the strength of one person can be the weakness of another, there are people who didn’t cope with the circumstances in their life and broke down even having a strong character, for example the accountant who doesn’t leave the house now and was master in his field in the past but broke down overworked and other cases.
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Hi dear @Santosha12 , thank you very much for writing here and for sharing this information.
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under the influence of many stressful circumstances one day i sat on the floor in the house i loved i took a black garbage bag i packed almost all my new clothes in the bag and threw them in the garbage i remember what i felt in my brain then , i took off all my jewellery that i bought for myself or got as a reward for my hard work
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even strong characters sit on the streets of London or sleep in boxes during a winter , we gave them sandwiches, professor walks without shoes on the street of London
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i had a friend here who was outstanding individual sharp mind , even strong individual under influence of various circumstances have their house taken by banks and they had to face discrimination here , men born here native speakers couldn’t withstand pressure stress competition etc
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my friend heard from other people living with her in the same temporary accommodation “ go back to your country
and other examples about me that i was experiencing a huge amount of anxiety and stress and discrimination as well and situation that i don’t feel to talk about it now and that im really greatly shocked about them
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@Agnia seems like we have the love of Breakfasts at Tiffany's in common 🤗 that's my favourite movie of all time ☺️
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