Are there any links between Cerebral Palsy and an inability to orgasm — Scope | Disability forum
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Are there any links between Cerebral Palsy and an inability to orgasm

JennieGillies
JennieGillies Community member Posts: 6 Listener
My name is Jennie and I am 24 years old. I have mild spastic deplegia. When I have sex and also when I masturbate I am unable to orgasm. There’s always a point where the sex or masturbation feels really good and then it’s like I hit a wall and get super nauseous and then any pleasureable feeling goes away but I never orgasm. 

Does this happen to others and is there any medical explaination linked to my CP that could cause this reaction? 
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Comments

  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Community member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Hi Jennie!

    The short answer to this is: I don't know, but the long answer is: I am going to go and try and find out! 

    I work with lots of people with CP who have very varied experiences of sexual function, enjoyment and orgasm, but your experience - of nausea - is a new one to me.  I wonder if there is a link with sensory processing and whether you have ever had any issues with that?

    Can you park this one with me and I will send some emails?
    - Gill 
  • JennieGillies
    JennieGillies Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Of course! Take your time! I’m just happy to have a platform to ask the question. 

    I’m super reactive to touch of any kind and now that I think about it, yeah I guess I am sensitive to sensory processing. I don’t like loud noises, going down hills in cars or swinging high or turbulence on planes makes me tense up. Like I said before, be it sex with another person or masturbation it’s good and good and good and then all of a sudden it’s not good anymore and whatever pleasureable sensation needs to stop because it’s not pleasureable anymore and I’m super nauseous. 

    Are those the kinds of things you’re looking for? 


  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Community member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Hello!  Yes that was exactly what I was after - I have circulated the question out with my colleagues from the sex and disability alliance and I have had some interesting responses.  It does seem that it might be A Thing. I had one response in particular from a clinician in Sweden who explained that he had encountered similar issues in female clients with CP and MS and had been advised that there can sometimes be an issue with transference with pleasure and pain receptors where there is extended friction, and suggested looking at different places/ways of stimulation (maybe more indirect, for example).  
    - Gill 
  • JennieGillies
    JennieGillies Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Thank you so much!! This is so helpful! 
  • mossycow
    mossycow Scope Member Posts: 500 Pioneering
    Are you on any medication? 
  • JennieGillies
    JennieGillies Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    @mossycow I am right now but I wasn’t when I first noticed this 
  • mossycow
    mossycow Scope Member Posts: 500 Pioneering
    I see, Hmmmmm. Sorry, hope that wasn't too personal. I just had similar (possibly?) experience on some medications. Drove me bananas...

    Agree with above suggestion of variation... 
  • Lizzy23
    Lizzy23 Community member Posts: 1 Connected
    Hi Jennie & Gill,

    I do not quite have the abrupt reaction of nausea that Jennie described in reaction to heightening pleasure, but everything up to it. For me, it's almost like my body can't process anything more than 'feeling good'. This includes Jennie, how you feel with turbulence and different motions - pretty much identical. I have the addition of learning to sail, however I cannot handle larger boats/ships and feel very seasick. Even when I sailed - I had to spend a couple of minutes just sitting in the boat to take in the motion, and then once started moving I cannot stay still for long as the bobbing in the water is unsettling.

    So thank you for posting the question.
  • mancmiss
    mancmiss Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    I thought sex was just the same for anyone  cerebral palsy or not? I’ve been having sex since I was 16/17 and it was fine . But I find dating extremely tough in my 30s. Does anyone else struggle with dating apps? I’m intrigued to hear your experiences 
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,638 Scope online community team
    Sex and they ways that our bodies respond is different for everybody, CP or non-CP. Dating apps can be a complete minefield. What are your struggles? When I was in the dating game, I found the complete lack of honesty that came with online dating sites a challenge.
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

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  • MrD11
    MrD11 Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Hi,  Im a transexual  man with CP I have not much info about this and will really apreciate  help as this is getting  so frustrating  for me and also a bit obsesion.  With six years   spastic  diplegia low distal  the Last revision   left PCI Hemiparetic
    I do not have spasms  in my daily life I have a really  bad rigid in back and legs but not  spasms but when I try to masturbate  there is a point in which my hand tremble and my clit starts  to Hurt like pricks  so before I get climax I need to stop cuse Its too painful.  

    I have  tried  lube and many kind of toys even taking meds before  sex butt nothing Works.  With my couple  is the same  when I try to reach climax   but in this case I get rigid  like a rock and again clit ends hurting and mu legs get spasms that I could  not stop so its so uncomftable  and I can not  enjoy sex.

    Penetrative sex have been always Hurt  me so that does not work either. 

    I Just want to enjoy sex tell end and feel satisfied  😭😭😭😭😭😭

    Plese any help would be really  apreciated 

    Thanks 


  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello there @MrD11 and thanks for reaching out on the community, it's not always easy to do so well done, and I hope that we can help support you :)

    I'm sorry to hear you are having a painful and difficult time with reaching orgasm. I'm no expert on the subject, but you've mentioned that penetrative sex has always hurt, is this something you've spoken to a GP or sexual health specialist about before?

    I think society would have us all believe that sex isn't 'proper sex' unless it's penetrative/there's orgasm, but I don't think it's entirely true. As someone with CP myself, I'm slowly starting to unlearn this, and realise that sex is what you make it.

    A few years back I went to some really interesting webinars as part of engagement with 'Crimp Camp' (a documentary on Netflix). Some sex positive advocates there suggest the idea that disabled bodies are capable of experiencing pleasure in lots of different ways, and part of that is learning to think about sex in a wider way, in parallel with queer and LBGTQ+ experiences of sex. What do you think?

    Your needs are entirely valid, and I hope we can help you feel welcome and supported here. I can also tag @Richard_Scope who I'm sure can share his thoughts with you as well. 

    Let me know if you need anything else in the meantime, and hope you enjoy the weekend.

    Alex
    Online Community Coordinator
    Scope

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  • MrD11
    MrD11 Community member Posts: 6 Listener

    Thanks  so much  for listening and answering me.

    Well Its kind of wiried  for me to speak  this  with doctors. Im from spain  and here we have  too much to learn. In fact  I knew about meds cuse  I taller with a woman  of EEUU and she explained  a lot of things to me. Cuse  if it was for doctors  I am great  no spasms  so  not as bad as for them to need a surgery  and no meds eithier  so I had  to insist  them to give  me something.  They Just suggested  me to depend  on  a cane to walk. Im taking pure  protein  and relaxing  bath  bombs or using special  isoles  Just cuse I descovered  myself  that  they helped me. 

     But their  solution  was well u have  to underestand  you have  a disability  so if you get tired you stop, get a rest  and continue  doing  things. 

    I do not know  it my sexual  problems  must  be answer  by a gynecologist or neuro  or Who 🙄😔


    Also how  can  I feel that  
    excitement and get satisfied  if every time I get excited  is like if my body does not feel something  similar  to an orgsm I  get excited  and I need more and more and is like if I never get tired I do not get to the top (I do not know how  to  explain  it)
  • Leo_Aces
    Leo_Aces Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 104 Courageous
    Hello @MrD11
    I wanted to reach out. I am also a transman and have Dyskinetic Cerebral Palsy. I understand that spasms can occur more during climax. Have you tried masturbating in a different position? Also if you don’t mind me asking, are you using your hands or a toy? There are many toys specifically for transmen on the market. Certain vibrations can be used without your hands. I’m actually developing a toy with activist trans Buck Angel, with the disabled trans community.
    Im very happy to answer any further questions you have ♠️

    ♠️Community Volunteer Advisor ♠️

    I’m a Speaker and Life Coach.

    I have professional knowledge of Gender Identity & Sexuality  

    I coach people with all abilities to guide them to realise their potential and feel empowered 

    My background is Person Centred and Transactional therapy 

    ➡️Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.⬅️

  • MrD11
    MrD11 Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    I Was wondering  if there is any info to underestand  how our body and nervous  system  Works during  sex and how to reduce that overstimulation  or excess  of stress that the nervous  system could  not manage. Cuse  my doc Just told me well, when you have sex you are asking  your body to do something  that generates a lot of stress  so maybe  with meds like  braclofen  you could  get more relaxed  (but no and as I  Almost  do not  have  spsasticity she told me not  to get too much med Cuse  it will get me even more rigid)
  • Leo_Aces
    Leo_Aces Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 104 Courageous
    @MrD11 there is a condition which can occur from the prolonged use of Testosterone, it’s called  “vaginal atrophy”. The hormone  decreases the resilience of the vaginal tissues and the amount of natural lubrication, which can make the tissue more prone to tearing. Pain is common during orgasm. As @Alex_Scope says , it may be a good idea to have a conversation with your GP or sexual health clinic

    ♠️Community Volunteer Advisor ♠️

    I’m a Speaker and Life Coach.

    I have professional knowledge of Gender Identity & Sexuality  

    I coach people with all abilities to guide them to realise their potential and feel empowered 

    My background is Person Centred and Transactional therapy 

    ➡️Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.⬅️

  • Leo_Aces
    Leo_Aces Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 104 Courageous
    @MrD11 during orgasm your body goes through 3 main stages:
     Phase 1: Excitement. As you get excited, your heart beats faster and your breathing gets heavier. Your skin may redden. More blood flows to your genitals. The clitoris swells and the penis gets erect. Nipples harden and the vagina may get wet. Muscles throughout your body tense up, boosting sexual tension.

    Phase 2: Plateau. The changes in your body intensify. Breathing, heartbeat, and blood pressure rise. Muscle tension increases even more. The vagina swells and its walls turn a darker color. The clitoris becomes super-sensitive to touch. The testicles pull upward.

    Phase 3: OrgasmSexual excitement reaches its peak. You feel a series of intense muscle contractions as your body releases the tension. The muscles of the vagina and the uterus contract. Muscles at the base of the penis tighten and release, releasing semen in an ejaculation.


    ♠️Community Volunteer Advisor ♠️

    I’m a Speaker and Life Coach.

    I have professional knowledge of Gender Identity & Sexuality  

    I coach people with all abilities to guide them to realise their potential and feel empowered 

    My background is Person Centred and Transactional therapy 

    ➡️Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.⬅️

  • MrD11
    MrD11 Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    No matter if its a toy or hand  as it is getting  excited its okay then it gets a point in which I supose  it is excited at maximum  or Almost  so I continue  to try to reach that plasure and it starts to Hurt usually  and in other position I Just touch and touch it gets really big and for me is like nothing not that  orgasms explosion  not that trickles of plasure  is Just like  if  you touch my hand  and then my hand get tired and  when I lay down I feel pain in that para  I mean you have  the glans of the clit and behind I think there is a nerve  so that is where it hurts when I stop and I feel like a mix of uncomftable  trickles and pain. (Even when I archive and reduce a bit more my rigid sensation) and aldought  I feel uncomftable  I feel like I need to finish like I need more.

    I thought maybe I do not liberate  dopamine so my body and my brain  Still Waiting  that  sensation  of end. But dispite  this  I do have  that need to go to pee that we usually  have when we finish to clean  our genita its so wiried 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Thanks so much for  your coments  and help



  • MrD11
    MrD11 Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Also I think that with vibration  at first I enjoy but its easier  than with hands  for my body to feel like too stimulated  and start the pain
  • MrD11
    MrD11 Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Think that as u described for me with phase one there is no problem. In the middle  of the two my body starts to  complain  and if I insist  to reach  the third pain comes and I can  not stand it

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