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Work coach meeting....

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Charliex8
Charliex8 Community member Posts: 4 Listener
edited May 2018 in Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
Hi I'm Charlotte. I'm 27, living with my parents and I have social anxiety and depression. I also self harm and have suicidal thoughts.

I've had anxiety all my life. I can't talk to anyone apart form my close family members, can't talk on the phone and I can't leave the house on my own. I have never worked, I take medication and have been seen by the mental health team. 

I recently managed to claim PIP after a reconsideration. I am getting the enhanced rate for daily living. 

I had to go for a meeting about my ESA last month. I've been a couple of times before but it always gets me upset and worried. I haven't heard back from them about any changes so my parents assumed nothing would change (though I've been worrying about it every day) I'm in the support group.

Today though I finally received a letter from them....though not to say anything about my benefits. 

I have to go to the job center for a meeting with my work coach...I have no idea what this means! I'm seriously stressing out about it! I can't phone them and I doubt they will talk to my mum on the phone either as they will need my verbal permission which I can't give. 

Do they think I can work after my most recent meeting? Have I been put in the other group without being told? Or is this just a new thing everyone has to go to? I'm so scared and I have no idea what it's for or what is going on.

Please help....    
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  • Lasian_Alumni
    Lasian_Alumni Community member Posts: 659 Pioneering
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    Hi @Charliex8, hopefully one of our members with knowledge on ESA will be able to offer some advice soon.

    If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. You can talk to the Samaritans by emailing them at jo@samaritans.org.

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself.

    Take care
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  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,648 Scope online community team
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    Hi @Charliex8
    From my experiences supporting my mum, the Work Coach meeting is an opportunity for you and your parents to explain your current situation. I would advise that you take along letters from your doctor and the mental health team and anything that you used to apply for ESA.
    If you can't attend I would get your parents to contact the Job Centre as soon as possible. It might be useful for your parents to seek advice from the C.A.B as well.
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

    'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.' 

    Want to tell us about your experience in the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
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  • Charliex8
    Charliex8 Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Thank you both. 

    I'm struggling...but I am safe...ish...I contact the Samaritans quite often

    My mum has the day off so she can take me. I don't understand why they would need us to explain my situation again when I've already had an assessment meeting...I'm just terrified they have taken me out of the support group without telling me...and I have to wait 2 weeks to find out...   
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  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
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    Im glad to hear you are speaking to the samaritans and that your mum is supporting you.

    If you'd like to speak to someone about this, you could try the Scope helpline on 0808 800 3333 
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    Allo everyone hope you are all safe and well. I've just received an appointment letter informing me that I have an Health Assessment with a Qualified Healthcare Professional on the 10th September. I did have one at the very start of my claim 2 yrs ago but things have obviously got worse on my physical, but more so my Mental Health since, so I'm nervous about this one. My Mum is attending with me in the meeting so that's a great relief if anyone could help with advice or tips that may help I would be ever so grateful Thank you
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @Mill07,

    That's great that you'll be able to take your mum with you, and I really hope it goes well. I can get really anxious around the time of appointments and have learnt a few breathing exercises that really helped me to stay calm (especially when waiting outside). Here are a few:
    Please do keep updated and let us know if there is anything else we can do to help. :)

    Scope

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  • Silver925
    Silver925 Community member Posts: 106 Courageous
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    Hi just try to relax and answer as though it's your worst day don't hold back any information that might help you and them understand you and how things affect you. Sometimes people hold back feelings out of embarrassment but they need to see how you really feel so cry or get upset, rock, shake whatever you usually do as these are things they look for with mental health problems so if you do these things don't try to hide it. They note down all you do and say and how you look etc. Going too smart and well dressed might give a false impression that you have it together when you don't. You shouldn't have to if you take pride in your appearance but it all helps it all gets written in the report.Good Luck
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 54,025 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm sorry but i disagree completely with the advice of answering the questions as if it's your worst day. Please don't do this. Just be yourself and tell them exactly how it is. Answering questions as if it's your worst day is probably the worst thing someone can do because if it isn't your worst day the HCP will most likely notice this and it could go against you.

    If you always dress nicely when you go out then that's how you should dress when attending the assessment. Giving a false impression isn't good because you're being someone you're not.

    When attending face to face assessments you always need to be honest and nothing more.

    We only ever hear the bad stories and not everyone has bad assessments, there are good stories out there. Obviously when reading stories on the internet it's mostly the bad one we read because if someone's had a decision they are happy with then they have no questions to ask, so we don't hear their story.

    I've attended quite a few face to face assessments for PIP and ESA and never received a bad report. All the HCPs i've seen have been nothing but kind, sweet and extremely helpful.

    Good luck with your assessment.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    Thank you for the advice you have shared with me and I shall take time to reflect on them and see what happens. I'm so very thankful that I can ask others for help and advice as I've never done this before and I'm trying to build my confidence back up by doing so because I never opened up and dealt with things by myself Thank You☺☺
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    No problem at all @Mill07, how are you doing today?
    Scope

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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    Allo Chloe I'm ok thank you. I hope you are well also. I have just been getting things sorted and up to date but other than that just taking it easy. Have you been up to much at all?
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm good thank you @Mill07, I am on the forum today so have just been catching up on content from over the weekend. :)
    Scope

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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    Oh I see. Did you have a good weekend?
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    I did thank you @Mill07! Did you?
    Scope

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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    Yeah pretty good went to visit my little boy on Friday it was a good day. ☺
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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    My little boy is 10 and he lives in residential care in Preston as he has severe Autism. He us doing very well and growing up fast. I see him on a regular basis as much as possible, he's the diamond of my eye and we enjoy spending time together☺
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @Mill07, that's lovely that you are able to see him often! I'm so glad you had a good time!
    Scope

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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    Hi Chloe are you up to much today?
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm on the forum today @Mill07 and I have been editing some guest blog posts. What about you?
    Scope

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  • Mill07
    Mill07 Community member Posts: 27 Connected
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    I'm just getting a few things sorted and in place and updating things etc. I'm planning to take my son to a Railway Museum and on the Steam Trains on Saturday.☺
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