Sex, pain has taken the spark of making love — Scope | Disability forum
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Sex, pain has taken the spark of making love

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Tich
Tich Community member Posts: 2 Connected
edited July 2019 in Dating, sex, and relationships
I'm am embarresed about my body. I get very shy. I have osteoporosis, fybromyalgia, syatica, chronic pain disorder syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome. All these cause major pain facts aswell. And it has taken the spark of making love. What ca. I do? 
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  • wilko
    wilko Community member Posts: 2,458 Disability Gamechanger
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    @Tich, hello and welcome, you your self may feel unattractive or interested or able to have a sex life. Are you already in a relationship? If so it could be just adapting different ways, positions of love making where you can and give get pleasure from each other’s touching ect. You may need to consult with a sex therapist for more informative information and advice.
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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @Tich and welcome to the community! Thank you for bringing up this topic and I'm sorry pain is interfering at the moment. Are you in a relationship at the moment? If you are, is this something that has been spoken about? Having those conversations may allow more understanding so you can adapt things so you are more comfortable.

    I hope the community will be able to offer more suggestions :)
    Scope

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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,938 Scope online community team
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    Hi @Tich! Thanks for sharing this with us and welcome to the community. As said above, if you're in a relationship, have you spoken about this with your partner?

    It might be worth talking to your GP about being referred for psychosexual counselling.
    Community Manager
    Scope
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  • mossycow
    mossycow Scope Member Posts: 500 Pioneering
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    Hey Tich, 

    How's it going? Yeah... Totally understand about pain making sex harder. And about feeling self conscious... 

    I'll be honest I am extremely lucky as for all my much loved husband can drive me nuts he is extremely talented at making me feel gorgeous. And I'm no oil painting... And very overweight and have frankly weird fleshy bits...

    Anyway.... My point is that We're all sexy and loveable.. It's just  perspective. And experience too


    And our perspective is warped by what we see on TV, magazines, online etc as 'perfection' and what is sexy.... 

    Have you ever watched Naked Attraction? It's fab for changing this I think. Have to admit I started watching cos of pure curiosity... But it's great at making you see what really bodies look like. I get my 12 year old to watch it too... (don't judge heehee, I think it's good for her to see different bodies too) 

    Also, pain can make us feel unable to do stuff to and with each other too... So maybe try different things....take it as achnace to think about fantasy (cos... Er.. (blush) you can say what ever you want.. It can have desired effects.. And woohooo NO PAIN CAUSED! 

    So... How's it going? Are you with a partner or shy looking for a partner? 
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  • notsure
    notsure Community member Posts: 1 Listener
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    judging by your photo Tich, you will have no difficulty attracting men when they look at you, unless you have a man/woman.  keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and very few people have lovely bodies, so eve though you don't like your, if you are alone with a man/woman and the inevitable of undressing happens, they may like you, and no matter how imperfect we all are, most couple will not be totally happy with their partner, but passion just takes over and with sex, lust becomes more important that model looks, even though you are very pretty.  As for your pain, is there any position that doesn't give you pain?
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