Kind words to all — Scope | Disability forum

Kind words to all

bekindalways
bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
edited December 2021 in Coffee lounge
It's 2100 hrs... 

I hope that the moderators will allow me to make a wee statement if that is ok? There are a few things I would like to say, if I may.  (Yes, it's a need) not in the Maslow sense, but just something I need to tell others who may have been hurt by me. This is not a ten step thing because I don't drink... this is my way of understanding myself and conveying a message. So if you can allow it... it not only helps me but maybe others. 

@poppy123456 I am genuinely glad you are back and was also sorry for the fact that you felt the need to leave. I was not online to Scope for a while and found out you had left.  if any previous part of your decision was because of me, I would like to send a virtual hug to say that I am so sorry... It took me some months to see that you were in fact helping people.  I got lost in the advice/support and my own difficulties. I was never right to question anything regarding your commitment to the help that you gave... and give to others on this site. I've read your posts since you have been back and I am so happy you've decided to help people on here again. This is genuine. It's not a cursory apology it is a genuine one. I hope you can forgive me hitting out at times and know that I am on your side. I was very wrong and accept that you may block me or not believe what I'm saying... please try to look beyond that and know that I am sorry. It is so easy to hit out on this site (I only have this forum) because I've been angry abou other issues and I hit out at you. I can only ask for your forgiveness for my past misdemeanors. 

This isn't an inventory....it's an acknowledgement that I made mistakes and want to make things better for those who suffer and continue to suffer. Have a wonderful Christmas and my hubby and my lanky dog and I give you and your family big hugs. I hope you and your daughter are ok. ❤

@mikehughescq This is a wee message to you Mike. You give so much yet I wonder if you look after yourself.  You know already that I believe in the help you give others  and to be totally honest... you have the where and know it all to stand your ground.  
Whilst I have often said to others that you 'can' be brash and too honest it can be perceived to be rude and dismissive...... I am infinitely glad that that you're still here too. As I've looked back and seen that you were prepared to leave for your principles. We all learn in life that some things can't be controlled. You will be my go to if I need help. You care about those you interact with, in a factual manner. 💯  Don't ever change. You're a one of a kind person who gives advice for nothing.

I remember you apologising to @chiarieds for not understanding her name in here. And her response. The response was really kind between the two of you.  So don't ever leave this forum Mike.  If you are valued by one person on here, your efforts will always be worth it in my mind.  I do believe you are valued a little bit more than you think. So keep being who you are please. In your own way you are kind. 

@Cher_Inactive please send her my kind wishes. 

If this is posted, can I please send a big wish that everyone enjoy their Christmas this year. Times are very difficult and I know that people are suffering. I send my heartfelt and kindness wishes to you all. 

From a fellow disabled person who has made mistakes on here through lack of judgement and understanding.... 

I will and always will be sorry for any hurt I caused others. 

🙏

Comments

  • Libby_Alumni
    Libby_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,254 Pioneering
    It's 2100 hrs... 

    I hope that the moderators will allow me to make a wee statement if that is ok? There are a few things I would like to say, if I may.  (Yes, it's a need) not in the Maslow sense, but just something I need to tell others who may have been hurt by me. This is not a ten step thing because I don't drink... this is my way of understanding myself and conveying a message. So if you can allow it... it not only helps me but maybe others. 

    @poppy123456 I am genuinely glad you are back and was also sorry for the fact that you felt the need to leave. I was not online to Scope for a while and found out you had left.  if any previous part of your decision was because of me, I would like to send a virtual hug to say that I am so sorry... It took me some months to see that you were in fact helping people.  I got lost in the advice/support and my own difficulties. I was never right to question anything regarding your commitment to the help that you gave... and give to others on this site. I've read your posts since you have been back and I am so happy you've decided to help people on here again. This is genuine. It's not a cursory apology it is a genuine one. I hope you can forgive me hitting out at times and know that I am on your side. I was very wrong and accept that you may block me or not believe what I'm saying... please try to look beyond that and know that I am sorry. It is so easy to hit out on this site (I only have this forum) because I've been angry abou other issues and I hit out at you. I can only ask for your forgiveness for my past misdemeanors. 

    This isn't an inventory....it's an acknowledgement that I made mistakes and want to make things better for those who suffer and continue to suffer. Have a wonderful Christmas and my hubby and my lanky dog and I give you and your family big hugs. I hope you and your daughter are ok. ❤

    @mikehughescq This is a wee message to you Mike. You give so much yet I wonder if you look after yourself.  You know already that I believe in the help you give others  and to be totally honest... you have the where and know it all to stand your ground.  
    Whilst I have often said to others that you 'can' be brash and too honest it can be perceived to be rude and dismissive...... I am infinitely glad that that you're still here too. As I've looked back and seen that you were prepared to leave for your principles. We all learn in life that some things can't be controlled. You will be my go to if I need help. You care about those you interact with, in a factual manner. 💯  Don't ever change. You're a one of a kind person who gives advice for nothing.

    I remember you apologising to @chiarieds for not understanding her name in here. And her response. The response was really kind between the two of you.  So don't ever leave this forum Mike.  If you are valued by one person on here, your efforts will always be worth it in my mind.  I do believe you are valued a little bit more than you think. So keep being who you are please. In your own way you are kind. 

    @Cher_Inactive please send her my kind wishes. 

    If this is posted, can I please send a big wish that everyone enjoy their Christmas this year. Times are very difficult and I know that people are suffering. I send my heartfelt and kindness wishes to you all. 

    From a fellow disabled person who has made mistakes on here through lack of judgement and understanding.... 

    I will and always will be sorry for any hurt I caused others. 

    🙏

    That's very kind of you @bekindalways and definitely lives up to your user name on here! :) 

    I'm sure the other members will really appreciate this post and it's lovely of you to have shared it with us. Thank you and we also hope you have a wonderful Christmas too.  
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 28,334 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi,
    Thanks for the message and kind words. My reason for leaving the community was not because of you at all. It was for other reasons.

    I hope you have a lovely Christmas.
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @bekindalways I would just like to say you were very kind to me when I first joined the forum and I have never forgotten. I hope you have recovered since your operation. Take care. Happy Christmas.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,265 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @bekindalways - like yourself, I am grateful for the knowledge & help that Poppy & Mike (as well as others) give to this forum; where would we be without them? I would like to add my wishes that you have a lovely Christmas, & we all have a better New Year.
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 1,951 Pioneering
    I am wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! <3
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her.
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Posts: 8,838 Connected
    @mikehughescq This is a wee message to you Mike. You give so much yet I wonder if you look after yourself.  You know already that I believe in the help you give others  and to be totally honest... you have the where and know it all to stand your ground.  
    Whilst I have often said to others that you 'can' be brash and too honest it can be perceived to be rude and dismissive...... I am infinitely glad that that you're still here too. As I've looked back and seen that you were prepared to leave for your principles. We all learn in life that some things can't be controlled. You will be my go to if I need help. You care about those you interact with, in a factual manner. 💯  Don't ever change. You're a one of a kind person who gives advice for nothing.”

    Apologies. Only just seen this. I’m finding the new site layout poor in terms of new posts disappearing off the first page quickly and being unable to mark everything as read etc. so I’m keeping my input fairly low key. 

    I’m sure I’m not alone at being bad at receiving praise but “thank you”.

    Just to reassure you. I’ve been working from home for 21 months and it seems likely forever more. Instead of my daily commute I walk for an hour without fail, no matter  what the weather, before work every day. I can do around 4.6 miles in the hour if I put my mind to it and it’s proven a great way to manage work stress. Outside of that I have a fairly well hidden musical career which allows me to completely turn the work part of my brain off and most days I will have a book in my hand and listen to an absolute minimum of two albums as well as watching TV, films etc. 

    I’d be the first to admit the last 21 months have been hard but I’m doing okay thank you. 

  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    @mikehughescq Bless your heart.  You take care of yourself and please know that if one person welcomes your input.... it is one person you've helped. Walking an hour a day is good, but please reduce that if you feel any pain.

    We're all, as you say, guilty of not accepting praise and kindness... but surely you know that in your own way... you are more than kind.  Dont ever change and know that there is at least me out in the Ether, who truly welcome your contributions. 

    I hope you had a wonderful day. I stayed away because someone flagged me as being suicidal and couldn't have been further from the truth. One of the newbies mefinks. 

    I simply wanted to tell you (and poppie and others, that you're really good at what you all do.)

    Have a wonderful New Year poppet and please do know that you are valued. X


  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    @chiarieds I'm now in my bed... it is now boxing day and the first time I've dared to come on the forum after being told I was suicidal... jeez I'm still in shock tbh. I was trying to help someone and show some understanding but hey ho, my response has been ignored by the scope woman who said she would contact emergency services if I gave her my name and address..... It is what it is. I was in no way shape or form in the mindset this woman said I was.  

    In the meantime, take care, keep giving advice to people as you always do with aplomb and know that from my perspective, you're part of the framework... as are @mikehughescq, and @poppy123456 et al. 

    Best wishes ❤ 


  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    @poppy123456 thanks poppet for your response. Keep doing what you do best.... helping people on here. You have the respect of many on here including me. I do so hope you had a wonderful day and I am hoping that you're not as stuffed to the hilt as I am right now with a haggis belly....🤣

    Stay safe and best wishes for, hopefully, a better 2022 for all. Xxxx
  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    @Teddybear12 Hello my wee friend.  How are you enjoying your retirement. .? Have you found some things to do yet?

    Thanks for acknowledging my kindness... that means a lot.  I was really quite mean to poppy etc as I was absolutely new to this type of forum. ( in fact the only forum I've ever been a part of...) 

    But that is history and I've learned from my mistakes. I have always been a kind person. It's just my way.

    I've been spoiled rotten by the small circle of friends I have. To the point that I was humbled and in disbelief at their kindness and the thought they put into gifts I had told them not to give us. But hey..they don't listen....

    My neighbour who was my sworn enemy at one point till four years ago hadn't let me know if her granddaughter had liked her gifts. I waited till 7pm and contacted her by text. (Her da passed on boxing day 5 years ago) she sent a really lovely text back hoping we had had a lovely day and that her daughter was working so they would be having crimbo dinner today (yes I'm aware of the time...lol) so the long and the short again... I made her up two rounds of sandwiches because she hadn't eaten. I gave her a huge platter of Turkey and my well renowned stuffing and the works really. So she can enjoy a lovely dinner. On Christmas eve I sent my hubby with a homemade dessert.  

    Kindness comes in so many different forms.  You are a lovely person and I am sorry I don't get on here so much. 

    As for the operation.. physically I'm sort of ok. Psychologically I was a victim of a medical accident. But that is ok. Things will be sorted eventually.

    So Mr Teddy.....  have a wonderfu time and thank you so very much for your kind words. They do mean a lot to me. 🙏


  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,265 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @bekindalways - I hope you had a lovely Christmas Day, but am saddened that you were reluctant to come on the forum because of a misunderstanding about your post to cupcake88, a dear friend of mine. She is completely honest in all the continuing problems she has had with her mental health, particularly this last year. She posts to also help & encourage other people with such problems, & I could see you were also both helping & supporting her (as many on here continue to do) by talking about your own experiences, so thank you.
    I'm sorry for the unfortunate response you got, & the hurt it must have caused. As you understand it takes time to get to know members on here, & we all make mistakes, so hopefully you can forgive that too from someone comparatively new. I had wondered why you had had your post deleted.
    Thank you for your kind wishes, &, when you can, keep offering your help with the empathy you, like Teddybear12 , also show; you both enrich this community. :)
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @bekindalways I am glad you enjoyed your Christmas Day and got some lovely presents. Sometimes we can upset people without meaning to and please do not stop posting because of a misunderstanding. Is your husband still doing his little figures? Not done as much as I would like in my retirement to date with the pandemic. I have started indoor bowling which I am enjoying and have met up with a couple of friends. I am hoping going forward once we are able to start to live with Covid to start doing other things. Not decided what yet. I wish you health, happiness and love in 2022. Take care.
  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    @chiarieds What a lovely message poppet.  I requested the post be taken down as I had obviously triggered something in another. So it's ok. Better it taken down than continually affect someone else with it remaining.

    It does mean a great deal that you welcome some of my messages. I'm not perfect and I am still learning this forum malarkey. I've made mistakes but I'm not one to keep making them. I learn.

    So in the meantime, have a wonderful New Year's. I do so hope it's a better one for everyone. At least we were able to see friends and family this year. 

    Sending best wishes as always poppet. ❤ 
  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    @Teddybear12 Again, bless your heart.  Thanks for your kind words. I'm genuinely glad that you're getting out and doing indoor bowling.... when I was a child, I used to go to my local park as a whippersnapper and after playing on the climbing frames, I would go and sneak a peek at those bowling. The park keeper taught me to play for free because I really didn't have anything but hand me downs. I was 10. Remember the small circles carry the weight.... lol. 

    Despite being in a lot of pain right now.... I've talked my way into doing New Year's Dinner (In the evening of course...lol) so I am cooking dinner for 12. Its so worth doing it because its a long story best saved for another time. Its not family, but dear friends. 
    On the subject of hobbies.... my friend (neighbour.... tis hard sometimes how to refer to a neighbour as a friend and vice versa....lol) He bought my husband and I a CNC machine. It is mine BTW, I've claimed it.  So my craftwork has been given a huge boost yet I can't help feeling guilty from the kindness friends have shown me. 

    A dear friend who found out she had cancer this year.... gave me a viking bracelet. Antique. She knows my pagan beliefs and gave me a gift that cannot be quantified at all.  

    My step daughter met my hubby and I at 10pm the place she was working today (she's someone who works with those struggling and a graduate in psychology) and by chance was working in our County. I cried like a baby. She had spent over 18 months embroidering a photo of my two dogs that passed to the rainbow Bridge last year and three years ago. I wept at the work and the realistic work she had produced. 

    So I guess I'm saying keep 'a' going my wee friend. You are always so very kind to people on here and massively happy that you decided to stay. And please do let me and others know on here, how you are doing on the bowling green. 

    Xxxxx
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,551

    Scope community team

    I'm now in my bed... it is now boxing day and the first time I've dared to come on the forum after being told I was suicidal... jeez I'm still in shock tbh. I was trying to help someone and show some understanding but hey ho, my response has been ignored by the scope woman who said she would contact emergency services if I gave her my name and address..... It is what it is. I was in no way shape or form in the mindset this woman said I was.  
    Hello @bekindalways. I'm sorry the email you received has upset you. That was most certainly not its intent - our members and their wellbeing are always our priority.
    I don't think there was any doubt that your post was intended to support another member but something you disclosed in one of your comments worried us a bit. As a result, we felt the best course of action was to email to offer signposting and further support if you needed it and this was done out of concern for you, rather than as a judgement of you or your mindset.

    The team is working reduced hours over the Christmas period and quite a few staff are unfortunately off sick with Covid, so we aren't getting through our inbox as quickly as we normally would. However, I have seen your two follow-up emails. One requesting your post be deleted (which was actioned the same day) and the second sent for the attention of a specific team member who I'm sure will respond once they are next in the office. If you require a response sooner I would be more than happy to look over it instead. Please just let me know. :smile:
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    Scope

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  • bekindalways
    bekindalways Member Posts: 350 Pioneering
    Thanks @Adrian_Scope. Please accept my apologies for disclosing what I did. I felt it important to show that no matter the adversaries in life, there is always hope and a light. @cupcake88 needs kind support. 

    My email to Scope details what my concerns were in the contents of the email. I also know Scope have skeleton staff over Christmas and New year. 

    Please contact me through my email rather than posting something I really need to take issue with. 

    On a final note.... @cupcake88 sending hugs and kind thoughts your way poppet. ❤  Sorry if I upset you or anyone else xxxxx

Brightness