Hi, looking for help managing violence and aggression please 8yr old son

Lou1304
Lou1304 Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
edited March 2022 in Families and carers

Hi everyone.

I am new here, single mum to two boys and my eldest is waiting for assessment..possible ASD/ADHD. Inattentive ADHD possibly. He's 8 and a very sweet boy. But just doesn't listen. And doing anything going anywhere is difficult as he won't listen so can't get anywhere on time. Then erupts in a cloud of violence towards his little brother or me as he has got upset about it. He punched his little brother in the eye today. Out of the blue. Could have really done some damage. Doesn't listen to rules or consequences and I get that I am supposed to predict and anticipate triggers...he was upset that we had to leave the house today instead of carrying on playing with his friend..but life just has to go on sometimes and when he erupts he just goes without warning. So how do i deal with this? Consequences at the time? When I am in the middle of trying to get somewhere? I talked to him about it tonight when he was calm. He doesn't get it. Won't admit it was anything other than an accident. I have done loads of teaching about things we could do instead , we have done anger management books and used zones of regulation...he just doesn't listen to take it in. So just looking for advice please. If you have been in a similar situation with your child I would so love to hear what worked for you ..and what didn't. Thank you 😊 💓 

Comments

  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,536 Championing
    edited February 2022
    Hello @Lou1304 and welcome to the community. Thank you for reaching out here on the forum, how are you today?

    To help our members share their own experiences I'm going to move this discussion over to our Children, Parents and families category. It's good to hear that your eldest is waiting for an assessment, do you have much more of a wait to go?

    I'm afraid I have no experience of this myself, so I can't advise you directly, but it sounds as though you are already taking the right steps looking into potential methods of support, like anger management and regulation zones etc., though I appreciate your son is having trouble taking things in as you say. I'm not a parent, but I know as humans we often don't give ourselves enough credit- as I read it, you're already doing a brilliant job.

    Can I ask what support you're all currently receiving? And have you looked into the support that Scope can offer to families? Family Services include Navigate and Parents Connect, which might be helpful for you.

    Please don't hesitate to get in touch if you feel we can support you further :)

    Alex
  • Lou1304
    Lou1304 Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi thank you for getting in touch! I did use Navigate, it was very helpful and they signposted me here. Just looking for other ideas to manage as I didn't manage it very well yesterday...bit reading the Explosive Child now and that is giving me a few ideas. Thanks again :)

  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,536 Championing
    I'm really glad to hear it was useful @Lou1304 and hopefully the forum will prove just as helpful for you :) 

    I've not heard of the Explosive Child, what's it like? I'm glad it's sparking some ideas for you!

    And you're very welcome, please do ask if you need a hand with anything else.

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