Practical support and information
If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

challenging behaviour from my house mate

I have lived in supported living for 4 years and share the house with an extremely aggressive and challenging young man he may shout abuse to staff myself both day and night I am frightened and feeling emotionally drained my Mum has been very supportive and i sometimes come home when his threats scare me too much how can I get help 


  • vicki22vicki22 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    disabled person
  • buffalobuffalo Member Posts: 18 Listener
    my advice would be to keep a diary of the abuse. a simply tick list of day time event.  Then use that to complain, politely, repeatedly and move on up the system until either he is moved on or contained in some way or you are.  tell staff every time it happens.  Ask if staff record every time he shouts at them.  then write to Manager of the suppported living.  Write to the organisation that set up the supported living.  Write to your LA which funds the supported living.  Write to your local Councillor.  Write to your local MP.  And most importantly, log in to 101 with the incidents, and then you will get Victim Support to back you up.  You can call your local Victim Support yourself.  You should not have to put up with being shouted at ever.  Not ever.  This is called anti-social behaviour and there are rules in your supported living which should have protected you.  There are also laws to enforce good behaviour.  I do hope you can get an improvement in your situation soon.  
  • vicki22vicki22 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    I am writing this on my daughters behalf and thank you for your advice I have reported all of this to the Supported Living Provider who lost the contract in May when it came up for renewal. The new provider is much better but so far unable to change his behaviour. I have raised safeguarding on several occasions complained so much the previous provider treated me like a whistle blower it was terrible.
     Social Services have offered my daughter alternative acomadation but is is further away from her family and many of the activities she enjoys. She also has complex epeilepsy and her days are sometimes subject to seizures which require peace and quiet and sleep some of these activities are curtailed by the effects of her epilepsy. Therefore it is likely she may loose contact with these due to the travelling distance.
    Also the alternative accommodation is unlikely to be funded for a waking night as she would be living alone (Not sure if this is really what she wants) but we are meeting to discuss this August 12th.
    I am also waiting for an advocate to be appointed to her. I will continue to keep a Diary use 101 and write to councillor and MP on her behalf.
    she is unable to record what happens herself this is down to PA's and myself when I visit.

    Thank you so much for your time and advice vicki

  • buffalobuffalo Member Posts: 18 Listener
    as you have done all of the sensible things and more.  may be time to consider a Nanny cam.  also asking for Direct payment of her care package and looking for a Live-in companion - there are various services that provide this kind of assistance and CSV is one of them.  please don't give up; solutions exist if the LA can just be persuaded to be flexible.  thinking of you both, 
  • justJohnjustJohn Member Posts: 17 Connected
    Hi Vicki22 , please tell me this is sorted now. I am new to scope , I spent few days reading some nice things happened with people , some so so sad bad , at end of day we go home and worry , your daughter hiding in her room . I see you wrote this way back in August 16 . I do not even know if you sill partake in Scope , I hope so , your experiance in so important , you are not alone here . So many must be in similar position , I am quite sure the staff will be in a situation they also don't like  , they are maybe scared every time he raises his voice or smashes up his room . Group homes are set up with a lot of background work, lots of people working hard to make it work , risk assessments on everything , Risk assessment on what may go wrong . Now it's gone wrong the owner is possible lose contract , so wanting keep all quiet for long as pos . He is even making u feel like whistle blower , you done nothing wrong , you stood up for daughter same as all loving parents . Ask to see risk assessment , you want every time he shows challenging behaviour towards daughter documented care file . Risk assessment helps spot a pos problem . The young man showing aggressive behavious , He will maybe do time in a jail where I am very sure he dose not belong . I hope you got things sorted with positive intervention and happy solution 
Sign in or join us to comment.