What are some tips I can use to improve my chances of getting into a long-term relationship?

Splatmate24

So far hasn't gotten more success yet but been more failure over and over. I always seem to start right back and start again when it comes to dating. I can get men to meetup with me just fine is after nothing comes after and yep, I'm single. I been online dating and did have bad experience and also had bad experience with men in real life that I met at social events . Some men that I met at social events, I'm not attracted to some of them. I was attracted to one man that I did meet at a social event but did fade since he did stop texting. I had guys that i met online and some of them did say similar they were interested in serious relationship but after i metup with some men they were now not interested in having a serious relationship or longterm relationship. These guys were in there 30+. I have been ghosted more than once . I been rejected by some guys since one was looking for both a relationship and a sexual relationship and didn't send an ultimatum. I'm have not that interested in a sexual relationship but prefer to get into a long term relationship. I'm virgin to . I also put an age range limit on my online dating to 18-30 . I get tons of likes and some matches through our online dating apps/dating sites. Real life just dating sucks to How can I increase my chances of getting into a long-term relationship to be more successful?

woodbine

My advice for what its worth would be to relax and go with the flow, my OH stood me up on our first date we have been married for 42 years later this month.

Splatmate24

@woodbine yep done relex and chill hasn't change much and yep did go with flow still nothing happen to

Kimmy87

I don't think you need any tips, I think you are doing all the right things but relationships can't be forced, and a person can be doing all the right things but still be unsuccessful. 

There are some absolutely lovely single people out there where there isn't necessarily a reason they are single, apart from they just haven't found anyone where there is a mutual connection.

All I'd say if the process is getting you down then take a break from trying, and go back when you are ready. 

Splatmate24

@Kimmy87 yep i know relationship can't be force and yep i have done breaks multiple times and still hasn't work out with any men that i met through online dating and some that i met through social events .i'm not attracted to some men that i met through social . still like need some tips to with dating with online dating and real life dating since they both suck .

Kimmy87

I agree real life dating and online dating can suck.

I still think you are already doing the right things, I don't see what other tips will help you. 

Sometimes dating just doesn't work and that's not down to anything a person is doing wrong.
Just life and the way it works. 

Splatmate24

@Stomy yep i also went to like social events and so far i'm not be attracted to some of the guys . that i met guys in real life .can't really tell if a person is only being friendly or flirty in real life . i seen real life people as friends that also included men to . I don't really like tall men but prefer short men .prefer to have a common interested . i also had bad experince with men in real life 

Stellar

Dating in general sucks unless you're not a cis het allo abled neurotypical person in work. you'r

maybe taking a long break and not look at all might be what you need. love might come to you when you least expect it

Splatmate24

@Stellar yep i already taken multiple breaks for dating and still suck still . nothing has change at all. that hasn't work when you least expects it . it doesn't happen that way for me .is not the 90 anymore.

Rosie_Scope

Hello @Splatmate24, it looks like our members have given you some good advice so far and you seem to be doing all the right things. 

Dating does suck and it sounds like you've had a really frustrating time, but we are always here to listen

It's really positive that you have boundaries about what you want from a relationship. It's so important to make sure your potential dates understand what kind of relationship you're looking for right from the beginning.

It must be upsetting sometimes, but try not to look at things as being a failure. Sometimes something that feels upsetting helps put you in a more positive situation later on, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. On the plus side you are learning what you want, what you like or don't like in a partner and that's always good!

Do you have any friends or family members that you can chat to about your situation?

Splatmate24

@Rosie_Scope Nope my parents are don't have good dating advice . they already are married . i only got one older sister that maybe help and younger sister doesn't help at all . i don't really has friends that can help and i had previous relationship but they did ended some point .  my mum is one of stubborn when comes dating and i had dating or be in relationships with learning disabilities only and she refuse has be her way or no way then i can't even date or be in relationship at all . that was one my mum did said to me .yep she even comes on dates with me for safety reason .

Rosie_Scope

That sounds very difficult @Splatmate24, but it's good that you can always come to us on the community to ask for advice.

Mums can be very protective which I'm sure must be frustrating for you sometimes. Do you see your older sister much? 

Splatmate24

@Rosie_Scope not much anymore . my older sister got work and also has a partner and they  be death in partners family's . now i can't talk about it that much . that not much in my town with social events for learning disabilities . i has to go into city by train to get a  social events . 

Rosie_Scope

That's a shame @Splatmate24, it does sound like you're in a really difficult situation. We're always here if you need to chat about it and perhaps other members might have more advice soon

Splatmate24

@Rosie_Scope people can be completely different online that they are in real life and i also noticed that they some men don't approach in towns but i get more approach when in events that i do in town . is only happen once in my town . i has noticed them  some guys were checking me  out .

Rosie_Scope

That's very true @Splatmate24, you can't always trust people online to be who they say they are. It's so hard to tell without meeting someone a few times first and very important to keep yourself safe.

Hopefully there will be some more events in the future where you can get to know some more people.

Splatmate24

@Rosie_Scope is also can be very hard to tell when i do meet men in real life and i just see them as being friendly and not sure i see any men flirting .

Rosie_Scope

I think lots of us here might struggle with that too @Splatmate24. It's tough to understand what other people want sometimes. Everyone expresses themselves differently and some people don't want to or find it hard to make it obvious whether they're flirting or not. It's another one of those things that makes dating so difficult! 

Sometimes it's just a case of getting to know people a bit better or making friends with them first before you can find out whether they just want to be friends or something more  

Splatmate24

@Rosie_Scope i'm struggle to make friends to since i also had bad experince with some previous friendship . i just try to kept stuff to my self sometimes if i'm not sure . i'm ok with talking to men sometimes but get more nervous around some women since i had some bad experince with some friendship to . i had guys that did friendzone and were not interested in relationship but more interested friendship and gotten some men that want both a relationship and sexual relationship . i'm not interested in sexual relationships. i other men want to have a long term relationship & Casual relationships . i'm also not interested in Casual relationships or fwb .

CPJimJam

Hey therr I'm sorry I'm. Late to one and apologise if I am but I think it's starting small make a group of friends, or friend online through tiktok or Facebook etc then meet up either in a public place for something as simple as a cake tea or coffee somewhere where you can get to know the person bit also somewhere safe. Dating with a disability can be fun, but it can also be scary to. I have had a number of failed relationships now, but from my experience don't rush into anything and keep it local within 3 to 4 max and try to keep it UK baded. Keep talking and engshimg with that person set your expectations low then you won't be disappointed. Just keep hoping and gooduvk. I'm 30 and single it's hard but it'll happen one day. I hope 

honestjon

Splatmate24 said:

So far hasn't gotten more success yet but been more failure over and over. I always seem to start right back and start again when it comes to dating. I can get men to meetup with me just fine is after nothing comes after and yep, I'm single. I been online dating and did have bad experience and also had bad experience with men in real life that I met at social events . Some men that I met at social events, I'm not attracted to some of them. I was attracted to one man that I did meet at a social event but did fade since he did stop texting. I had guys that i met online and some of them did say similar they were interested in serious relationship but after i metup with some men they were now not interested in having a serious relationship or longterm relationship. These guys were in there 30+. I have been ghosted more than once . I been rejected by some guys since one was looking for both a relationship and a sexual relationship and didn't send an ultimatum. I'm have not that interested in a sexual relationship but prefer to get into a long term relationship. I'm virgin to . I also put an age range limit on my online dating to 18-30 . I get tons of likes and some matches through our online dating apps/dating sites. Real life just dating sucks to How can I increase my chances of getting into a long-term relationship to be more successful?

Like most things in life the more you chase it the further away you are.
If you forget about dating and concentrate on enjoying yourself and be happy with yourself you will attract someone similar eventually.
Just my opinion