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Hi, my name is older01!

older01

Hi, I’m no spring chicken and there’s much to say about my life - perhaps I could write a book one day!

I’m in a same sex marriage and we have a primary aged son. I have several ailments but I rarely complain. My wife is my unpaid carer, and seems to complain about her lot far too often. Our child is my stepson and I love him dearly. My wife and I spend little time together, and I try to encourage her to do something in the community that she might enjoy. Sadly she refuses, but blames me for most things that she can’t do. I have tried to brush it off, but I do feel trapped half of the time. I have a motability vehicle but rarely get to use it because my wife always has a reason to disappear with the car. We live in a semi urban area, but I am not close to public transport. I recently spoke to the pharmacist about paying for blister packs of weekly medication so she wouldn’t feel bad about forgetting to give me my meds if she forgot. I just want my life back. I am normally a happy go lucky person, and this post isn’t like me. I don’t want to sound like I’m moaning. Just slightly lost.

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Comments

Rachel_Scope

Welcome @older01 😊

I'm sorry that you're feeling lost. You're definitely not moaning, we're here to listen. Have you tried to talk to your wife about your feelings? Do either of you received any mental health support?

older01

I did do an online doctors appointment request and she called me almost immediately. She was very concerned for me, but my wife was in the house and I felt unable to communicate what was happening in my home environment. I think my wife is peri menopausal but it leaves me in a state of constant anxiety and confusion. I have seen my doctor after she called me on the phone, but I felt scared to say what was going on for the sake of my stepson.

Rachel_Scope

I can understand why you'd feel anxious if her behaviour is somewhat unpredictable. I would highly suggest that you speak to your Dr about what's happening. They can offer you some support.

Have you spoken to your wife about it?

older01

Unfortunately my wife shuts me down whenever I try to touch on anything that she sees as a personal attack. I am not attacking her, just trying to resolve something that is probably going to escalate without talking. She will walk out of the room saying that she’s not listening to this! leaving me bewildered by her response to problem solving.

Rachel_Scope

That sounds incredibly difficult to deal with. Would you feel comfortable speaking to your Dr? You need to make sure your mental health is taken care of. Maybe once you have some support your wife may realise she would benefit from some too?