This is difficult to put down in words as I never imagined myself being in this situation.
My daughter has just turned 9. Over the last year, she’s definitely headed into an early puberty.
Besides this, she has also become more and more violent.
She’s always had a feisty streak and has hit out at me a couple of times over the years.
But now it’s way out of control.
Unfortunately, I’m a single parent and it’s just me and her older brother.
A few years ago we had to completely relocate to get away from their dad, for lots of different reasons.
Yes, she’s definitely seen and, no doubt heard, lots of things that a child should never have to (she would’ve been around 4/5 at that time).
She’s an extremely intelligent girl, has a small group of nice friends but unfortunately has a really nasty temper.
Over the last 6 months I’ve found myself needing to lock myself in the bathroom to keep her from attacking me. Sometimes, I’m not even able to get there because she runs after me and pulls me to the ground. The other week it took two of my neighbours to get her off of me.
She punches me in the head, kicks me, nips and scratches me and has even grabbed me by my hair and to hit my head backwards and forwards off the radiator. We went on holiday at the start of the summer hols and she kicked off 2 nights in a row. Both times people were banging on the walls and knocking at our room door but I didn’t dare answer as I didn’t know what to say! This has become more and more frequent and her brother has been on the receiving end of it too. Most of the times when she’s attacking me, he keeps out of her way. I also think it upsets him as he is probably reliving memories he has from being younger.
For me, it’s not the physical pain that bothers me. It’s also like I’m reliving moments from the past too. I’ve been mentally, physically and sexually abused from being young and I’m about to start EMDR therapy for everything, but I can’t until this has stopped or it isn’t going to work as it should.
It’s also really upsetting that my once, truly beautiful and loving little girl has become such a way to us both. It’s like she’s possessed.
She has had someone go in from the NHS, to give some emotional wellbeing sessions but they’ve now come to an end. After this, the lady who worked with her gave the school a referral form to fill out (no idea if they have) with the NHS lady filling out the parents side on my behalf.
CAMHS have not offered any services as she’s down to do a “hands are not for hurting” course from womens aid. And because I’ve been signposted to parent workshops, which doesn’t exactly do much for my confidence as I already feel like I’ve failed my children.
Crisis teams are absolutely useless. It takes 40 mins to get through only to be told to lock myself away from her, but she sits outside the bathroom for hours screaming, banging and kicking the walls.
And if I don’t get away I can’t call anyone as she wrestles my phone off me and throws it over the room.
I’ve tried so many things to try and calm her down and prevent these outbursts but we’re constantly walking on eggshells. I knew the summer holidays were going to be difficult but I have literally no support network. I feel as if I’m probably nearing a breakdown as the last 6 years have been hell.
Oh, I’d also better mention that a few people have mentioned that she could have ADHD/Autism as they’ve picked up on a few things about her. Such as, she hates noise - she always wears her headphones even if there isn’t anything playing through them. Her eye contact isn’t good, she’s particular about certain fabrics and clothing, textures of foods. She doesn’t like having her hair cut especially at the front as she likes to put her head down and uses her hair to hide her face away. There’s many more things I just can’t think straight at the moment.
If anyone has made it this far, thank you and any advice would be truly appreciated. And sorry for the long post, I’ve just got no idea where to go or what to do next. Even my own support worker is at a loss as to what to do as we’ve exhausted every avenue we can think of.
