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Have you learned about yourself as you've grown older?

Jane315STARX

I think I've been surprised how much I didn't know myself over the years.looking back im both shocked at some of my behaviour but equally proud at how I've got through certain things.I think by learning about people and they way they behave,interact and treat you/me.Its taught me alot about myself and how I am towards others.I have learned that I still don't fully know myself.But I can appreciate my flaws and also some of the nice qualities.

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Comments

SaraC_Scope

@Jane315STARX What an open and honest statement. It takes courage to reflect on our past, acknowledge mistakes but celebrate what we have done well and how life has shaped us for the better. Thanks for sharing.

JD_INCINERATOR

It is lovely to recognize qualities the way you have. I've learned that you really need to be yourself to be at your best. I feel you shouldn't do anything without being who you really are because I feel like in many jobs and activities, you're goaded into behaving the way others tell you to in order to get along. For better or worse, it is best to be you in every regard because then you can find what you want and need more easily.

I started stand-up comedy a few months ago, and I feel happier as a result. I was quite angry and ragey beforehand, but when you get to tell jokes in front of people, it feels both empowering and exciting. I embrace having fun and being silly because I feel that's what makes life more manageable. People imbue themselves with so much stress, that it can really erode who they are underneath.

Littlefatfriend

Certainly Jane315starx,

To my mind (ironically!) life is all about learning. Trying to understand things.

My behaviour in the past has been very different to how I now act, but I understand both that I was younger and I was often responding to unusual situations. It doesn't surprise me because I can remember why I did it.

Equally, I wouldn't describe myself as "proud" of my achievements. I was offered both challenges and responsibilities and I found myself able to rise to them. That's just my good luck.

Many of us are fascinated particularly by things we don't understand. In the circumstance that we are each unique and guided by momenta only we can appreciate, people are practically unpredictable. They may always surprise us. I think that's wonderful! We're all learning, always.

Very few of us are perfect and I certainly wouldn't want to be. Where would one have to go from there?

😹

Jane315STARX

Such a lovely mix of comments which makes us the individuals that we are and certainly sounds as if we have all learned.I think being of a certain age i.e over 50 ( just) I am appreciative of certain eras that my son will never get to actually experience or live through.As to me life now and even the general atmosphere has no warmth in the way it had say in the late 1980s for example.I was taken back to a child hood memory by something that I came across on watching.It was people talking about 40-40 a game I used to play as a child.Simply playing out locally and innocent ly with friends when younger.I don't think this happens anymore.I know children play around and football etc,but there seems a very dark undertone and much communication amongst children appears to be through online gaming.So as I say that im thankful for

Jane315STARX

@JD_INCINERATOR im extremely impressed that you are doing stand up comedy.That takes tremendous courage and talent 👏.Is your comedy from life experience? Improvised or you write it all up?.Does anyone imparticular inspire you at all? And have you ever been Heckled?.Sorry for all the questions but im fascinated and full of inspiration

Nightcity

I have learnt that despite making a couple of huge mistakes, being a*used at boarding school, in relationships and originally heading between ages 13-18 down a very dark path, that with enough effort, stubbornness and determination It is possible to turn from a not very nice person into an honest, quieter and more caring one and absolutely nothing HAS to be set in stone. I sorted myself out around age 19 now at age 43 I've finally caught up and realised after 25 years I did actually become someone I could like but the memo that I'm not still in 1999 only just arrived in the post.

the irony it's only on here today with much kindness I've actually realised it!

Rachel_Scope

I'm so glad you've had this breakthrough @Nightcity!

Zippy1983

To be honest having lived for 42 years, I find you learn more about yourself as each year passes by in a blur. People say I’m strong, resilient, have a good heart, caring, polite, well mannered and easy to get to know.

But on the flip side is the person I see, someone who is irritable, quick to temper, moody, sullen, self loathing and don’t think I’m a good guy.

Having ADHD, ASD, EUBPD, Depression and Anxiety just really makes the waters murky as heck. Having lived with four of those conditions for over 35 years I guess I am resilient and a survivor.

Warning: Potentially distressing image

On my bad days all I need to do is look at that small baby and say you’re stronger than you think, you’re a fighter and have overcome a lot of obstacles and challenges in your lifetime. You have also triumphed over adversity against people and health professionals saying you wouldn’t amount to much, or you can’t do this, or can’t do that.

I use a Winston Churchill quote, If Your Going Through Hell Keep Going….

Jane315STARX

Its wonderful that you can see all these incredible qualities that you have.I do think we all get some of our better qualities from facing adversity.

JD_INCINERATOR

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085777#Comment_1085777

My comedy is from life experiences, but Andy's Man Club inspired me to take up stand-up comedy. I haven't been heckled yet, but I did a course in August and I started on the circuit in October. My first show was a Gong Show, where I had withstand 5 minutes on stage. I lasted until 4:23 and the reason I didn't make 5:00 is because I didn't use my best joke last.

Jane315STARX

I just googled Andys man club ( as ive not heard of it before).A very good cause.I think young men definitely need to talk about their mental health more in order to get the help they need.Im only speaking from the perspective of a mum with a teenage son .From this point I do things to a degree things may have moved forward from where they were say 10 years ago.Comedy is a fantastic outlet