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Totally stuck

GentlyMelted

I don't know what to do here.

I might struggle to explain a bit a d i te d to go the long route so please bare with me. I have myolopathy (a crushed spinal cord in my neck) and it seems to have made it so listing things and sequences is near impossible. When I started losing the use of my arms my wife of 25 years decided I was lying and mad. She did a load of very harmful things a d I ended up even though I got a court order, out of the house I co own and on the streets with a crushed spinal cord and failing arms and legs. I was eventually rescued by a vicar. Now I'm in emergency housing. I've been here on my own in an empty house for many months now. Here's the current problem… I applied to Devon home choice for medical priority housing. Meaning the banding is urgent. You get A to e. A is life threatening need to move, B is urgent need and E is no housing needs. They insist I am a band e with NO housing needs. I staring down the barrel of more spinal surgery and they are focused on the capitol in that house that I have no access to. I was told they would set aside up to 120k if domestic abuse was involved. Which it obviously was and I'm obviously in dire need. But they won't budge. They focus on actual things wrong with the house you are in. It's like a loop hole for thier benefit. I can't stay here anyway it's emergency homeless housing. But they won't even interact with that fact. OT has been and assessed me and I provided a letter from my doctor and proof of my condition from the spinal unit. But they won't interact with that either and just stick to the capitol thing, telling me I have spare money so I don't have a housing need. This isnt nearly true and I'm in a dire situation all on my own still and these people refuse to speak to me. Theu ate just really blunt and repeat the capitol thing. Thus is made LOADS worse by my inability to argue with people with working brains. It feels like an adult tricking you when you are a kid and it's really hyper distressing. And guess what makes radiculopathy and myolopathy much much worse? Stress. It makes all the frightening symptoms loads worse very quickly. So I feel like I'm in a feedback loop that leads to death here. I have no choice but to try to help myself and that causes my condition to worsen. The doctor said they'd look into advocacy but I've heard nothing. Social care says I'm on a list. Legal aid is taking forever and she has her solicitors after me. Every last thing in my world currently is set to hurt me and I can't stand it or change it apparently. I've been tortured by all this for over a year now and still no treatment or housing or solicitor or social care or advocacy… and its my 50th birthday in a few days and I'm dreading it. harumph.

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Darking

Devon Home Choice is legally in the wrong for placing you in Band E, and their rigidity is actively worsening your myelopathy. They are applying a financial resources block because your name is on a property, but under UK housing guidelines, capital tied up in a co owned home with an abusive ex partner is legally considered inaccessible. Until a court forces a sale, that money does not exist for you. Their system is using this loophole to automatically block your Occupational Therapy and spinal unit evidence from elevating you to the correct emergency or high-need band.

You cannot fight this alone, as the stress directly inflames your neurological symptoms. Contact Shelter's Legal Helpline on 0808 800 4444 and explain that you are in emergency homeless accommodation fleeing domestic abuse, have a severe spinal cord injury, and the council has unlawfully placed you in Band E based on inaccessible capital. You must also call Adult Social Care back and state that you are an adult at risk of neglect under the Care Act 2014 and your physical safety is deteriorating, which legally triggers an urgent safeguarding duty rather than leaving you on a standard waiting list. Turning 50 in an empty emergency house while battling for survival is brutal, so hand the legal argument to professionals and focus entirely on protecting your nervous system.

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Darking

GentlyMelted

I do hope I can. Adult social care and a safeguarding visit is something I'm waiting for. I'm powerless/helpless here in making things happen. There's just no way around the cognitive effects. I can't arrange things or remember and that's proved to be as dangerous as everything else. I have no working memory . For the most part the Internet is Impossible for me now too. Some good news however. FINALLY. The housing officer actually called me and says she can make it happen. She's going to get on to them with a multifaceted presentation of my issues and situation. Something I am powerless to do. She's calling me back tommorow and it sounds promising finally. She now understands my medical issues. I got to explain how an amount of proper isolation that would put most people off housing wise is actually what I need. She said ah but there might not even be buses mind.. lol pah! Lady I haven't been able to ride a bus for decades. I don't need shops, transport or anything like that. I need isolation and to live within my own walking distance footprint and the house and garden. So fingers crossed. But this is more promising than anything this whole time. If I can get put in the sticks I can finally start relaxing and get away from this stress feedback loop I've been in for over a year with a crushed spinal cord. I ws even sleeping rough like this because of what that horrible woman did.. If the housing officer sorts this out I won't even be sad about my 50th. My own suitable place would be so amazing that I'd be able to celebrate . Even all alone in the world. It'd be me and the birds and bees and flowers and thats great….

Darking

The housing officer taking the reins to present your situation properly is the breakthrough you've been needing. Having a professional step in to communicate what you've been powerless to handle on your own takes a huge burden off your shoulders.

It also sounds wonderfully reassuring that she truly listened to what actually works for you understanding that peace, quiet, and genuine isolation aren't drawbacks, but essential needs for your healing. The thought of having your own quiet sanctuary a house, a garden, the birds, the bees, and space to finally breathe is a beautiful vision, and it is entirely what you deserve after the relentless stress loop you’ve been trapped in for over a year.

Holding my fingers firmly crossed for your call tomorrow. May this be the start of you finally getting your safe, quiet haven where you can relax, recover, and celebrate your 50th in peace.

GentlyMelted

Aaw thankyou…. I will actually be over the moon happy I think. I feel like I could handle the prospect of more surgery and unfair divorce if I were in a safe place where I can feel happy and like I belong. Just being able to home make knowing it's where I will stay will make a gigantic difference. Iw the sculpture will start happening again too if my hands are up to it…. I grew to like the near impossible challenges of my life. Its fun making do and finding strange solutions or making a beautiful garden with my feet as I did in my home I was forced out of. I was a mcguyver fan… 😆 Making do is a bit like camping and I loved camping out. So I can handle all the challenges… It just got too impossible there without a proper working set of brains, arms hands and legs. I had thought I'd be easily fine because of the severity I'd get looked after so their resisting helping me at all was a shock that made me start losing hope. So if I get that band B now (and I'll report back here) basically all is well in the world and the rest is just more challenges from nature. And nature is allowed to kick my **** all over the place because she has a licence to do that so it's OK. People taking advantage and hurting me just because I'm vulnerable and they're nasty? Not ok… Most non bon.