How to tell your child — Scope | Disability forum
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How to tell your child

maxdepreciation Member Posts: 3
Just wonder if anyone has any experience on telling their child that they have a condition. My son is 8 and is Dyspraxic, and is beginning to talk about how he is "rubbish" at everything and we are beginning to see some self-esteem issues developing. The Educational Psychologist has suggested we need to talk to him about it. Wondered if anyone had any good tips or experiences they would be kind enough to share with us please?


  • Carol
    Carol Member Posts: 1
    Firstly, I source materials (specialist books, You Tube Vids etc) which do just this and look to see if they can be around the house, I can be reading/viewing when the child is near leading to a conversation. Many times the child has said after viewing or shared reading, "That's like me! ?"

    I answer honestly at all times.

    I only give the answer to any questions, ie not a huge lecture on the condition, the implications the future possibilities etc. The understanding and acceptance comes from regular revisiting of the issue rather than a one off moment.

    Time and place is vital, when a child is emotional or tired they are not in the right place to receive.

    It always has to be positive! Difference can be good, we value it in society but sadly not in school environments often. There will be things that your son is good at, these can be developed and celebrated.

    Using tech can help, using a small video camera and encouraging them to talk about what they can do well and what they find difficult (and what they try to do to alleviate this) can do many things a) give a chance to express their worries and by doing so gain a better understanding b) to provide a diary of growth and ability c) give a safe way for you to share agreed sections with other profs who need to understand and support.

    With one child we researched the condition (his idea) and then he wrote a book to help others (only 3 pages but the point was to work through his understanding really)

    Keep going....this is not a 'single moment' issue - he will need to consider, accept, work out solutions to many more aspects as he grows.

    Most of all, continue to offer unconditional love and support, he is perfect exactly the way he is :)
  • fairywishes
    fairywishes Member Posts: 25
    Hi. Unique (rarechromo) has a book/comic for Siblings but it is a great way of explaining how we are all made but sometimes people can be made differently, it uses the analogy of making a cake. The boy & his grandad follow the recipe but the cake comes out all differently - they realised that some pages were stuck together and that although the cake tastes lovely it is different and unexpected from what they thought they were making.
    I am just doing the same with my children it's a hard thing to do, but it needs to be done.
    Good luck
  • Hi check out: or which are aimed at ASD but the strategies are simiiar (listing our own strengths and things we all find difficult etc) also social stories can help
  • maxdepreciation
    maxdepreciation Member Posts: 3
    edited June 2014
    Thank you all so much for your useful advice. Really appreciate it.

    Will let you know how we get on.

    Thank you.

  • JimJams
    JimJams Member Posts: 174 Connected
    Focus on his strengths firstly and achievements and tell him he has a condition which makes certain things more difficult but not impossible and with support and hard work he can do anything. Re enforce his strenghs by doing the things he is good at more at the times when he is down, take pictures of good times and remind him when he did them and how great he is.


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