Is scoliosis my own fault? Did I worsen or cause it?

hazard6

Hello, at 17 or 18 years I had underweight at only 55 kg for a year as a male. Then at 19 years they diagnosed me with a 20° S curve scoliosis. I too may have been sitting incorrectly for longer periods of time.

Is that why I developed the scoliosis? Is it my fault? Could it have been entirely prevented if I had normal weight and good posture? Maybe I only had 5° curvature and through my misdeeds it worsened up to 20°? Is there anything I did wrong to worsen the curve? I just want to know if it's my fault because I can't forgive myself for getting a scoliosis and I feel guilty and shameful.

hazard6

Hello, I want to know what caused my scoliosis. At 19 years I had underweight of 55 kg for one year and at late 19 years we found a 20° S curve scoliosis. I can also remember sitting unevenly with my legs on the table and leaning to the side in front of the computer.

Did that cause and worsen my scoliosis? Could it have been entirely prevented if I had kept normal weight and good sitting positions? Is it my fault? Maybe I only had 5° and due to my actions and my underweight it worsened to 20°? I feel guilty about it. What are your opinions? My doctors said they do not know the cause and if I worsened it since it's an idiopathic scoliosis. Thanks for the answers.

Pippa_Alumni

Hi @hazard6, and a warm welcome to the community! 

Here on the forum we're not medical advisors and so we and other community members would not be able to make a judgement like this. However, do get involved with our recent discussions- we have lots of fellow members with scoliosis who I'm sure will be up for a chat with you!

hazard6

I just want to hear your opinions. Did I worsen my scoliosis? So is it my fault?

hazard6

I want to know if scoliosis is my fault, if I worsened it because when I do strength workout I keep thinking about my spine and how I think it's my fault and how I could have prevented it...

And it makes me very angry and I lose motivation. I can't give 100% do you understand?! I want to know what caused my scoliosis finally!! Was it myself who worsened it to 20°?

hazard6

I don't want any stupid pity, I can give it self pity and that's enough. I just want to know at best that it's not my fault because I cannot forgive myselfnfor having had underweight and then getting scoliosis because of it or because of some stupid sitting positions. I hate myself for getting scoliosis and I want this to end!

So is it my fault? Did I worsen my scoliosis or cause it? Thanks for answers.

deltablue52

Hazard 6.
Ive had scoliosis since I was 15 now im 66.
Like you I was underweight, and like you I did sit in some strange positions.
Its so easy for people to give you the wrong advice.
Its not your fault, and you did not worsen it.

Dont give up.!!

hazard6

Hello, at 17 or 18 years I had underweight at only 55 kg for a year as a male. Then at 19 years they diagnosed me with a 20° S curve scoliosis. I too may have been sitting incorrectly for longer periods of time.

Is that why I developed the scoliosis? Is it my fault? Could it have been entirely prevented if I had normal weight and good posture? Maybe I only had 5° curvature and through my misdeeds it worsened up to 20°? Is there anything I did wrong to worsen the curve? I just want to know if it's my fault because I can't forgive myself for getting a scoliosis and I feel guilty and shameful.

Ami2301

Hi @hazard6 sorry to hear you feel this way.

Does your doctor know what caused it?

I think we all go through a stage where we are adamant that the cause of conditions is our fault. I know it's easier said than done but try not to think this is your fault.

hazard6

I asked my doctor and my orthopaedic and they don't know if it's my fault and if I worsened it because it's an idiopathic scoliosis. But I want to know from the internet... did my underweight and posture cause and worsen scoliosis?

Ami2301

Unfortunately we are not medical professionals.. I understand how you feel as I convinced myself that I was to blame for my conditions, I also resorted into searching endlessly on the Internet to prove that it was my fault. I spoke to my GP how I felt and they said it is completely normal to feel this way. It's part of the process to accepting our conditions.

hazard6

If anyone knows whether or not I caused and worsened my scoliosis and if it's my fault, please tell me.

Ami2301

Have you spoke to your GP about feeling this way?

hazard6

No, I just want some answers. I can't stop worrying.

Ami2301

I strongly advise you to speak to your GP about how you are feeling, I understand that you would like answers but unfortunately there are just some things that cannot be explained

Pippa_Alumni

Hi @hazard6, thank you for sharing this with us. It's clear that you're feeling anxious about this and I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering.

Even for medical professionals, it can be difficult to determine what specifically causes somebody's long-term condition: sometimes there isn't a direct cause either. I know it's difficult, and often we just want answers- I'm sure many others here on the community will be able to relate! Instead of focussing on only the cause, it might be best to concentrate on making the most of your daily life and making sure you have the support you need. Do you have any support in place at the moment?

I also agree with Ami that speaking to your GP about how you're feeling could be beneficial. If you feel that you need to talk to somebody in the meantime, here are some NHS helplines that may be useful.

Pippa_Alumni

Hi @hazard6, I'm glad to see you had some responses to your concerns on your other post. 

Lliwen

I can't see how scoliosis can be your fault. Ill health can often feel like a punishment or a fault of our own when it isn't. Things are a lottery and I suppose things could be a lot worse. I have a bit of a scoliosis. It apparently comes from a sacro iliac joint dysfunction. Whatever causes things guilt doesn't help. I suppose it all comes back to self love and we all have a right to be here. Best wishes to you.

Waylay

Definitely not your fault!!