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Lost my fight

crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
For most of my life, knowing that I could recover from all my conditions kept me going. I knew that if I worked hard enough, I would be well.

I say "knew" it because that is how I felt. It was a truth to me.

Now., at 71, I realize I did not get better and cannot do it. THe quality of life will go down, not up as the conditions progress.

I can't fight any more and feel deflated and hopeless.

I know many of us have been in  this place. Can anyone help me to go on without that fight, which took so much energy? The dreams are gone now.

Replies

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 118 Listener
    You sound like i feel ...like you had a lot of losses and the thought of more is overwhelming? I would say to you that you said with conviction that you "knew" the truth ..you had it all worked out and it kept you going ....you were certain your hard work would make you well and now all you see is decline. inevitable suffering and a downward spiral? maybe you are wrong nowand basically you are comming to acceptance but thats okay because there will be a new understanding of your journey and im  hoping good times beyond what you thought was possible at this time x
  • Pippa_AlumniPippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,851 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2018
    I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling low, @cracker. I hope you know that even if your conditions cannot be recovered from, you're not responsible for that. It's absolutely not a personal failure on your part. We're all here for you, and I hope today's as kind as possible to you. 
  • exdvrexdvr Member Posts: 313 Pioneering
    @cracker....I've given the first 2 comments an "awesome" rating because they have the words to sum up the situation exactly.  I am in exactly the same boat as yourself at age 70 and it's not nice feeling that way.  I can only offer you my sympathies and best wishes for the future.  Take care.

    Best wishes.

    DLTBGYD

  • thenunnthenunn Member Posts: 3 Listener
    hello cracker ,sorry to read you're feeling so low with your situation it's horrible when all we are is what we've lost and how different out life's are from where we were or what we hoped for ..life doesn't follow a plan but always challenges us and sadly sometimes those over whelme us and were left feeling like you do . I cope by having a few self pity days ,I shut mys elf away lol,and then I remind myself there are others far worse off than
    N me ,that seems to give me back my perspective and motivation ,but I have to pace myself ,accept this is how it is now and seek out things I can do and enjoy ,even if only for a short time .
    I hope you come to find pleasure and hopes and dreams again ,give yourself lots of tlc ..best wishes 
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
     HI @cracker sorry to hear you are so low ,  we are all here for you x
  • Firefly123Firefly123 Member Posts: 525 Pioneering
    Hi @cracker sorry your feeling so low x
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    I am most moved by all the understanding and support in this thread. That there are so many of us in this kind of situation, suffering from it but coping the best we can, givers me strength.

    Thank thank you, everyone. This forum feels like a family and home I can come to every night.
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    edited November 2018
    @cracker  you are more then welcome, any time you just want to talk or let off  steam,  you just got to shout at me and i will be here to talk [ OK ] X 
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    @topshoes, that i s really comforting.. Same for you from me. I am not good at reaching out when I am really distressed, but will try to overcome that.
  • topshoestopshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    You are more then welcome @cracker , and thank you x 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @cracker How are you?  Want to ask anything I can help with?

    Always here. Want a chat any thing I suggest or advise. Listen to you anytime.

    Sending words of comfort. I know every day a struggle but we a community are here to be supportive, offer useful advice and anything else to assist and help you have guidance.  Sometimes sharing does help.

    I am have down days as all of us do. So use this really helps being here. You are a valued member of the community.

    Speak soon

    Take care

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering




    @the spiceman, 

    Many thanks for your c comforting words. This forum is my main support right now, and I am so glad I can turn to all the wonderful people here.





























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  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @cracker Thanks for kind words. We as a community are here anytime.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • FrankensteinFrankenstein Member Posts: 2 Listener
    edited December 2018
    Hang in there @cracker. Life/existence is amazing providing you dont let life win.

    Look for positives in all the negatives. Its surprising how much it helps.
    For a simplistic example. If i go to the shops to buy something and realise i forgot my wallet.

    Personally i go through a very quick range of emotions. A brief moment of annoyance and then I end up laughing at myself for being such an immense wally and then I remind myself that it has added to my day and made it more interesting, got me extra exercise and time outdoors etc and of course it gives me time to reconsider if i really needed to buy what i went to the shops for.

    Every negative has a positive. Treat it like a puzzle or a personal challenge to find the positives and make them outweigh the negatives because they usually do..
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Good advice, thank you. I do have major depression, which can make everything look dark. I will work on seeing how ridiculous I am at times.
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering

    @weavwe, thank you for your words. I think we all here are strong (have to be, don't we)?




















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