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Having no hope

Sholay09 Community member Posts: 94 Courageous
edited December 2018 in Mental health and wellbeing
Hello I am feeling quite anxious about going into the new year because I still got the feeling that nothing will ever change for the better for me and I am still worried about what the new year is going to bring. Also I really hate it when no one seems to care about me or understand me at all and this is really wrong and bad as I should not be treated unfairly or differently from everyone else as we all have the same emotions, needs and wants. I know that we are all different but still it is not nice for anyone to be treated horribly either and unfortunately I am still being treated horribly now and I desperately want things to change and for me to finally have a good life but I feel like I don't know what to do anymore as I sometimes feel like I don't want to be on this earth anymore as I feel like just giving up now trying to get people to help me and understand me. I just want people to say helpful and kind things to me and I want kind and caring people around me too. :'( 


  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger

    @Sholay09 You are a member of our community and we appreciate you. I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time, Christmas and New Year can be a really difficult time for a lot of people, so know you arent alone.

     If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at jo@samaritans.org 

     You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself.

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    Senior online community officer
  • EmmaB
    EmmaB Community member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    Dear @Sholay09
    The 'joyous' time of Christmas and the prospect of a New Year can feel difficult... The problem with the idea of hoping that others will help or say nice things is that we can't control what others do or say, so it's much better to try and find our own inner resources however tiny they might feel... 
    Could you try and set yourself some small goals for next year? They might be one off things, something you do everyday or once a week or whatever. It sounds silly but no matter what I always make my bed, then I know I've ticked a box!
    Is there anything you've given up that you could resume?
    Support from others is key to happiness, are there any groups you could join?
    Devising ways to help yourself is hard work but worth it... You could also ask your GP about social prescribing.
    Have the mantra that you can do this rather than one that says you can't...
    Good luck.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Sholay09 Sorry to hear that you are feeling anxious and not too good.

    I do understand the main thing I feel you have done. Is to talk about your emotions, feelings.

    Just to allay your anxiety. I do think the new year most people are anxious to start another year. I know I am one. Lots of the community I am sure feel the same way. You are not alone.

    I do also believe that as many people do about Christmas. I was on here most of the time. Making reassurances to several members. Who feel the same you do.

    Sometimes we need to consider ourselves not being selfish but think of what is this life. We have. We are born from birth grow up. Mature and become an adult.

    We need to think what is best for me. How can I improve myself, educate and learn.  Reason we need to think who and why the truth. What is the reason I am here on this Earth. This planet. What is the purpose.

    So to think and change that is a subject of many books, programmes and lifestyle choices. Businesses have sprung up around the globe and religions form the basis of what you are seeking.

    One main thing I would suggest is always the need to reinvent you self.  Something I am a passionate person about.  Since spending almost a lifetime to over come addiction. Then now realising looking back .

    Almost every day wishing and hoping that I had not gone down the addiction route of the journey of life.  Then getting into deep depressions and anxiety.

    As I consider what is the point of carrying on. Understand and was the same as yourself.

    Something happened and yes found my faith again but also realised that it has to change. I am the only person to do this.  Went into rehab. Changed, moved and altered my perceptions.  Made plans, goals and aims. Started back living again.

    Slowly my big one regret is still in my mind wasted probably thirty years of hurting and harming myself. Listening to others who wished to control me, domineer me, bully and cajole.

    You have to tell yourself how can I reinvent my self.  So end of the day. This is one life you have. This the one stage you are on. Do something for you. Be kind to yourself.

    Make and do something positive and proud of. Make a exercise book or scrapbook of achievements.  No matter how small it is be positive.  Be kind to those who may offer a helping hand.

    Success comes in cans not cannot. Also one piece of advice I got from my therapist which helped. Be attracted to radiators people who give you something to be positive. Up beat about. These help you, may guide and offer solace peace.

    Stay away from drains those that use and abuse you. Hurt and harm.

    Done the life story once wrote it all on a paper for a couple of months. Shredded the lot. Got rid of the drains and had new clothes, haircut. Moved away.  Rid of rubbish and tat. 

    All I can say .

    Take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Community member Posts: 5,209 Disability Gamechanger

    Who  is it that is treating you badly ?
    Why do you think they don't care about you ?

    Sometimes people react in this way because they also want to be cared for. Every one needs support at some time in their life. You sound like a loving person, have you shared you love with these people ? Treat them nicely, without expectation. Doing something nice for another will help to make you feel better and help to create a positive attitude, knowing that you are a nice person. It can be very hard to do especially if they don't deserve it, but that just makes you the better person.

    We are always here to help and support you anytime you feel low, you are a valued member of our community and we wiil not forget you

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Sholay09
    Sholay09 Community member Posts: 94 Courageous
    Ok thank you everyone for being helpful in my situation as I feel like I have got no one to turn to at all and don't worry it is not my fault as I have not done anything wrong to anyone at all. I just wish that everyone including the government would do more now to tackle the loneliness as well as the homelessness as everyone deserves to have a good life and to be treated better and to have people in their lives. I really want someone to give me more hope for the future so I can move on and be happy with myself.
  • Christine Tempest
    Christine Tempest Community member Posts: 2 Connected
    Hi there
    the reality is you have to fight for yourself and your rights all of us here have all had problems and we all get down sometimes and feel like there is no point ....but there is.....we can fight for what we believe in and there will always be a kind word or a hello or even a chat or reply from people on here a kind word anything but you have to fight too the only way things will change is if we speak out and change them nobody said it would be easy you have to fight and. make it change make it a goal to not be a victim to fight for what is rightfully yours and eventually things will change it just takes fighting and time so please don't give up Rome wasn't built in a day but there are some nice people out there too remember that which is why scope is here too for advice

    look forward to a brand new year coming and make a new start there are people out there that do care
  • poorsoul
    poorsoul Community member Posts: 50 Courageous
    Im sorry to hear how you are feeling this is such a difficult time for a lot of us on the forum I hope you heed the advice given to you on here and things improve.Everyone at scope cares and wish you all the best for the future I hope posting your feelings on here and getting feedback helps you I feel it does for me.
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