feeling very anxious about the past and the future — Scope | Disability forum
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feeling very anxious about the past and the future

onelife
onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
I am feeling anxious over my neighbour's behaviour with me. He seems very angry and abusive all the time and I have only ever been reasonable and considerate with him. Right now I don't want anything to do with him. Should I ignore him completely even if he says 'hi' should we bump into each other coming out of our houses? Really I just want to ignore him.
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Comments

  • EmmaB
    EmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    Hi @onelife
    It's really tricky when you have a difficult neighbour and stressful too.  I suspect that if you blank them it will just add fuel to the situation so if you can just say a polite hi and keep on moving that would be better than ignoring them...
    Obviously the best thing to do would be to establish what exactly the 'problem' is?  It could be a simple misunderstanding on either of your parts but unless you actually communicate you won't know and it could escalate. 
    Do you have a calm friend who could mediate a grown up conversation between you?
    Good luck with trying to sort it out.
    Emma
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,572

    Scope community team

    edited May 2019
    Hi @onelife. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so anxious.
    Was there a particular issue that started the tension between you both?
    If you're a housing association tenant, you could potentially ask them to mediate the issue between the two of you, or you could try here for some information on how to find a mediation service.
    Please remember to call 999 if you ever feel like you might be in immediate danger.
    Community Manager
    Scope

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  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    He has always been angry and offensive and I think it's just his ignorant nature. 
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    Difficult neighbours are never easy to deal with. I’m sorry you are having neighbor problems. I suggest you remain positive and calm when you talk to this neighbor.
    See if they can tell you what exactly the problem is and what can be done about it. If nothing else can be done then you might have to find somewhere else to live. Is it possible to have a friend who can act as a peacemaker or not? If they threaten you don’t hesitate to contact the non emergency number for the police. 
    Good luck. 
    Also look up neighbor disputes. 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    I think he is just ignorant by nature. He is also a motorcycle nut. 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    A couple of years ago I came home and couldn't park my car because he had parked his where I always park. When I asked him if he could move his car a bit he said "is that all your f*****g complaining about!". I was shocked. What sort of way is that to speak to your neighbour? 
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    Can you afford to move or not?
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    No I can't afford to move. I also seem to have a general difficulty not feeling hurt by others so maybe I am too sensitive. 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    Maybe I need to toughen up a bit then maybe I wouldn't have difficulties with people like him. 
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    What about meditation? Would you consider doing that? 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    I don't think he would take it to a physical level, he is just  a bad tempered and easily angered person. 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    Nothing has happened though since the parking incident. He keeps his windows covered up with blinds and just keeps to himself. I'm afraid just calling the police just because I don't like him would just make things worse. 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    I see what you mean, you don't think I am being over sensitive or that the police might think I am being silly? 
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    OK thanks I will definitely think about it and how I should explain it. ?
  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    I saw a psychiatrist today, not my usual one, and he discharged from the mental health unit I was having appointments at. I have arrived at the conclusion they are utterly useless. I am still plagued by anxiety and his plan is to discharge me. I won't be seeing another one ever again. I'll have to figure out my anxiety myself it looks like.
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @onelife I'm sorry you have been discharged when you feel the support is still needed. Has a plan been put in place to support you? Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help :)
    Scope

  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    No, he just said there is a mental health person at my GP surgery. He explained that there is too much demand at Beacon House and they are sending patients back to their surgery. I feel really let down and that nobody really cares. 
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm really sorry to hear that @onelife, that cannot have been easy. Have you accessed the support at the surgery before? Here on the community we care and I hope we'll be able to provide support and guidance.
    Scope

  • onelife
    onelife Member Posts: 49 Courageous
    Thanks I appreciate that. I have asked to see a therapist but I have not heard anything for weeks. To be honest I think I just have to battle on with it on my own. 
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    You're more than welcome @onelife, no one should have to deal with it by themselves. If you can, why not chase up the therapist appointment? I guess this would depend on waiting list times- I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
    Scope

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