Hi, my name is AmyRainbow76Fnd! — Scope | Disability forum

Hi, my name is AmyRainbow76Fnd!

Looking for some advice.
My FND was really chronic around 2 yrs ago and I gave my husband power of attorney. Just found out he's got into serious debt, stopped paying utilities and credit cards over a year ago, and hid all the post from me.
I'm so angry with him but he says he's been suffering from depression and wasn't able to tell anyone!
He's been caught speeding and used me as a possible alternative driver, but as he hid the post I have 'failure to disclose' hanging over me.
What do I do? I love him but how could he do this?
I'm still so reliant on him but don't know if I can trust him again 


  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 15,941 Disability Gamechanger
    I would take back the power of attorney he has totally betrayed your trust and implicating you in speeding could be unlawful. One of the most vital aspects of a relationship is trust and this is broken it will be hard to build this back 
  • AmyRainbow76Fnd
    AmyRainbow76Fnd Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Thanks for the advice but I don't know where to start and how much it would cost even. I've only been out of hospital a few days, and am bed bound, so I'm really lost atm. ???

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 15,941 Disability Gamechanger
    Do you have any family you can contact or contact adult social services maybe you can do this online or citizens advice. I'm sure some of the champions on here will be able to give you more advice on who you can get support from. Not many people reply at the weekend but I'm sure someone will help 
  • Tammyjane33
    Tammyjane33 Member Posts: 761 Pioneering
    Hi @AmyRainbow76Fnd hi welcome to scopes online community. I'm Tammy one of the volunteer community champions here at scope Im Here to support people the best i can. 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,465 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @AmyRainbow76Fnd - Welcome to the community. ''tho very sorry to read about your problems. I'll see if there's someone about who may be able to help. @poppy123456 are you able to advise here, please?
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2019
    Hello @AmyRainbow76Fnd   Pleased to meet you.
    Sorry to hear this has happened.  My thoughts are with you right now. I am here to be supportive, offer compassion and I can imagine your feeling  many times emotional, distressed.
    I am here to give some reassurance. You have done the right thing contacted our community.
    I am sure we can advise and help you as a community. 
    I am one of the team of community champions. We guide, advise and help support members.
    I am going to give you some links organisations to look at consider.
    Also I am going to add some more for your husband.
    He needs to talk to some one, depression a mental health issues is serious if not treated.
    The incidents, the explanations are a common trait of any one going through a trauma. Needs specialist care and attention. Please can I stress this. He needs also to speak to his GP.
    Unfortunately many men fail to do this.
    Please can I add my concern and care is you first.
    Please contact these organisations.
    The first one is a charity dedicated to your condition, information, advice and support. Very useful.
    The other one is finding a Solicitor to ask for legal advice and some guidance.
    Your husband needs to talk to a mental health charities. 

    Please if I can help with any thing further. Please ask happy to be helping, listening and always ready to answer anything you may wish to ask.
    If I can not let one of the SCOPE team will contact them on your behalf.
    Please take care, warm and safe.
    Pleasure to help you and meet you.

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,465 Disability Gamechanger
    @poppy123456 - Please would you give advice here, thank you
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,465 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @AmyRainbow76Fnd - I'm sorry there seems to be a problem contacting @poppy123456 so I've had a look online for information. This is on the Gov.Uk's website: https://www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy-guardian
    - Also from the same website where there are links to both changing & ending a lasting power of attorney : https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
    I hope this helps as regards the power of attorney issue.
    Not knowing who the car is registered to, & how long ago the speeding offence occurred, means I'm unsure if the following link will be helpful. Sending it just in case: https://www.gov.uk/speeding-penalties

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 29,732 Disability Gamechanger

    Sorry about not replying, i do try to keep up but sometimes forget the tags i'm tagged in and answer a different post, then i forget.

    I'm afraid this isn't my area of knowledge and wouldn't like to advise on anything regarding this. My advice would be to speak to an advice agency near you.

    For the debt issues then speaking to step change is my advice. https://www.stepchange.org/

  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,595 Scope online community team
    Hi @AmyRainbow76. It must've been awful to come out of hospital and be confronted with all of that.
    Have you been in touch with CAB?
    Community Manager

    Tell us how to make the community better for you. Complete our feedback form.
  • AmyRainbow76Fnd
    AmyRainbow76Fnd Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Thanks for replying. I'm still pretty much bed bound so can't even get to CAB. I've tried to do what I can by phone, but still in shock I think. 
    It would be so much better if I had family or friends or even if I could see my children, but I've not even seen my children since August. I live in the middle of nowhere and the only people I see are the district nurses for a few minutes a day. It's different people most days and I feel they just want to leave as quickly as as possible.
    I'm just so very lonely and unable to speak to anyone 
  • Ails
    Ails Member Posts: 2,256 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @AmyRainbow76Fnd and welcome to the Community.  It is nice to meet you.  I'm really sorry to hear about everything that has happened lately.  I don't really have anything to add other than the advice you have been given above.  Probably contacting your local CAB will be your best bet to see where you go from there.  Please look after yourself and speak to us anytime as we are here to support you and offer the hand of friendship.  I am very sorry that you are facing all this at the moment and can appreciate how upsetting this is for you.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on and if we can be of any further help or support to you then you only have to ask.  Wishing you all the best.  
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)