SHIELDING 2020 – An upsetting experience that we must not forget

JoelVsArthritis · September 2020

A month on from Shielding coming to an end, how are you all doing?

I wrote this piece at the time: https://joelvsarthritis.co.uk/shielding-2020/. I have been reflecting on it today more than ever as my son, who shielded with me for 5 of his 18mths of life, returned to nursery today.

I have very mixed emotions. I'm delighted for him to return to social life with other kids, but I'm currently off work the last 2wks with a virus/infection, which was inevitable as I ventured back out into the world. Being immunosuppressed, it fills you with fear and guilt trying to explain to employers how you were off work for 5mths as your treatment was paused during the lockdown and now I'm off because I've come out of hiding and have picked something up. One thing after another. Much like this year!

I had put my Shielding mini-series to bed, but if follow up articles on this subject still appeals, I could pursue it further to raise awareness?

Thanks,
Joel.

Minni69 · September 2020

Hi,
Can't be helped if your ill, I know we do feel so guilty though. Hope your son has got on OK at nursery? Take care and we must always think, health comes before anything, but not all employers see it that way. My 19 year old son started his first job last Monday since leaving college and he ended up with the dreaded sickness bug on Thursday, working with food and having to have 48 hours off, was panicking he would loose his job, thank goodness his employer was so understanding and told him he'd done the right thing. Take care Joel.

Cher_Alumni · September 2020

Hi @JoelVsArthritis

I think you are right and we should hold onto a lot of what we learnt over lockdown. A lot of us have been reflecting about venturing back out into the world on this thread that you might want to look at too.

As a fellow immuno-compromised person, I totally get your feelings about work and having time off. Has your employer been understanding about it? Please try not to feel guilty or bad, we can't control what our body does and it's important you prioritise your health.

I hope your son had a lovely time at nursery

JoelVsArthritis · September 2020

Thank you both, @Cher_Scope & @Minni69 - Dylan had a great time at nursery, made me so proud. Plus he had me crying at bedtime; never had so many cuddles and even got my first attempted kiss back when he sat up after finishing his bottle, said 'bye-bye dad', hugged me and laid back down. Heart officially melted!

Of all the things shielding did, it was worth it in the bond him and I formed.

Work has been great. I'm lucky enough to work in the NHS after some pretty horrific experiences in my younger years when my health flared. All of the guilt and fear is self-inflicted. I work too hard when I am well, and beat myself up when I'm not. It's something I've written a lot about.

I am trying to be kinder on myself, but I've had a rough year or two with my arthritis so feel like I am shortchanging people, they are not getting the Joel they signed up for. But at least now I am talking about it and campaigning for others - much healthier than dealing with it alone as I did since I was a kid.

Thanks for your lovely words.

Cher_Alumni · September 2020

Ahh bless little Dylan! He sounds adorable. You must be a very proud dad.

I can really empathise with a lot of what you are saying. I'll make sure to give your website a read but it sounds like you are dealing with things well, speaking out and being an ally to others with arthritis and chronic illness is a good way of reclaiming power. Make sure to let us know if we can ever be of support.

Minni69 · September 2020

Awww, Dylan sounds like an adorable little boy who really loves his daddy. Your bringing up a little boy, in these uncertain times to be a true gentleman to come. So glad he had a good day at nursery and sounds like he missed you today. So nice when they give you a big kiss and a hug.
Take care Minni69

JoelVsArthritis · September 2020

Thank you.

SHIELDING 2020 – An upsetting experience that we must not forget

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