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Advice please

jill50

Hello, my name is Jill. I am autistic. I am 54. I am confused, depressed and very anxious. My Dad died 5 weeks ago. We were very close and I am missing him a lot. He had dementia. I have been told I have to accept my inheritance. I refuse to because he was very confused during lockdown and changed his will, excluding my brother and putting a female friend of his in my brother's place. My brother then died not knowing this. His children would have inherited his share and my Dad would never have planned to disinherit them. I don't want any part of anything that I know was never my Dad's intention before dementia and that does not honour my Dad's memory or those of my brother. I've been told I can't refuse the inheritance or I will become homeless because I live in a council flat with support. I know my Dad would not have wanted that either but I don't understand why I can be forced to accept an inheritance that I know is so very wrong.

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Alex_Alumni

Hello there @jill50 and well done for reaching out, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

It can be a struggle to adjust, even after much time has passed, so if you need any ongoing support I'd urge you to reach out to Cruse and The Good Grief Trust, who may also be able to advise you on your query.

Can I ask if you are currently receiving any benefits? You may find it helpful to read Scope's information on inheritance and benefits if this applies to you.

Please ask if there's anything we can help further with, and we'll do what we can to support you

jill50

I contacted Cruse online last month because that had been suggested to me. A really kind lady from Cruse phoned me and I managed to answer the phone (I find phone calls difficult). She said they have a backlog of several weeks, sometimes months. Since COVID she said they only do telephone calls and zoom calls, and I explained that I was autistic and I don't cope well with phone calls, so she is going to refer the case back to her supervisor she said.
I get ESA and PIP.

serenity2

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad.

I’ve just experienced a similar thing not quite the same but similar.
I realise it is very difficult to make calls I find that difficult too. CAB are the ones who can help with finance and benefits, I believe if the inheritance is up to £6,000 it doesn’t affect your income ESA ..PIP is not affected at all as it is non means tested. CAB devised a letter for me to go to DWP and Housing benefit to keep them informed ..it is difficult with all the organisations now , they are quite stretched and it does take time and effort. Wait until you feel,up to it ..also it’s just a thought but is there maybe a local church who could offer some support to you with phone calls and to find out advice. You don’t need to be religious to reach out to a local minister for help and support, some offer more support than others.

There are sometimes people in church congregations willing to help.
knowing the facts will help you better decide what to do.
take care x

jill50

Thank you so much for your support Serenity. I really appreciate it. I think maybe I should approach CAB if they would be helpful. Thank you

poppy123456

Which ESA are you claiming? Are you claiming housing benefit and council tax reduction?

jill50

Yes I am. If I accepted the inheritance I would be much better off financially. I would never need benefits again. My Dad was very very wealthy. If it were his original will and my brother's share was going to his children, I would not have a problem accepting it. But I want nothing to do with this money because I know my Dad was confused and vulnerable at the time he altered his will. The lady concerned is already very wealthy from a previous friendship. She has never lived with my Dad. It just feels so morally wrong to accept anything. But I have been told that I will lose my flat if I don't accept it.

poppy123456

The problem you have here is that if you do not accept the inheritance you will be depriving yourself of capital, which will affect your means tested benefits. DWP and your local Authority will eventually find out.

If any part of your ESA is contributions based this won't be affected. You can give your brothers children some money but for benefit purposes you will still be classed as having that money.

PIP isn't affected.

jill50

So is it clear that I only have 2 choices?
Accept a lot of money that I think is based on a fraudulent will.
Or if I don't accept it I have to leave my flat.
I feel really sick being part of it all. I wish there was a way of it being directed to a Dementia Research charity.
It makes me feel trapped into doing something morally wrong. Then I get unsafe thoughts. Thank you for your support.

poppy123456

It's a catch 22 situation. You will only lose your home if you don't pay the rent. Your brothers children can fight for their share of the inheritance but they will need legal advice as this is beyond the help any internet forum can give.

jill50

Ok, I didn't realise they had the option to get it correctly sorted. That's incredibly good news. I will tell their mother that she needs to get legal advice.
It should be an easy case because the lady concerned has done this before.
That would make everything morally right. It won't bring my brother and my Dad back but at least it will all be honourable and I can live with it.
Thank you for that.

serenity2

jill50 said:

Thank you so much for your support Serenity. I really appreciate it. I think maybe I should approach CAB if they would be helpful. Thank you

You’re most welcome. I know it’s a very stressful time. I felt like every phone call I had to make was like climbing a mountain. I slowly got there, take care of yourself

jill50

Thank you Serenity, I appreciate your support.

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