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Hi, my name is ora!

ora

i am 17, i collect pip because i have ptsd, i have had a conversation with my parent and they were like this pip isn’t for you to get whatever you want, it’s for me to buy you food and the things you need. but if i need things (which is very rarely) i would buy it myself, obviously food is a different story but is pip for my dads shopping? and he tried telling me that i don’t have ptsd “it’s gone now” because i haven’t overdosed in a good year or whatever, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone i just don’t talk to him, i don’t talk to anyone. i have a girlfriend and it’s been so embarrassing when i’ve had panic attacks infront of her im even starting to get anxiety tics i’m pretty sure that’s what they are when i get overwhelmed my shoulders go up and my eyes start twitching it doesn’t hurt it’s just kind of embarrassing. the nightmares and
flashbacks still occur they’re not as bad as they used to be but however i still feel like when i’m walking to street i’m going to bump into the person who did it to me i feel like i’m always on guard i saw him the other day and i just remember my chest closing, my eyes watering and i just felt like i almost couldn’t move, i was walking to college and as soon as i got to college i just balled my eyes out. i had plans after college with a few friends and cancelled them due to this, they never knew the actual reason. it just annoys me when my parent is like “it’s gone, ur fine” and ive recently just gotten a puppy, and he helps me, i know it’s crazy cus he is a little bit of stress but it would be having a puppy but it’s nice i wake up early in the morning 7am take him on a nice walk and i feel like that’s the only time i’m not worried to see him it’s like strange although i don’t think my puppy would understand if i did saw him or anything it’s just kinda the only time i feel safe as well as being in my room but i do use some of my pip money to help towards him because i love my dog and he needs food water etc, but he’s threatened to get rid of him even tho i’m doing the best to ability taking him on 3 walks a day feeding him, water, bathing, brushing. i can’t help that he goes on the floor now and again he’s a baby and i just feel stuck. like i mainly want to get out of where i’m from because of the thought of seeing that guy who gave me this horrible feeling. (i know half of this isnt relevant) i guess it’s just kinda nice that i can write everything and i’m feeling and nobody will know who i am or look at me differently. i just don’t know what to do, personally i just want to move away from this place and start over maybe it will still be there but i feel like the worry of seeing him would calm down and i wouldn’t be so on edge all the time. but i don’t know if i am actually allowed to spend money on my dog, but he helps me he really does. my parent just thinks he’s a stupid dog but he’s so much more than that.

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Comments

Sandy_123

Hi @ora I think it would be better solution to speak to your dad and maybe agree on an amount set which you can provide towards food etc. The pip award is awarded to you.
I agree pets can make a difference and puppy's can have mistakes every now and then.

ora

Sandy_123 said:

Hi @ora I think it would be better solution to speak to your dad and maybe agree on an amount set which you can provide towards food etc. The pip award is awarded to you.
I agree pets can make a difference and puppy's can have mistakes every now and then.

however my dad thinks i shouldn’t be spending my pip on my dog, which i just don’t know what to do to be honest

Sandy_123

You can spend your pip on anything you like there are no set rules what you can or cannot spend it on