Left behind? - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
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Left behind?

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  • laila
    laila Community member Posts: 48 Connected
    Hi Kenny, I ve been struggling all my life and I have never given up.I remember once I was having a lesson of swimming and I wanted  to croll but I couldn't so the coach told me:"listen, it happens in the mind" it s true I forgot about being diabled and kept on trying until I found my own way of doing it.
       We need to create opportunities because if we keep waiting for others to do things for us, we keep on being weak.
      Whatever you do will give you pleasure,drawing, writing stories,articles for magazines..
     Up to you to find something, urge the strength that exists in you and you will be surprised to see how much you can do.
     My brother is also a diabled who drives a car, he a married with children, he walks with sticks.
     good courage



  • kenny
    kenny Community member Posts: 74 Courageous
    Thanks laila, glad you have made a success of what you do in life. My problem is finding friends, I  am confined to a ♿ and that's not easy I am not after pity, I do try to get out and about such as the gym, bingo, football etc. Non disabled people don't really want to be bothered, who wants to go out with someone they may have to push, or help with the toilet? Not many I have not found any yet! I would like to go out with mates for nights out etc but have not yet found this possible x
  • laila
    laila Community member Posts: 48 Connected
    Don't give up Kenny, I understand what you're feeling. Anyway , you don t want just an adventure but someone who would stay and this requires time even for normal people.
      Believe me, men sometimes need more someone who understands them than a well built body.
    Good luck.
  • the_velvet_girl
    the_velvet_girl Community member Posts: 107 Courageous
    Hi Kenny,
    When I started at college years ago, I had a PA who was supposed to support me with keeping my room tidy & getting books from the library but I used her mostly for support for clubbing! She would help me carry drinks, get ready to go out & help me move around the club. It was a good way of my new friends seeing me as an equal rather than someone that needs looked after. I also enjoyed the company & it was good to have someone to just go for a coffee with if all my friends were busy.
  • kenny
    kenny Community member Posts: 74 Courageous
    Hi velvtgirl I'm glad you found a way around the problems that we all have of being accepted into society. The point I was trying to Make was that while people I grew up with went to form relationships, have kids get jobs, drive cars etc, because of my disability in was unable to do these things and feel my life has not developed because of the fact I am physically disabled
  • Dasiydo
    Dasiydo Community member Posts: 93 Courageous
    Now thing go? I hope after today all the cut back to Disability benefit stop soon I going move on with my new life as voluntary 
    V.shaw
  • stedychefs2015
    stedychefs2015 Community member Posts: 9 Listener



    Here at Stedychefs cookery school we are always wanting to create new opportunities. With a passion for food we could give you the skills to take into employment and day to day life. Not only will you meet new people but the chance of a career could be made. 

    Interested or want more information give us a call 0151 364 3307

  • Dasiydo
    Dasiydo Community member Posts: 93 Courageous
    I think it wrong disability and recovery Meath health  are  having disability benefits like e.g was help in  Longton shop as missing my friends there but October cut pubic transport be no more buses after 830pm So now turn down evering job for scrop and  making space but won't give up
    V.shaw
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    The life you are referring to missing out on is more of a daydream, I'm afraid. At 20 I was perfectly healthy, got married, got a house and 2 kids but over the next 16 years there were more downs than ups and then my wife ripped it all up and threw it away. 4 years later I started again. Wife, house, kid, basically what you are supposed to have but this wife constantly made a war out of it. She cheated constantly, beat me up all the time and then also ripped it up and threw it away. Undeterred I tried a third time (not married this time though). All was going well for a couple of years until I started getting ill. She walked out just before I had major surgery. For 8 years I would have nothing to do with women as I slowly got worse and worse but I have begun again to be a part of the social world this year. However, I am not going to risk another relationship because I have found that the healthy women I am attracted to are scared off by the idea of a wheelchair and the disabled women I have liked I could never look after the way I feel I should.

    48 years of normal life and 12 as disabled and, to be honest, I think I have had more good times without all the bad in the last 12 rather than the 28 between 20 and 48. Admittedly I still have some mobility and can drive for up to an hour but that wont last for more than a few more years.

    Now any woman in my life has to accept friendship only and still the friendships fail because the better the friendship the more they wish to make out of it.

    I also found out that all but one friend couldn't cope with me being disabled. So all I had left was the 1 and that had always been a sometime friendship anyway.

    A 'normal life' isn't all it's cracked up to be.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • basiclee08
    basiclee08 Community member Posts: 66 Courageous
    I have Lost some Friends since my Acident But more than Replaced them with new ones. for me It took me a while to Learn to be comfortable in my own skin Again. If i am honest I for a while could'nt accept the possibility of being Disabled  and had it in my head i would get back to my old self. Never was going to happen but i think i had to go thru that process of acceptence of who I am Now and my Abilities.A lot of old friends I have been friends with  for years dropped off Radar that's their problem me i am happy and content and making new friends as i continue my journey now being disabled. I am now even working and loving it thou had to adapt and now work in a office.Great work mates I  now have been working full time for 4 months. Don't get me Wrong took me nearly 3 years to get to were I am now. and still Learning but enjoying doing so. Keep Faith and you Will get there Eventually. cheers Lee

Brightness