Hi I have posted on this forum in the past but I don't really have a lot of support in my life and don't know where to turn.
I am struggling with the death of my mum as she passed away last December, I start a new job tomorrow and I know that one way or another I am going to either self sabotage and not be able to sustain it, just like all areas of my life... I've always done this due to my autism and BPD and PTSD amongst other things.
I feel extremely alone and stuck, I hate lashing out verbally at everyone and pushing people away, I've just gotten out of an abusive relationship and he got with me again as soon as my mum passed away as I was more vulnerable, I was cohersed into losing a baby and mentally that has affected me and him and his mum have made my life hell ever since.
I feel like I am not good enough and I truly hate myself and how my life is heading, I'm extremely low and feel alone.
Can anyone please help me?