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Sick and tired (of being sick and tired)

AmyRLS

What are your coping tips for when you’re in the part of the grief cycle where you’re yelling/sobbing “I don’t want to be ill any more!”?
How do you get back to feeling positive about playing the cards you have rather than lamenting not having a better hand?

This feeling comes around for me once or twice a year.

I’m finding it difficult to be grateful for what I am able to do, because I’m so focused on what I can’t do, and how frustratingly slow my progress towards my goals is.
I want so badly to be able to drive myself around, to walk to an office every morning, to hang out with colleagues after work, to save money to buy a house, to know I can do a hobby regularly every week. But I can’t, and it hurts.

(I’m on a waiting list for NHS talking therapy and I know from experience I’m not in a bad place mentally right now, so that’s good! But ya know, I still feel sh*te XD)

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Comments

Rosie_Scope

Hi @AmyRLS, welcome to the community. That's a tough one! I've definitely experienced that myself. I personally think it's quite a natural way to feel for anyone who's living with chronic stuff they can't control, because it is a bit rubbish and there's a lot to complain and grieve about!

The feeling of grief might always be there, but doesn't have to be heavy all the time. Do you have any supportive friends or family you can rant about things to?

Sometimes I just find it's best to feel it all. Admit that life feels a bit rubbish. Be as irritated and angry and sad as I need to be for a few days to let it all out and then slowly come round to things again when I feel ready.

Once I've let it out I do try and find little things that I am grateful for, or things that bring me joy and note them down somewhere. I build up from just one thing to as many as I can manage in a day. If I can't find something big, I pick something stupid like "being under a blanket" or "wearing nice socks". "Squirrels have tiny hands" was one thing I wrote once, anything to bring a tiny bit of joy in the desperation 😂

One person suggested having a jar of joy where you pop in little bits of paper with reminders of things that make you feel happy and unwrap them when you're not feeling good. I haven't tried that yet but it sounds like a nice idea.

Therapy does help me with unloading some of the stuff that builds up over time too. But just getting the feelings off your chest with someone who cares can help.

I hope being on the community can bring you some support and friendship 😊

noonebelieves

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/994283#Comment_994283

@Rosie_Scope what a sweet post. Truly touched my heart . I truly empathise with all people suffering with mental health and hope we all(including @AmyRLS and myself)can adopt these tips from you. take care and keep your head held up high. We all deserve happiness….

onedayatatime

@AmyRLS I came to read your post 'Sick and tired of being sick and tired' as it is something that I can at times definitely relate to 🤗

I left thinking WOW! Squirrels really do have tiny hands!! @Rosie_Scope

Sending positive vibes to you @AmyRLS

DFDone

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/130811/sick-and-tired-of-being-sick-and-tired

Ive been very ill for five years, lungs are bad Remember your worth it, look who you are and what your beliefs and moral structure gives to you and others, also what and how you can help others going through similar times Remembering your value in all areas even if some you are struggling in, makes you a stronger and more able person to go forward. If we didnt have our down times we wouldnt be ill. YOUR NOT ALONE.