Cruel comments

Andi66

Both myself and my daughter has autism, she has bpd. I'm a single mum and she is grown up living back with me. She has been going through some difficults, with other people but she dosent tell me anything. She tells her her friends. I said for her to tell me more she said I wouldn't understand, I'm too autistic. I'm a terrible mum. I don't understand emotions, she doesn't either. When I ask about anything she gets angry. She's called me retarded.

I've got ptsd from what I've been through. She's been violent in the past, and her dad , we spilt up before she was born . Just feel so hurt. She says that I should get out more. Instead of staying in. I'm in constant pain. So don't want too, plus I prefer to stay in. I get nervous going out to town

anisty

Well, being autistic both of you, you will be great at understanding rules!

And if your adult daughter is back in your house, the rule has to be that she keeps nasty comments to herself.

If she absolutely needs an outlet for nasty comments, she can write them on a bit of paper and keep them in a box for herself.

She will need to respect your feelings and your house. You can tell her straight so she understands.

Otherwise, she finds somewhere else to live.

Bluebell21

Hi @Andi66 How do you feel about your daughter living with you? It does have to work for you both.

It is your home and your safe place and your daughter needs to respect that.

Please take care of yourself.

Catherine21

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/131753/cruel-comments

It's hard really hard I'm very close to my daughter now but growing up her dad turned her against Me she spent most of her time living with her dad my mental health was always used against me as a mother he told lies to everyone I don't think I will ever recover emotionally from the pain I felt as I let my daughter down I used to go to school to pick her up which I promised her I would and the dad would tell teachers not to let her go there wasn't any court ruling to say I couldn't I was so scared of him many times git bus home in tears worried how my daughter coping as he didn't care for her mental wellbeing just punishing me for leaving him when she was 16 came to me she used to say hurtful things as she was hurting it's so hard many harsh words said when someone's splitting angryI have bpd god the things I'd say when I was upset I couldn't control myself and the rages mental health is so real so destructive many words I've said to my dad I didn't mean I just didn't know how to handle my emotions with age a bit better it's hard to say don't take it personally because it does hurt it trying to break the circle which is hard

Andi66

She came back in 23, I'm nor sure if it's the bpd.

Andi66

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1005283#Comment_1005283

So sorry you went through that,

Catherine21

I'm sure you are not a useless mum because if you was it wouldn't hurt you it's such stressful times and you and your daughter going through your own fears worries so it's easy to get into arguments and because we feel so low we blame ourselves I know if I lived with my dad as much as I love him would be many many disagreements sometimes I find it unbearable to speak if I'm hyper focusing in my head your going through alot with worry and anxiety it makes life unbearable don't be hard on yourself we are only human

Andi66

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1005309#Comment_1005309

Thank you