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Should I send my boyfriend’s mom a Mother’s Day card?

KathyMoran

So Mother’s Day is next weekend (oops) and I cant decide if I should send my boyfriend’s mom a card or a little note. We’ve been dating for 8 months, but his parents adore me and want to see me every time I’m in town #distance I should get moving since postal services might be backed up (more than normal) this week. HELP ME:

😂 oh my gosh please don’t, you weirdo. You’re not engaged or married and that’s creepy.
💚 Do it! It’s a sweet gesture. She raised an awesome guy, and he’s her only kid while my mom gets a group effort.
😯 Tell him to tell her for you the day of because it’s simple and you have no obligation.

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Comments

hmass01

I personally would perhaps send some flowers on the day, nothing to grand, as you will be setting a precedent.

Ostia

Ooo personally I wouldn't because even tho they like you, you haven't been seeing the boyfriend very long really..and are not yet family....but if you are visiting with the boyfriend it may be appropriate to verbally say happy mother's day to her, and that you appreciate what a great person she is...

It may embarrass your boyfriend if you do more than that...sounds like you see the relationship.as permanent but he may feel more cautious at this stage...

Hope that helps, but does not offend you. It's great you get on with his mother and family and I hope it all works out with the boyfriend if that is what you both want. Best wishes, A x

Otteline

No she is not your mother. Make sure he sends one though!

yves

Personally , I wouldn't at such an early stage in a relationship and not being family. You must do what you feel is right, why not discuss it with your boyfriend?

Motzart

No definately not. It might give him cold feet and wave you bye bye. Way too soon to ever do that

JennieWren

I’d suggest you ask him what he thinks. As a parent of an adult I would receive it with the thought and graciousness that you’ve thought of me. However I cosigned a birthday card for my now in laws when we’d been going out for months - they went ape and it was really awkward, although I did ask him and he said it’d be great us both signing it. So now I’m second guessing myself. Perhaps a notecard, rather than Mother’s Day card, with a note saying how much you appreciate the work she put into raising and mothering your boyfriend and say how wonderful he is and that you know kids don’t just turn out that way it takes time and effort.

HappyDays62

At this stage of the relationship, I would find it odd if my Son's girlfriend sent me one. After all, she's not your mum. Fuss your mum is my best advice. It's a very kind thought, though…

birdwatcher

.it's a lovely thought but I personally wouldn't. Nothing stopping you buying them a box of chocolates or similar if you're visiting mothering Sunday weekend

birdwatcher

Now I think about it, my son and his partner have been together about 15 years and she's never sent me anything! Only thanks me for her birthday presents because I had a go at her for not doing . I'm old school , please and thank you are important to me.

anisty

I've been with my husband almost 40 years now and have never sent my MIL anything on Mother's day.

Not unless you count the numerous times hubby asked me to pick a card for him to sign!

My own Mum died when i was 20 years old back in 1987 so i should think the last card i bought was 1986.

My DIL doesn't send me anything and, tbh, i'd think it a bit odd if she did.

Maybe in future if you get very close to your boyfriend's Mum and if your own Mum has passed, it could be appropriate.

anisty

Ps - i have noticed a lot of posts lately on Scope which make me think the poster is American due to them using "Mom"

But i know Mother's day is celebrated on a different day in the America so guessing you are UK, @KathyMoran? Where in the UK do they use Mom?!

Or do we have a lot of American posters on Scope🧐🙂

anisty

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1007127#Comment_1007127

Ah yes, i know Mam is used in a few places - around Newcastle is another spot.

I'm from NW England originally (oldham) and it was Mum for us there.

@Ranald - Mother's day has been on the go in the UK long before i was born in the 60s. How ancient are you exactly to be able to recall it being imported from the U.S?!

I do remember life pre Father's day. Wasn't that a 70s thing?

anisty

16th century in the UK @Ranald - are you fossil or dinosaur?🤣

anisty

Ha ha yes it is @noman. And buses are buzzes. Playing truant from school was "bunking off" in Oldham but "wagging it" in Ashton.

Fond memories. I moved to Scotland in 1986 and have only been back to Oldham once since then.