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Feeling weak and tired.

ryleyyg

idk where to start, I like coming on here to rant because I have no one else I can speak too.

I live in a flat with my mum and brother. Who brother works weird shifts shifting from night shifts day shifts etc.its really irritating because some nights he doesn’t let me sleep.he vapes and he coughs non stop loudly.
when I ask him nicely to stop he either swears at me or tells me to stop playing with his temper or he will lose it..

They apparently don’t like it when I leave my room too because I apparently ruin everything?

my mums an alcoholic she claims she isn’t but she is.my brother also drinks beer too.goes out partying almost every weekend spunking his money.
he sleeps with his tv on and when I ask him nicely to turn it down he gets aggressive and I usually never get any barely any sleep now.
apparently I am rude and moody.
when I need help for my depression they just say take antidepressants or get help. Which I am doing therapy.

but I believe the reason I have low moods is because they’re affecting me by digging at me sort of bullying me etc.

my brother gets away with a lot more than me, because my mum says he works.
I’m like mum I do volunteering. And you know what I do.
they have genuinely drained me to the point even my body feels weak and tired. I’ve noticed I’m sleeping more during the day too. Just to pass time.

my dad never listens to me when I speak to him. But gets annoyed when I turn my siblings down from them spamming me with invites to play Fortnite when I don’t want too.
im saving to move out but I genuinely don’t know how long I can live like this day in and day out anymore.

I drink energy drinks because it’s the only thing that feels like it’s making me some what “happy”

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Comments

pooleemily29

@ryleyyg I'm sorry to hear that you must be suffering so bad bless you! I know its tough when your going through hell isn't it? Especially if no ones listening to a word you tell me. I completely get what your frustrated because I sometimes get low and when I tell someone its either " Oh shes being silly or stupid"! Or oh the counsellor will help you. I was meant to have a phone call from the counsellor last week but id just come out of hospital then so had to cancel it. Its disgusting how they're treating you. Im here if you need anyone to talk to I know you find it tricky talking to new people but im here if you need to talk ok. @pooleemily29 😊🩷

pooleemily29

@ryleyyg sorry I meant tell them not me

ryleyyg

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1045715#Comment_1045715

I appreciate you,

I genuinely cannot wait to move out, but I am also scared living on my own.

pooleemily29

@rylegg why not try supported housing in your area? @pooleemily29

Littlefatfriend

Hi Ryleyyg

Your mindset seems positive and constructive and that's by far the best way to do things like these. People, families and housing can be complicated!

Ranting (particularly in places like this) can sometimes help. A problem shared...

Shift work isn't easy. My stepdad and a few of my friends did/do it, many businesses are open 24 hours a day. There's a growing pool of evidence demonstrating the harm that night shifts do to people in the long term, that's why most such businesses have rotated shifts for decades. Might earplugs help you? Headphones? Music or talk radio in the background? They've all helped me in the past.

Your family obviously shouldn't expect you to remain in your room. We call them prisons and prisoners would be treated better than that.

It seems to me you all need to work this out reasonably and fairly. If that's not possible then you ought to be in a position to move out. Do you have a social worker? They (and other advocacy groups which are out there) can be great sources of information. They likely know exactly what help should be available to you and can probably help you find providers of suitable housing.

Alcohol is toxic, alcoholism is an "excessive" desire to drink that toxin. Almost everyone I know (including me) would therefore qualify as an alcoholic. It can be enjoyable, as can nights out. It's not illegal and only the drinkers can change it. Please try not to get drawn into their problem. I appreciate that doesn't look easy whilst you still live with them.

Lots of people find depression very difficult to understand. As you mentioned, they often assume antidepressants or counselling can fix it like a plumber to a tap. If your family would be willing to read and consider them, I've seen very good (leaflet-sized) advice that may help them understand. It's also available online. You may well be able to get professional help explaining it to them.

I expect you know that sleeping during the day can be a symptom of depression. It just further suggests to me your home situation isn't helping. If I was in your position I'd discuss all this with both my counsellor and my social worker.

It's unlikely to be quick, but it seems to me you should have better options available.

Energy drinks are packed with sugars and caffeine, neither of which are healthy. They're also often associated with increased anxiety, stress, and even depression. They're least likely to help but I guess if you think they do in the short term then (much like alcohol) they aren't illegal. In the long run (like alcohol) they'll interfere with how often you dream whilst you're asleep, and that's not a good idea. Ask you counsellor to explain why, it might help.

Information is power, and a change seems to me what may help you. I encourage you to get all the info you can.

Good luck

ryleyyg

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1045756#Comment_1045756

I appreciate this. I genuinely wanna move out but the thing is I’m scared of being alone.
maybe I’ll get myself a indoor cat or something.
Any tips so I don’t feel scared when I do eventually move out etc. would help a lot.

ryleyyg

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1045769#Comment_1045769

I’ve just been threatened again about being kicked out because of my so called “attitude”

Littlefatfriend

Thanks Ryleyyg

It's natural to feel cautious about things when we first do them. That classic "fear of the unknown".

Precisely because you don't yet know what (if any) problems you may find, it's difficult to offer advice. You may find the experience empowering and enjoyable. Thirty years ago I (mostly!) did. Few things worth having are easy, but they're perfectly possible and expert help is generally available. Sometimes it's just a case of finding that help, and the interweb should be making all that easier.

Fear of being alone is very natural too, but lots of people (including me) also enjoy being alone. There are now available almost infinite means of entertaining ourselves, some free and many of which can be made affordable.

Have you had pets in the past? They're likely to complicate what accommodation may be available to you and therefore it's perhaps worth working that out before you look. They aren't cheap and sometimes (vets!) can be expensive and a faff on. I now live with 2 cats and I had snakes for a few years. I'm very fond of them but (frankly) not having them was easier and cheaper.

Fear and worrying very rarely achieve anything. They're best avoided and copious amounts of advice about that is available.

I encourage you to focus on remaining constructive and as positive as possible.

The best solution to fear and worrying is first to work out precisely what it is you're feeling those emotions about.

Then work out what you can do to influence or control the source of that concern.

Then do that. Find out how you can help yourself and who or what else may help you, and you'll give yourself the best chance you can.

Frankly at this stage it's worth noting that if your family do kick you out you will be prioritised by social services etc. Homeless people with disabilities make for bad press.

I encourage you not to be confrontational with anyone, but I would certainly inform my social worker, counsellor and perhaps my GP about their threat.

Good luck

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