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Destined for the lives we have?

Jane315STARX

Are we destined for this current life?.Can we alter its path I wonder?.Do our health issues have a role in what happens in the rest of our lives? And will this pan out negatively or otherwise?.As I sit here and contemplate lots of questions with so many factors of stress in my life right now.I actually wonder how it's possible to be tested this much?.I think some people could perhaps manage their own traumas to an extent but having my own and my sons is a whole new level.Im thinking my late dad was correct in saying that he was biding his time.I hope he enjoying himself wherever he is

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Littlefatfriend

In my opinion life is to the greatest extent what we make of it. I've never seen a conception of destiny which stands up to logical scrutiny. I think everything can be rationalised.

Either way, it wouldn't change my behaviour. I hope to enjoy myself whilst doing as little harm as possible.

It's working fine for me, good luck

rubin16

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1076052#Comment_1076052

Did you know that the universe only exists if someone is looking at it, if no one is observing that particular thing then its not there. This was proven during the "Double Split Experiment" a few years ago, whereby atoms only act by the laws of nature if observed by someone or something.

Also currently everyone in the world is being controlled by a very small minority of world leaders, they control everything. Print the money we have, control our laws and subject us to a system that will always cause misery, depression and mental health issues. The world leaders we see in the public eye (Trump, Starmer etc.) are just puppets and mere interns. They have no say, or control. The biggest lie we have is that we have true demacracy at the moment. This is clearly proven while this digital ID takes place, the western world and most of the world is still a dictatorship.

The current world system we have is currupt, did you know also its impossible for a country to get out of debt? Everytime money is printed it there is interest added to it, which has to be paid back to the banking corporations. (Bank of England, Federal Reserve Bank of America) This means for example every £5 note to be printed (In circulation) actually costs £7.50, meaning the more money in circulation the more debt we have, and these debts can be called in anytime, and these corporations can change the circulation at anytime reducing or increasing inflation on that country. These banking corporations are privately owned by the secret world government such as Rothchilds, Rockerfella's etc who actually control the world and everyones lives.

Unfortunatley life as we know it shouldn't be the way it is, it is always set up for failure and meant to keep people enslaved into the system with no escape. Unless everyone in the world actually started questioning things like the small minority of us do, then we are all trapped in this system which is going to get worst and worst and more controlling. The world government know this and are starting to increase the control they have, it will soon be impossible to stand up for your rights without being "cut off".

bookrabbit

A good portion of the time I can't help believing that the devil is using me for his entertainment. Every time I am happy something horrible goes wrong, something that I have no control over and that isn't my fault unless I did something dreadful in another life!!

The rest of the time I know that's nonsense but there is no logical explanation for the consistency with which bad things happen. The devil has crept in because of my sister's path to Christianity which was through her belief in the devil appearing to her and her belief that only JC can save her from him. See what I mean about it being out of my control. I lost my home because of her need to sell out home to give money to Africa so JC would find her worthy.

As to democracy I have come to the conclusion that democracy works because it is chaotic and prevents devious minds getting the upper hand. Trump threatens this back and forth with his threat to the transfer of power. He is dismantling the civic institutions that have been built up to provide the checks and balances to anyone imposing their ideas on everyone the way Putin does. Trump envies Putin and wants to do the same thing and sadly reform want to bring it over here too. Long live the chaos of the Labour party although I didn't vote for them. They are the benign option that we would be stupid to reject. Our lives are precarious and we don't realise how lucky we are that there is any fairness built in to the systems at all.

I may have had a lot of horrible things happen to me but I am immensely grateful that the welfare state is here to enable me to live as well as I do. I don't take it for granted and know that things could be far worseand are likely to be far worse in the future when the effects of climate change plus political change really kick in.

birdwatcher

Interesting question. When I look at how my disabilities have affected me and how I was , say, 10 years ago I sometimes think it's gods sick joke. I was a very fit and active person. Sociable one too. Was here,there and everywhere, always doing something. Fast forward to today. I'm a virtual recluse. Chronic arthritis which now affects me from the shoulders down. Pain and my walkings about gone. Plus a waterworks problem and other stuff going on. My background was care work and I've looked after people who were in a better state than I am now. Don't realistically think I could have changed how life would pan out. To use an expression of my son's, it is what it is. One line of the serenity prayer goes along the lines of accept the things you cannot change. And I think there's a lot in that. I certainly don't think I'm an optimist, I describe myself as a realist. I don't let things get me down, I won't have. ' professional ' care staff in. It was suggested a couple of years ago, I flatly refused. I have a friend looks after me very well, I've got my own home and, the really important bit! I've still got my dog , I will not part with her. We get by, keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm perfectly happy with life as it is.

Jane315STARX

Some very interesting responses and each very different and individual.As that is how we all are and makes us who we are.What is interesting is that we all seem to be very compationate people on here.Thats how I have always felt,and I think that could be because we can relate to simular things which have brought us to this forum.The saying 'That the best things in life are free'.Could be true in so many ways if you equate it to the things we see and feel.As Being Happy really is priceless

theme79

“The world is afflicted by suffering, but one should not lose heart.” — Majjhima Nikāya 131

OK - I’m a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to disability communities, especially here, as purely physical impairment is less common in the west. At the age of five I was totally paralysed from polio – tube-fed, ventilated, unable to move or do anything for myself. It took nearly three years to get home and begin again as a severely disabled child.

Did that change everything? Of course it did. You become different. You learn early how much work it takes to fit into a world not built for you. It’s not just the physical barriers – it’s navigating school, work, friendship, intimacy, and sexuality. Disability touches everything.

But different doesn’t necessarily mean worse, and it’s never as simple or predictable as people think. The real trap is clinging to a fixed idea of who you were “before” illness or disability – as if that identity was the real you and everything after is loss. Life doesn’t work like that. We are who we are now, and for many of us with fluctuating or progressive conditions, that changes month to month, sometimes day to day.

Nothing is fixed. Nothing permanent, as Buddhist pstwoyld tell you. Everyone alive eventually discovers this, but as disabled and chronically ill people we get the opportunity to learn it earlier – and we live closer to that truth. There is both pain and clarity and truth in that.

But the world around us still sells the fantasy that life should be an endless story if, or search for health, youth, happiness and success. Most people live like they secretly expect to avoid ageing, illness, or death until one day sooner for some, late for others, reality proves otherwise. So when we face pain, depression, exhaustion, fear, and uncertainty, we’re pushed to long for the past, or to fantasise about some future where we’re “fixed” and “normal.” That mindset is a magnet for despair.

I think it helps to separate three things that often get bundled together:

•Impairment – the physical or cognitive limitations we have.

•Disability – the social and structural barriers that exclude us.

•Illness – the medical aspects, pain, fatigue, instability.

They overlap, but they aren’t the same. Having impairments isn’t inherently negative – it simply is. The real harm often comes from external ableism, lack of access, and the quiet prejudices that shape how others treat us.

I won’t pretend I’ve sailed through it. I had five years of childhood before polio. My memories are full of cycling, swimming, running wild around my grandparents’ farm. Then suddenly, overnight, it all changed. When I returned home aged 7, I couldn’t walk, write, or even read. I had lost friends. Even after returning to school abd trying to catch up, I left school again at 15 for yet more treatment. And still – life went on. I went to art school became an artist and designer, then life upended and I went back to study and became a psychologist. I have

married, had children, traveled a bit. And as I’ve aged, I’ve needed more and more support again – ventilator, power chair, then cancer etc etc – the full circle of illness, impairment and disability. And everyone has their own unique individual fascinating story.

Some days it’s hard. Some months are brutal. But life is still life – textured, complicated, surprising. Joy doesn’t vanish; it just moves into smaller places. The colour of old brick wall on a London street. My small dog wanting a lift on my wheelchair. Quiere sitting with my wife. A stranger smiling as they pass without pity. Those things matter. Possibly more than the big things. Being a disabled person can also if you let it releas you from external social pressures and expectations.

I don’t romanticise suffering. I don’t think pain is a gift, it’s not. And I’d never tell anyone to “stay positive.” But I do think part of surviving this life is refusing to let ableism define it for us. Yes – fight injustice wherever it shows up. But don’t forget there is more to us than what we think we’ve lost. There’s still meaning to be found, even if – especially if – life didn’t go to plan.

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“We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”

— Epictetus (c. 50 – 135 CE)

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