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Abusing prescription pain meds

sosad999

I've been on strong prescription pain meds for over 20 years following a car accident that caused me to suffer with back pain and sciatica. As I've got older, I now have hip pain that isn't treatable with surgery etc.

I'm not in pain all the time and when I am, its rarely really bad. I still take them but its more for emotional pain because of how they make me feel (or not feel). Just recently, I've taken more than the max dose. I've admitted it to the mental health team who told me to speak to my GP or ring 111 if I do it again.

I've rung the GP this morning to get an appointment about this. I know they'll want me to taper off and I accept that I'm addicted but the thought of not having them is overwhelmingly scary. I'm waiting on their call back.

I feel very alone and scared

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Comments

Holly_Alumni

I'm really sorry to read how you're feeling right now @sosad999, it must be very scary. But you've absolutely done the right thing by not only recognising this, but acting on it by contacting your GP. I can imagine this is something they see quite a bit with prescribing pain killers, especially over a long period of time so I'm sure they'll be understanding and will have a good idea of the best route forward. Will you let us know how you get on today?

Rosie_Scope

Sorry you're feeling so alone @sosad999, we're here if you need to chat or rant about things. As Holly says, you've done the right thing by reaching out to your GP about your medication. I hope they're able to support you with it all. Keep us updated if you can 💛

sosad999

I ended up going to A&E. The GP freaked out (she hadn't even asked about how many tablets) and rang them to make sure they would do an urgent blood test. I went, got a lecture off the triage nurse abut livers etc (very condescending). The doctor was more supportive. Bloods are fine. Told not to stop taking them without a taper plan in place. Need to speak to my GP again now.

it was all very overwhelming and I felt very out of control

Rosie_Scope

Sorry to hear that @sosad999. It was good of them to check your levels just in case but that all sounds really difficult when you're already not feeling your best.

Hopefully now you've been checked out they'll treat you in a calmer way. Is your GP usually quite understanding?

sosad999

I don't often talk about my mental health with my GP. I'm under CMHT and have recently been allocated a key worker who I saw a couple of weeks ago. She did tell me I should go to A&E if I take too many but because i don't take a lot in 1 go I wasn't concerned. I feel weird, I've never had my mental health feel so 'public' before and its made me feel so vulnerable.

Rosie_Scope

It's really understandable that you feel like that @sosad999. I don't know about you but my mental health can feel like a really private, personal thing, and going through it all with multiple new people isn't nice. Especially as I'm sure you weren't really expecting to be taking a trip into A&E today and that's never a comfortable place to be.

Are you speaking to the GP again today, or can you take a bit of time to rest and process things?

Holly_Alumni

Hi @sosad999 just wanted to check in, see how you're doing today. Did they look after you at at A&E? 💛

sosad999

Hi,

The A&E doctor is writing to my gp so i think i'll wait to hear from them. She gave me an idea on how to taper but being completely honest, its not going to happen just yet. I'm spiralling and have no idea how to stop or slow it and I'm not sure if I care

Holly_Alumni

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1132432#Comment_1132432

It's good they're talking to one another but I'm worried about how you are feeling in the meantime. Have they provided you with any further support since you've left A&E whilst waiting to see the GP?

sosad999

No they haven't. I did have a call with my CMHT key worker yesterday but i'm feeling a lot worse today. I want to self harm, anything to stop feeling/thinking. i don't feel safe

Holly_Alumni

It sounds like things have been really tough for you, and a lot has happened over the past few days as well which is bound to be overwhelming @sosad999. I'm going to pop you an email in a moment, so please keep an eye out for it. 💛