Friend looking into supported living needs advice
Hi everyone,
A friend of mine is currently looking into supported living and would really appreciate hearing from people who have experience of it.
One of the things he is trying to understand is what day-to-day life is actually like. How does the daily routine work? How much say do you have over your own day, and how much freedom do you have to come and go as you please?
For example, he is religious and attends a place of worship. Would he generally be able to go out independently or with appropriate support to attend Friday evening services, or are there restrictions around leaving the accommodation at certain times?
Another important question for him is feeling safe and being able to be himself. He has experienced prejudice in the past because of his identity, so he wants to know how supported living providers deal with situations where someone may be open about their identity but is concerned about experiencing discrimination or hostility.
How safe and supported have people felt being open about who they are in supported living? And what should someone ask a provider about their approach to equality, discrimination and personal safety before deciding whether a placement is right for them?
Any experiences or advice would be really appreciated. Thanks!
Wandering Chris
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Hi, I live in residential care and lots of my friends live in supported livings. Me and my friends are all allowed out when we want. Whether our staff come with us or not depends on our care needs. Those that are safe independently can do that and if we are not safe then our staff accompamy us.
I attend church and staff have always happily taken me to services and bible study and events. I am Christian. Some of our staff are Christian, some Muslim, some Hindu and some atheists. All of the staff are respectful of my faith and support me to attend the events that are important to me, even if they do not share the same faith.
There is the option to do activities and outings alongside other residents, with two or three residents and two or three staff all going somewhere together like bowling or cinema or crazy golf, or anything else people enjoy. It is in no way mandatory though. Residents only share activities if they are friends and are choosing to spend time together.
Residents enjoy pursuing their own interests and go out to their own activties with their staff. The same goes for going on holiday. I do not cope with change and so I choose to not go on a holiday. A couple of other residents enjoy going together on holiday, with their staff. Other residents prefer to go on holiday just with their member of staff and without other residents. People choose where they want to go and staff support them to make it happen.
Staff can support residents to save up for things they enjoy and to make good budgeting decisions. For some people their family manages their money for them instead. Others manage their own money.
Thre isn't a curfew or a bedtime. The only consideration is if you need staff with you when you are out and you are attending something late at night, there are less staff on the night shift. Staff will stay late to take you to those things but you just need to make sure to ask in advance so that staffing can be sorted out.
I hooe that is helpful and I hope your friend finds a nice home.
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It would've been 20 years a week last Thursday ago since I moved into "supported" living with the local HA, I won't bore you with my usual long winded rant but the first 5 years were great, then what was the "Cluster" project lost its funding from local government, and the support vanished almost literally overnight.
In the end I gave the legally mandated 30 days notice last April and moved out in May, and to cut a long, depressing story short I ended up wishing I'd stayed at the Flat in S3.
Until I moved into a care home just before Christmas last year, and it's been great.
My point is that I've tried supported living, and most of the time it's great, but it's only as good as the staff available to support you, and as I've been painfully aware for most of the last 25 years, the care/support sector is, and probably always will be, in staff shortage hell.
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I agree with what you are saying SheffieldMan. It doesn’t matter about the label of whether it is a supported living or a care home, it is how well the place is managed and what the staff are like that makes the difference.
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Wandering_Chris, tell your friend to ask lots of questions when he looks round his prospective new home. Get a feel for the place. Don’t feel pressured in to saying yes to the very first option.
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No, he needs to visit at least 4 different places like I did.
Like in July 2024 I visited a place which was just up the Hill from the Primrose Hill Tram stop so logistically it would've been ideal, but having looked round the place, I turned it down as soon as we got back, it was too small, and there was almost NO storage space for all my stuff.
I also visited a place which was virtually next door to the Sheffield Wednesday ground, and that in itself put me off somewhat, I already go out of my way to not be on a Hillsborough bound Tram after 2 PM if I know there's a match, and living in shouting distance of the venue would've been a nightmare! The bedroom was also on a third floor landing, which would've been freezing cold in the Winter months, and despite my telling social services since day 1 that I do NOT wish for shared accommodation, they recommended this place!
And then last May I finally moved to a place in High Green, stood it for just over 6 months until I finally lost it with the manager and gave the mandatory 30 days notice in lieu of moving to my current abode in December.
Like I said this morning, the Houses themselves are mostly nice, but when you have staff who are often than worse than useless.. Like at the place in High Green, they were frequently leaving me ALONE in the bath tub, and don't get me started on what a safety issue that was, I eventually reported them to the social.
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I have recently been wondering about residential care, it seems to have happened all of a sudden, I look around, but can't put my finger on when I reached near the tipping point.
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Hi @ChrisR777 perhaps it is the pain you are in all of the time that has highlighted the residential care idea?
Perhaps have a look online and see what is available in your area.
The only problem would be Gus, would anyone be able to have him for you and you could visit every couple of days?
Big decision.
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You should look into it mate, I did last year and it's been great.
The main problem was that for the majority of proper care Homes I was considered too young as I was only late 40s at the time, but I moved in here just before Christmas last year, and as mentioned it's mostly great.
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Of course we would be talking post Gus, he is 8yo and won't be around all that much longer. I doubt I meet the criteria just yet anyway.
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In my area, there appear to be many very elderly and disabled people kept in their homes, with multiple visits from council carers every day. Maybe there aren't as many care homes here as in Sheffield?
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To be honest there's not THAT many really, I've visted most of 'em in a personal capacity, and they're run by a Skeleton staff with almost no formal training, not good.
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