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A new life awaits... Perhaps.

CatmanCatman Member Posts: 64 Courageous
Travelled down from Sheerness to Clevedon, south of Bristol yesterday for an overnight stay before heading further south to Cornwall, my Spiritual home and where my Mother was born and bred. 

The time really has come for me to focus on my recovery from domestic abuse and I know I'll never be able to recover whilst my partner remains so volatile. I've gone with her and her Mother's blessing as they hope I'll get it out of my system. What they obviously don't realise is the damage that's been caused by Rach's abuse to me and how I simply cannot live in fear anymore. 

I'm so hoping I can secure this small, one bedroom home for me and Casper my adorable cat. It's in a place, just ten minutes drive from where my Mother used to live. Either way, Friday night will see me sleeping under the stars that shine down on Cornwall. 

For many years I've battled with the urge to move to Cornwall and now, I just may satisfy that urge by living there. I suffer from Depression, Fibromyalgia , Diabetes and PTSD to name but a few of my conditions. I'm not your average Joe so need a lifestyle to suit, quiet and as stress free as possible. A two hour drive awaits, about half the drive I had yesterday. Sleep is somewhat broken tonight, I hurt a bit from the drive but remain resilient, a fire in my belly and a yearning in my heart will see me through my journey. 

What I dread is telling my partner. She can't move with me even if she wanted to as Probation would prohibit her. Sadly as she remains so volatile towards me, I feel I cannot delay things anymore. If I find a place near her parent's home in Sheerness what then? Her volatililty is likely to continue and I'll remain at risk of further assaults. Only a month ago she stayed in a hotel on the Island as she was at risk of assualting me. That's convinced me that I'm unlikely to ever feel safe with her, esp'ly on our own, away from the support of her parents. 

She's had a hard time, her kids taken into temporary foster care and moved to Canada with her ex's family. She could've prevented it though. She continued to drink and assault me regardless of the fact that she was sealing the fate of her two boys. My support worker told me on Monday that she's lucky not to be in Prison for what she's done to me. I've done my best. Now she has to work on her anger issues and I need to recover from what she's done to me and the PTSD that she's caused. 

I'm going to make the most of my time in Cornwall , I should be there a few days at least, before heading back to Sheerness, hopefully for the last time before I head 'Home' to Cornwall with Casper. I pray to God that this little home I hope to rent, will be mine and Casper's very soon. And with any luck, I'll finally start writing my book in the next few months. I also want to become more vocal about the effects of domestic violence.. So many men and women suffer in silence whilst they live in fear of their partner. More, much much more needs to be done to help the victims of domestic violence and abuse. 

My story is far from over ;


  • Pippa_AlumniPippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,851 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks for sharing this with us, @Catman. You've been through a lot and I really hope this is the start of much better days for you. 
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  • janejrjanejr Member Posts: 141 Pioneering
    A new beginning for you @Catman. The love you had for her will fade but the memories of the abuse takes longer. I still struggle , the physical pain gone but the mental pain remains. I occasionally see him when I see my son as he lives with him when he falls out with girlfriends. I look at him now and wonder why I was so terrified of him. I see him as a pathetic human being.. was different back then when I'd like awake listening for his car to pull up and dread his key in the door. I'm glad you have made your first move to escape, don't waste your life thinking they will change if you love them. Happy times ahead of you , stress free from now on for you and your beloved Casper
  • CatmanCatman Member Posts: 64 Courageous
    Thank-you one and all, it's been quite a journey but Casper and I are now living in Lostwithiel, and it's truly beautiful here!! I'm renting a small, one bed house with Countryside views, just seven miles from st Austell. Finally I can relax. Casper and I moved in last Weds and I hope now that Cornwall will be my forever home. 
  • CockneyRebelCockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,257 Disability Gamechanger
    That is great news and I hope you and Casper can look forward to a new and better life

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • janejrjanejr Member Posts: 141 Pioneering
    So proud of you @Catman. Takes a tremendous amount of courage to walk away and start again. Happy days my friend
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  • sandyp196sandyp196 Member Posts: 129 Pioneering
    Due to my own experiences I will tell you now to not tell her you are leaving until AFTER you AND your cat are safely out of there and don't have to go back.  This is very important for the cat too as pets can often be used as a weapon or even hurt by the abuser. 
    Safety first. People who perpetrate domestic abuse don't deserve the same respect you normally give people. 
    Move out, move away, let her know by text message (if you want) and then change your number and don't give new address, 
    With people so volatile a clean break is best and safest. Domestic abuse is all about control. You take that control away and you can't predict what will happen so you need to take every step possible to make sure you and your cat are not accessible to her,.
    Good luck and I think your very brave and deserve the happiness and peace you want and that is your right to have.  
  • janejrjanejr Member Posts: 141 Pioneering
    Stay in touch with us @Catman let us know your ok.
  • CatmanCatman Member Posts: 64 Courageous
    Thanks one and all. Casper and I are really happy here in Lostwithiel. Now my healing can begin. 
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