Just need to talk

Awesomelorenzo

Recently, I have felt so wrong. I do weird things, I question myself all the time. I tell my parents I'm not normal, and they ask me what's normal?
My reasonings are:
I watch BBC Doctors. I've gone back to 2007 episodes, which is weird and it feels like an obsession.
Second reason, when I watch tennis, and my side loses, I cry. I sit and have a mental breakdown over a guy I don't know losing. That can't be normal.
I talk to myself. I will happily rant to myself over something that really doesn't matter.
I think the lockdown has driven me mad, although I recently started a job.
Can someone just reassure me I'm normal?

janer1967

hi there what is normal , we are all different so it is hard to define what you mean by normal

I binge watch TV sometimes as there is little else to do especially during lockdown and maybe the crying over tennis is more about the emotions connected to losing rather than the tennis player

Lots of people talk to themselves 

If you are concerned then you should speak to your GP about your concerns but apart from that we are always here to try and help and support

Cher_Alumni

Hello @Awesomelorenzo - thank you for sharing with us how you are feeling.   It's good to talk and get these things out.

I think you are speaking what a lot of us have felt at one time or another in our lives.  Am I normal?  and also, why can't I be like 'everyone else'?!  You know, all those people who seem to have it together 

But, the things you are describing sound pretty normal to me (as your parents say, what is normal anyway?!).  For example:

• Do I and the people I know sometimes watch old series of TV shows, one after the other?  Yes! 
• Do I sometimes seem to get overly emotional over sports events or things I'm invested in?  Yes, yes I do.

It reads like you have some significant things going on in life such as a new job and living through the pandemic/lockdown.  So how you are feeling in the everyday will most likely be linked to this.  

How is the job going?  Also, how are you finding the lockdown? 

Remember, our feelings aren't who we are - they come and go, and change and how you are feeling now won't be how you feel forever.  

Should you need someone to speak to though outside of our community, remember you can always contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'SHOUT' to 85258 to speak to a trained crisis volunteer at Shout.  And as @janer1967 said, please visit your GP if these feelings persist in negatively impacting you.

Awesomelorenzo

I love my new job.
I always seem to cry if Rafael Nadal loses. Or Zverev. It's those 2 and only them. I don't care if anyone else loses.
At work, I really don't want to drive away friends or anything like that, so I'm keeping myself to myself and just doing the work I'm assigned. I don't want them to think of me as a freak. So I won't mention Doctors or tennis. 
At college and school people avoided me because of a band I liked and I used to talk about it a lot, so I'm not going to do that.
So far I've told them I like musicals and horse riding. I won't mention that I happen to adore 2 musicals that don't exist anymore. I just really don't want to be hated on. It's so hard bottling it all up. I just want to tell them what i like, but I won't.

Cher_Alumni

@Awesomelorenzo I'm glad you like your new job! That's great news.

Why not have a go at opening up more with your work friends?  Although you had a bad experience at college and school, it doesn't mean you will again at work.  Who knows, you could be working with someone else who loves tennis and Doctors too! 

My work-mates hear all about my love for Will Young and they know that's just who I am.  You don't have to hide who you are from anyone else 

Awesomelorenzo

Also, I don't like drinking alcohol. I just don't like it and I feel like to make friends and partners in this day and age, you need to meet down a pub.

Cher_Alumni

@Awesomelorenzo Hello, how are you today?  Have you had your B12 injection?  I hope it perks you up a little

Don't worry over not liking alcohol.  Nowadays lots of people are the same and drink non-alcoholic drinks or mocktails if out in the pub. 

Have you tried making friends through different things like online clubs and hobbies?  Many of our members are in The Outsiders Club which is a socialising and dating club run by and for disabled people.  What do you think to joining that? 

I hope you have a good day! 

Awesomelorenzo

@Cher_Scope
Yes, I've had the injection. It's all good.
I like the idea of a club for meeting people.

Tori_Scope

I'm glad the injection went well @Awesomelorenzo Have you clicked the link Cher sent? There should be a sign-up form on there. 

Awesomelorenzo

I now have hyper thyroidism too.

Ross_Alumni

Hello @Awesomelorenzo, how are you today? 

I'm sorry to hear that, have you received support from your GP to treat it?