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More help needed from school for my son

donna1001
donna1001 Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited November 12 in Education
My son has many struggles so far he has been said to have learning difficulties he has a very low cognitive level Tourette’s and many more things he is 10 don’t understand basic instructions I’ve is due to go high school and can hardly spell I asked school how he was doing they said fine but I could see he was not making progress I decided to apply for a statement the senco told me I wouldn’t get one I said we should let them decide I received no advice nothing when the process of statement I got ended it decided to give my son a statement and it’s also fully funded it was discovered he is 2-3 years behind the stament was issued may 2020 and still the school have not explained what the statement means they have been offish and not helpful I’ve tryed asking to be told they will arrange to chat with myself my son has refused to attend school due to his dislike of noises he struggles with whole school setting they offered no help but kept giving letters saying there’s advice help like they were trying to provoke me in reports from school to do with the statement the senco has said things that’s not true I still have had no advice or help and I don’t no what I should be asking as I have troubles with understanding I feel awkward like they are judging me I feel his stament is mentioning nothing concerning his medical issues the la believes his special needs is behavioural emotional social difficulties when there is more that’s going on any behaviour is due to frustration of not understanding what is happening and yes he is a bit on the emotional side due to lack understanding because my son shuts down and camflauge at school I feel I’m being doubting also excuses about why he is behind like first it was because dad stopped contact then his attendance that do t explain why he can’t wipe his own bottom or why he can’t asborb process information he was put in nurture class and the children throw tables around my son just puts fingers in his ears sat crying but school did not tell me basically my son remembered three weeks later and told me he can’t remember anything the senco has made this behavioural thing stick I think it’s very wrong like I say there been no help when he is struggling at school I’ve seen no adjustments made it’s not uncommon for children to mask when there not comfortable I feel school should have helped him a long time ago because they knew how was struggling they did nothing and still nothing I’m seeing no progress he is struggling in all areas of learning needs constantly to be repeated to and still forgets he has no awareness to his surroundings or danger and so vulnerable he don’t no what he is saying there is reports saying that someone meets me at the gate to take him this is untrue then it says that he has help and he don’t even no the person that they are claiming are helping I don’t no either never met or spoke there is a meeting on Tuesday and the person concerning his Stantment will be there I don’t no what I should be asking also I don’t no if to mention all the information that is not true they have not gave or advice or helpful feels so mentally tired all I wants is my child to get the help he needs and to be kept safe and not wander off he has no road sense he is not going to cope in a main stream high school I have no family or friends it’s just me and my three children I don’t go outside the door my son depends on my help to do anything all professional seems to have been brain washed by the senco it’s very wrong only help is behavioural classes which I’m not accepting as there is a reason for this he is now just seen a new doctor after I complained about the previous one due to no communication at first the new doctor didn’t seem to want to listen but I’ve recently again. Asked again for my concerns to be listened to I’m not nuts because I suffer with depression anxiety and have had comments questioning my mental state before now I’m at my wits c end and I’m starting to give up the new doctor has agreed to do a brain scan I believe this will explain why he is struggling so much I’m disgusted at the school the way they are beening I’ve shown videos to prove that what I’m saying is the truth and can’t force my son to be himself if he is not comfortable please any advice of what I should be asking at this annual meeting because nobody has explained anything many thanks guys 
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Comments

  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,416

    Scope community team

    hello @donna1001

    Welcome to the community, thank you for joining us and speaking so honestly about how you feel, and what you are going through with your child.

    I can see how this situation would be so upsetting for you as a parent, you just want your son to receive the support he needs to get a fair education and it doesn't appear as though he is getting that support at the minute.

    I would advise contacting a specialist organisation such as the Independent Provider of Special Educational Advice (IPSEA) to see if they can support you at all. It must be hard as a single parent when something like this happens, I imagine you must feel quite lonely so hopefully you will be able to access some support for this. 

    Is your son receiving all the support he needs outside of school to manage his conditions? You mentioned a brain scan, and hopefully that is able to provide some answers, but does he receive any other kind of support through his GP or specialist to manage his conditions?

    How are you coping? You mentioned in your post that you have depression and anxiety, do you receive any support from your GP to manage those things? You must be under quite a bit of pressure at the minute, so it's important to ensure that you look after yourself as much as possible and speak up to those in your life if you feel as though you need help. It sounds to me as though you're doing fantastically though.
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  • donna1001
    donna1001 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Only support seems to do with behaviour which I keep saying any behaviour is due to his lack of understanding he has a stament that is for emotional and social difficulties it mentions nothing about his medical issues which I think should have been added I’ve never been explained to about his stament but I no it’s fully funded obviously school don’t see what I do as he is different and shuts down but they are aware as I’ve shown videos he is not copeing and was refusing to go Again today he is in a class for behavioural problems and he is not copeing with the noise of screa Shouting I asked for him to placed in the srb class as I believe he would settle better but school said no but he could go back over the main part which is also not suitable he is struggling with the whole school setting I feel school could help more but have not and his learning in year three was below average which I think they should have got more support put in place when he has mentioned about the sounds that are affecting him he’s been told to get over it which I think is appalling I just don’t no what will happen I’m trying my best but feel like I’m fighting every one and how difficult it is not getting any advice or support I don’t no why in reports it says things that’s not true the senco has said that I get met at the gate and someone takes my child off me when he’s refusing this is a complete lie also the senco has said the reason he is three yrs behind first it was dad who stopped contact two yrs ago then it was his attendance because it dipped from March to July when I’ve got in touch telling school my son is xx refusing to attend because of his sensitivity to sound I’ve had a reply saying he is milking it which I think it’s wrong as he can’t help his struggles I’m just going round in circles my own health is not good also have copd and I’m out breath and due to all this stress concerning my son and  fighting for help I’ve lost a lot of weight I feel mentally drained I take medication for depression and have to just get on it is lonely sometimes but the children take a lot of time especially my son as he needs help with basically everything he can’t remember what he has just been told so it’s constantly repeating thanks Ross it’s nice to no there is people that believe my story concerning my child because all other professionals seem to be failing him also my youngest who has the same dad is displaying adhd but I’m so put off by going asking for help as twice I have asked but they don’t want to refer her due to schools input x
  • donna1001
    donna1001 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    So it’s like he has these issues but I’m just left to get on and cope no support I’ve spoke to many people and only offer support for behavioural what about support for someone to come and take him out for a few hours one to one so I can have time with the other two or have a bath or read a book cx
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,416

    Scope community team

    Hello @donna1001

    How have you been this past week? Have you been able to make any progress with accessing help or support such as through IPSEA?

    donna1001 said:
    So it’s like he has these issues but I’m just left to get on and cope no support I’ve spoke to many people and only offer support for behavioural what about support for someone to come and take him out for a few hours one to one so I can have time with the other two or have a bath or read a book cx
    It sounds as though you're referring to respite care, have you looked into that as an option? See further information here.
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