Hi, my name is Jadey88!

Jadey88
Jadey88 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Listener
in Start here and say hello!
I have had the most traumatic 2yrs of my life, I have 4 children 1 which as ADHD and another with cerebral palsy, I moved to a new area because of traumatic crime. I'm unable to get never help regarding my children and myself my mental health I feel like giving up please can someone help 😔 

Comments

  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    edited February 2022
    Hi @Jadey88

    Welcome to Scope's forum. It is great to see you have joined us. I really appreciate how you have already managed to find the courage to reach out for support. I recognise how much courage it must take to reach out. 

    I am sorry to hear you are experiencing a tough time. Though, I am glad to see the wonderful support already provided by @Teddybear12. Would you like to expand on why you don't feel able to get help regarding your children, yourself, and your mental health?

    We will help you in any way we can and we are listening!  :)
  • Jadey88
    Jadey88 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hi @Teddybear12 thank you for responding and welcoming me in here. Much appreciated. It has been easy I must say its been 2 years now and I've only just managed to talk about it ( I was writing my first message for over 2 hours because I was in doubt about it. I have been trying my up most hardest to get help for my children as this has effected there life's and mental health 😔 I feel like I'm failing them because every one I have reached out to for help are unable to help. I suffer with traumatic depression and serve anxiety I have reached out to organisations just to be either ignored or told they are not specified enough to help me. So what use am I to my children in this state of mind ? I can even get help for them, I'm failing as a mother, I need urgent medical help and every door is shutting on me. What do I do ? And fast. 
  • Jadey88
    Jadey88 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thank you @Teddybear12 for writing back to me, I did register with the GP in 2020 when I moved here but he just shuts me down or tells me that there's nothing he can do, my 4 Yr old daughter is having mental break downs and I believe she has the same disability as my youngest son, I raised all these concerns with him as well as catching her turning a knife on her sibling, to which he replied remove all harmful objects, there's nothing we can do unless she dangers herself, no were in Kent will help her because of her age plus you are new to the area so the schools can't refer her as they don't know her well enough to do a report on her. I could not believe that I was hearing .... my 4 Yr old daughter had to danger herself in order to get the right help she needed ? And as a mother to have to hear that from a professional perspective haunted me and still does now, what if its to late ? Every mothers worse nightmare. I can't even get my sons medication review as the gp told me that I have to go though the school to do it ? 12 yrs old and medicated for ADHA which in 7 yrs as only been reviewed once which resulted in the doseage being increased, he has been taking sleeping pills since the age of 3/4 yrs olds never been reviewed. I've tried self-refers for a SEN for he's education and nothing he's failing in school, he's anger and emotions, he's mental health is all over the place being excluded from school, I'm afraid I've lost my battle with him 😢 I can't control the out busts no more he's strong and bigger than me now and he has gone to attack me on a numerous occasions, smashing things in our house which his other 3 siblings have to witness, 1 in which has cerebral palsy type of variable, made I add I don't get no help with him either 😢 
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,538 Championing
    Hello @Jadey88 thanks so much for reaching out on the community, it's sometimes very difficult to do, so well done. I'm sorry to hear what's been happening lately, it must be very overwhelming for you and all your family.

    Can I ask what you mean when you say urgent medical help? Once we know, we can help support you as best we can. Could I also check exactly what support you're all getting at the moment?

    Although you feel that relationship with your current GP is not working it's important to raise your concerns so at least there is a record of them. Perhaps you could also consider raising a complaint about the support you've have received. Or is there the option of changing GP at all?

    I'd like to share a few organisations which can help offer you and your family support:

    • IPSEA can help provide support for your children in school, if you feel that will help 
    • The mental health charity Mind has a lot of helpful information and advice if you're struggling with depression
    • You can call Samaritans if you'd like help now on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

    Most importantly, if you ever feel like you or your children are in danger, you must call 999 or go to your nearest hospital right away.

    We'd like to offer you additional support, I'll be sending you an email with the details very soon, so please do keep an eye out for it when you can. We're here to support you, so don't hesitate to ask if you need help.
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,538 Championing
    @Jadey88 I forgot to mention in my earlier post, we have @Richard_Scope who may be able to assist you regarding finding the right help and support for your child with cerebral palsy.

    I've sent that email offering additional support to you, please do let us know your thoughts when you can.
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,740 Cerebral Palsy Network
    Hi @Jadey88
    I'm Richard and I can help with questions about cerebral palsy.

    What support have you been offered for your child with cerebral palsy? You should have a paediatrician and physiotherapists working with you.  
  • Jadey88
    Jadey88 Online Community Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hi everyone thank you for you Comments when I said medical help I was referring to myself with battling depression, stress, worry, anxiety the gp gave me 2weeks of medication in December 2020 and I've had nothing since or heard nothing. I emailed rubbicorn for help and never heard back. I've spoken with insight who wrote to my gp but nothing happened. I had a lady from early help visit my home 3 times and then I was told that they are closing my case as I didn't need them. I emailed loads of different charities that i find online, either no reply back, only had 1 email response which stated they wasnt able to help me. I'm not saying its all 1 sided maybe I should have spoken out abit more. I don't wanna do or say anything that's gonna put my children at risk from me as everything I do is to better my children's life, they are my world and they are the only reason I'm still going in life. I live for my children and don't want it any other way. As for my son who has cerebral palsy type of  Variability, we was in the process of putting a plan together with the hospital he was under, he was 3 months premature and all the care he has received so from the hospital that he was born at, appointments were put on hold in March 2020 due to the COVID-19, by September 2020 mine and my children life changed traumaticly and we had to leave our home of 6yrs because it was not safe to stay there, we come to Kent to live with my parents but I now have my own home which I'm privately renting, I've been seeking help for me and my children from GPs, schools, council, counciling, charities. I have not had no help at all but I really don't understand why, I'm a single parent with 4 children struggling mentally, physically and emotionally why can no one from anywhere help me ? 
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    Hi @Jadey88

    Thanks for your response. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing a difficult time. I can imagine just how tough it must be to need support and not feel able to access it. It seems like you have been really brave in trying to reach out for support with your mental health and personal circumstances but you haven't had much luck in reciprocation, unfortunately.

    I have noticed you have said you don't want to put your children at risk. Would you like to expand on what you mean by this? Additionally, is there anything, in particular, that has triggered your depression, stress, worry and anxiety that you would like to talk to us about? It is okay if not but I want you to know that we are here for you and listening to you. If you don't want to talk about anything in particular though but would appreciate some support in general with your depression, stress, worry and anxiety, some potentially useful supports include:

    However, I have noticed some things you might want to explore further with us include: your son's cerebral palsy and having to leave your home. Just to make sure I have fully understood your situation, would this be an appropriate interpretation of your situation? I just want to make sure we can support you the best we can. 

    If you are interested in exploring these with us, would you like to expand on what help you would like with your son's cerebral palsy? I can imagine this is a difficult situation to be in but is there anything, in particular, that is causing you concern about your son's cerebral palsy or any questions you have for us in particular?

    I can hear just how far you have come with the move into your own place since having to move. Congratulations on this! I think it is important to acknowledge all progress and this definitely deserves some recognition and celebration. 

    I hope this helps! However, please do feel free to let us know where you are currently at with things and if you would like to explore anything with us in more depth. We are here for you, I promise  :)

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